Are My Parents Shafting Me?

<p>I know there's a lot more that goes into deciding how much one can pay for college besides income, but I'd like to know if this makes sense or not. My parents (together) have an Adjusted Gross Income of almost $150K per year. Their AGI will be over $150K per year soon once my mom starts working full-time. They say they can only pay $12K per year for college and then contribute $5K every year after college that I'm paying loans. Is it just me or is that a little less than what families with that big of an income usually contribute to their only child's education?</p>

<p>P.S. I don't mean to sound ungracious for my parents, but I do think I have a right to know if this is what other families do.</p>

<p>nah that's pretty good. It pays for most state colleges minus your own stafford loan and then pays off the loan later on. If you want to go to a private school w/o a large scholarship you need to pay for that yourself later on. They're providing you with a possible college education for free. </p>

<p>note: my parents income is around 190k and I'm not getting anything.</p>

<p>i hope not, thatd be pretty gross.</p>

<p>Are you seriously saying you feel "shafted?" Your parents have offered $12,000 X 4 years plus $5,000 X ten years of college loan repayment. That adds up to $98,000. You have no "right" to any of their money. Wow.</p>

<p>Entitlement Syndrome is alive and well. If my kids had that kind of attitude, let's just say it wouldn't be pretty.</p>

<p>If your parents are just now telling you what they can afford, it's a shame you found out this late in the game when you could have adjusted your school list accordingly. If they've been telling you and you haven't listened to/believed them, that's your problem. </p>

<p>This highlights the importance of communications on both side of the table when talking about the affordability of a college education. Every family has to determine its own tolerance for debt, need to save for retirement, need to help support another family member who is ill or elderly, or to have a cushion against the vicissitudes of an uncertain economy. </p>

<p>But to complain that your parents are "only" giving you $98k and feeling shafted about it.....wow. That's the more than the cost of four years at most state flagships.</p>

<p>LOL, my parents didn't contribute anything towards my college nor will they be contributing towards my loan repayment. They can't afford to. Feel lucky that your parents have offered you this level of support -- that will pay for tuition at most public unis and a good chunk of it at private ones, too.</p>

<p>It's mainly your responsibility to find ways to pay for college anyway. Trust me, after my parents told me they couldn't afford to help, I found ways to get my costs paid.</p>

<p>I worked 35 hours a week during school and 60 hours a week during summer. I am not complaining, my parents were working class folks and I never wanted to burden them. I don't think I need to go on. Smile say thank you and be grateful.</p>

<p>It sounds like your parents are offering to pay in full for an instate public, but financing some of the cost, so you won't necessarily be paying anything for undergraduate if they are paying off the loans. It isn't unusual for parents to only pay for instate public even if they appear to be wealthy. A lot of parents where I live probably make well over $150,000 but send their kids to instate publics. </p>

<p>What I don't understand is why so many kids on CC knock themselves out applying to ten private schools, get accepted at a bunch and THEN learn that their parents have no intention of paying even though they should have figured they don't qualify for financial aid. Have this conversation junior year!!!!</p>

<p>personally I think it's wonderful that your parents will contribute $5000 per year AFTER you graduate to help you pay off your loans. </p>

<p>By the way...as a parent, the title of this thread is quite offensive to me and sounds MOST ungracious. Your parents are contributing to your college education. That is not "shafting you" in any way. It is their decision how much they feel they can or will contribute. </p>

<p>Are you currently a junior? If so, you have some good guidance re: college applications. You can also look for schools where you might be in the running for merit aid that does not consider need.</p>

<p>Your parents raised, clothed, and fed you for 18 years. You are not entitled to anything else. They are being very generous and you owe them a thank you not a whine. </p>

<p>Unbelievable</p>

<p>I won't give you a lecture. I do think that what they are offering is generous. Your EFC might be higher than what your parents feel that they can pay, and frankly many people find their EFC to be unreasonable. I think that your parents are offering to pay a reasonable amount for your education. I hear your frustation, and the fact is that college costs are out of hand for the majority of families who would like their child to go to a 4 year residential college. Parents are frustated by the costs, and students are frustrated when they worked hard throughout high school, but reality dictates that they need to attend a school that is affordable rather than their dream school.</p>

<p>Let's look at the numbers. For the standard 10-year repayment terms and at current interest rates, $5000 per year translates to about $36,000 in loans or $9,000 per year. For the extended 20-year repayment, it comes to about $13,500 per year if you can get your parents to agree to pay those loans that long. Add that to the $12,000 per year they are giving you and the minimum of $5,000 per year that you should be contributing from a part-time job during the school year and a full-time summer job, and your resources come to somewhere between $26,000 and $30,500 per year. That alone will pay full costs at many schools.</p>

<p>From your other post, I see that the real issue is Vanderbilt vs. UF. Current annual costs at Vanderbilt run about $50,000 and at UF about $15,000 in-state and $30,000 out-of-state. </p>

<p>Since you are in-state for UF and have some merit scholarship money there, it sounds like you could pay all of your expenses from the $12,000 per year and hold off on the loans until grad school. You could even save the money you make from whatever employment you choose to take. That is a great position to be in.</p>

<p>Unless Vanderbilt has offered you a lot in merit aid (because I doubt they will offer much in need-based aid from what you have said), you would have to borrow over $30,000 per year to afford it. Your parents' $5000 per year would cover well less than half of the cost of the loan. Even if you could find someone to loan you that much, which will not happen unless your parents are willing to co-sign the loan, that would be way too much to borrow under almost any circumstances.</p>

<p>Bottom line: learn to love UF because it sure looks like you can't afford Vanderbilt. If that is your idea of being shafted, you are not particularly going to enjoy life after college. The attitude that you could have slacked off in high school and still gotten into UF is not going to go very far with your parents. Trust me on that one. And no, you do not have the right to know the financial details of other people's lives.</p>

<p>Do I like the thread title? No--they can do what they like; it's their money. that's the American way. And the wording is just plain rude.</p>

<p>Asked in a different way, do I think that's generous as a parent? No. I don't. We paid 3-4 X that on a smaller income. But that's just me. I felt that to be part of my parenting responsibility (my income determined what aid they'd be getting) and more than that, my privilege.</p>

<p>but, that's my choice. I don't pretend to think it's a common one.</p>

<p>
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They say they can only pay $12K per year for college and then contribute $5K every year after college that I'm paying loans.

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<p>wow. I hope your parents don't see this - if my kids did this then I would drop their "entitlement" to zero.
Entitlement syndrome is right. geesh.
count your lucky stars - kiddo.</p>

<p>Whether or not to help and how much to help with my child's college education is my perogative. I giveth and I can taketh away.</p>

<p>I have to say that I get tired of kids who ask questions like this getting blasted for their entitlement attitude. Granted, they could ask the question more diplomatically, but they want to know if their parents are being cheap in comparison to other parents. I think it's a reasonable thing to want to know. For the record, I think these parents are being pretty cheap, if this is their only child. They're not even willing to spend 10% of their income on their child's college education. While there might be complicating factors (health, big debts, etc.), this doesn't seem like a lot to me.
For any student reading this, you might try asking, "Can you help me benchmark my parents' contribution to my education with what other parents commonly do?" You'll still get blasted by people who didn't get a penny from their parents or who aren't giving their kids a penny, but maybe it won't be as strongly worded.</p>

<p>Let's say that we found out that families earning $150k a year with an only child in college pay, oh, $34,298 per year. OP, that still doesn't tell you anything about how your parents are treating you. Those other families might have significant savings from a lottery win or inheritance or sheer thrift. Their income might have suddenly dropped to $150k. They might live in places where the cost of living is far cheaper than where your family lives. Their house might be paid off. Etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.</p>

<p>And of course you don't know your family's financial picture. Insurance, old debt, funding insurance, bad investments, supporting other family members, medical issues, are just a few things that can eat up a lot of income. </p>

<p>The parents board has a discussion thread right now about philosophy of paying for college. There's a whole range, from parents who will do whatever it takes to pay for their child going anywhere, to parents who will pay for in-state public, to parents who offer what they can. For that matter, there are parents who feel strongly that a child should be able to fund their entire college education themselves. My spouse had an aunt and uncle who felt that way--they were quite well off (and the uncle was an H grad!), but they gave their kids nothing for college. I can imagine how galling it must have been for them to watch their cousin (my spouse) go through undergrad and grad school with my in-laws picking up the tab.</p>

<p>And I agree that you could have phrased this post more graciously. It's natural to wonder how your situation stacks up to others, but it's a bad idea to sound like you're whining about it.</p>

<p>I assumed in good faith that if parents are saying that they can pay 12k/year for 4 years, +5k after graduation for x years, then that is what they truly can pay. Posters are unable to look at your parents other responsibilities and their individual financial picture. As has been questioned, are there old medical bills or medical concerns, are they supporting a grandparent, are there more children who need to college as well, is there a large mortgage or second mortgage, and so on?</p>

<p>Don't know why I can't seem to find the button to edit my post #16, which makes it look like I must be spending all my money on insurance ("Insurance, old debt, funding insurance..."). Whoops, meant "funding retirement". </p>

<p>Some parts of being an adult are really, really boring! Why can't I just spend my money on trips to Europe and fancy dinners instead?</p>

<p>
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they want to know if their parents are being cheap in comparison to other parents. I think it's a reasonable thing to want to know.

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<p>Why? I think it's a completely unreasonable thing to want to know. How my family decides to spend our money has nothing to do with how another family decides to spend its money. Nor is it anyone else's business.</p>

<p>I keep my hands out of other peoples' pockets. Please keep your hands out of mine.</p>

<p>OP: If you were my kid, and I discovered your attitude, I can tell you that my offer of funding for college would drop to zero.</p>

<p>I encourage my kids to ask questions, even if it involves my behavior. My kids have often reported to me that other parents do some things differently than I do. I'm mature enough to consider that as relevant data, although not ultimately dispositive of what I'm going to do. I certainly wouldn't feel that somebody had their hands in my pockets for asking a question on an anonymous message board.</p>