<p>Pretty much everyone around me, simply is not even thinking about college. We just had a meeting at the high school. I found that I am the only parent (of those I spoke to) who has a child going in to the senior year who has been giving applications a thought. Plus, we saw a counselor last year for prepping for this. We have even attended a financial aid seminar. </p>
<p>Every single other parent that I have visited with who has a child going in to senior year actually tells me that they should START looking at colleges. I am shocked. I had a parent tell me that she does not even know if her child took the PSATs or SATs yet, and her child is going in to the senior year. They have not looked at colleges yet (except one, which her child hates she says). Also, this woman is a doctor herself and went to an Ivy League school. How could you have that kind of education yourself, and then completely drop the ball with your own children?</p>
<p>Are we out of the ordinary in that we think ahead about these things and plan? Going in to 9th grade year, it was on our minds to make sure the kids were taking what they needed in high school to be admitted to colleges they were interested in. Also, to make sure they were doing volunteer work, extracurriculars, exploring their interests, etc.</p>
<p>I have seen a bit of both, but I have met plenty of parents who seem to not understand the timeline/planning that is involved in a successful college search. Many of these kids seem to wind up at the local CC. Not that there is anything wrong with that- and thank goodness that they have that option or they would be in trouble.</p>
<p>LOTS of parents are minimally involved and are surprised that the process is not as simple as when we applied. But with that said, if your child is bright but not Ivy material AND money is no object, it doesn’t take as much planning. If my kids want to go out of state or to a private school, I know that I need to do quite a bit of research to find schools that will give them merit aid with their stats. </p>
<p>The reverse is also true. If you know that what is in the budget is living at home and a choice of either community college or the local commuter college, you don’t need to plan all that much.</p>
<p>My friend limited her D’s choices to in state schools. Her stats were below what was needed for the flagship, but with her class rank, she was pretty much an auto admit for any other state school. No real need for ACT or SAT prep or concentration on ECs when you’re automatically admitted based on class rank.</p>
<p>I noticed about half the top ten students (out of classes of about 800) go to the local, sign-up university that I would not send my children to. None of the students went to a top school or big name.</p>
<p>I think that is fine…as long as it’s not done out of ignorance. I’ll always remember an article I read that was supposed to be about how hard it is to get into Ivies. The article featured a girl - URM, first generatation college applicant - who was at the top of her inner city HS class. She applied to two schools: Harvard and local commuter college. She didn’t get into Harvard.</p>
<p>When I read the article, I became angry at her HS GC…there are SO many schools that probably would have liked to have had her, would probably have given her a lot of merit and need-based aid, she might have been a Questbridge match…but all she had heard of was Harvard.</p>
<p>We are a minority in our area because I had my son doing visits summer before junior year. He was miffed at first, but has since seen my planning is making things less stressful for him.</p>
<p>Out state directional colleges are far more costly for our family than many schools I mined for my son. Just applying to a state directional would not have been the best financially and probably not the best match academically and socially.</p>
<p>I like to plan & research. It was easy to whittle down a list of 30-40 for son to go through. As he changes course in what he wants, I am able to give him a couple of schools that meet his requirements. No way could we have made it this smooth without planning.</p>
<p>lmhk70 – I must admit, I am surprised about Ivy Dr. Mom. Is it possible she is feigning indifference because she does not want to get involved in college talk? In my area (affluent suburb with lots of kids going to top schools and nearly all college-bound) it is almost a taboo subject, except among friends.</p>
<p>Perhaps the Ivy mom did it on her own so she thinks kiddo can too? (Honestly, I don’t know either I’m just taking a stab). </p>
<p>My parents weren’t involved at all but they knew I was more driven than they ever were so they just trusted me to do it (and I don’t think they could have helped even if they wanted- and in a way, I think that embarrassed them).</p>
<p>If you’re asking if CC parents are typical, I’ll say no I give a lot of advice to other parents just because I’m an obsessive researcher. Plus I have the time to do it.</p>
<p>What’s the old expression, “luck is the residue of design”? I don’t think CC parents are typical in that we are more engaged and knowledgeable about the nuances of admission. We live in an upscale suburban area with a high school where there is a respectable number of high level college admissions every year. One quarter of all the graduates go to the state flagship school ( high school after high school as my older son referred to it) but there are parents who are engaged and others who leave it to the student to do the legwork. They often are swamped come December and deadline day. Both my sons were advised to have the applications done by Labor Day to minimize pressure of senior year. I didn’t discover CC until older son had already applied but it has been an education.
I have been lucky to have a few neighbors who were in the same boat and we educated each other and our street is very atypical with 5 different houses that had National Merit scholars, either commended or Finalist…over a three year period.</p>
<p>Most of the families around our neck of the woods are staying in state. There is not as much plotting and planning unless they are high acheivers looking for merit scholarships. Most of those kids plot and plan.</p>
<p>I have a highly educated friend who went to a private high school, where counselors guided her step by step through the process of choosing and applying to colleges.</p>
<p>Her daughter is now in a public high school, where, as most regulars on this board know, that sort of hand-holding almost never happens. </p>
<p>Back in the spring, I asked the mom whether her daughter would be taking any SAT Subject Tests this year, and she said, “I don’t know. I’m sure the school will tell her if she should.”</p>
<p>Uh, no. In public schools, it doesn’t happen that way.</p>
<p>This could be the problem with the Ivy-graduate mom. If she went to a private school but her kid goes to a public, she could have misconceptions about the amount of guidance her kid is receiving.</p>
<p>In our area, 50 percent of the kids starting college each fall out of our county high schools, start at the community college. Of the remaining 50 percent, the vast majority stay in state. In our neighborhood, we have eight current college students, six are in state. Most people I know and they are nearly all college grads themselves, put very little thought into the college search.</p>
<p>I would say that of the parents we have talked to, those with older kids are where most of us on CC are at. The first time parents are just starting the “looking”. Realistically, there is a LOT of time unless you are applying single-decision. We started looking early out of necessity. Our kid’s fall schedule just does not allow weekend visits to schools and they can’t miss classes for visits. We have visits this weekend and over Labor Day and then they are done with visits.</p>
<p>This thread should be required reading. Families and school systems handle college planning very differently. Starting to look at colleges Senior year? My D’s private requires her final college list the first week of Senior year! EA, ED, SCEA, SAT, ACT, Subject Test … these were discussed late Sophomore Year. But that’s just the culture of that particular school. Our local public HS is polar opposite … because that’s the culture there.</p>
<p>NewHope33–all of these kids have taken the ACT/SAT, subject tests, thought about which schools they want to look at. The school doesn’t require any lists, nor should they. They have had class meetings with our fantastic counselors along with individual meetings. They just haven’t done any campus visits yet. We are just a lowly public school that sends a large portion of their graduating class on to highly selective schools though :rollseyes: .</p>
<p>In my senior D’s freshman year we were contacted by a parent group to attend a class of 2013 parents luncheon. The lunches typically had about 20 - 30 parents out of a class of 741 and usually had speakers or presenters on topics which affected the students in their various years of school. They meet monthly around six times a year. I know the first subject of this year will be college applications and at least some time during the next few months they will be discussing scholarships and filling out the FAFSA forms. Being lunches I am sure many parents are just not able to come. I do think that those who would not or could not missed out on an incredible opportunity to get valuable information and bond with other parents of their children’s peers. Our younger daughter is a freshman this year and my wife is a co coordinator of the lunches for her class for the next four years. By the way this is a suburban public school.</p>
<p>I work at a public school & can tell you that our counselors go into classes & meet individually with students starting Junior year regarding college. We have night time work shops on: selecting a college, application process, & financial aid, which are moderately attended. Our counselors have even started to take small groups of kids and fill out their common apps with them. Most parents are a lot like their kids…they only listen when it directly pertains to them at that moment. As a result we get all kinds of phone calls from parents who didn’t attend the sessions, but now need to be walked through the whole process.</p>
<p>Yes-- I hate to see the running down of public schools here. Our public’s GCs meet with every junior individually to make a plan for college or post-hs education. I’ve seen the materials; they’re pretty comprehensive. It’s just that there are many kids who aren’t really thinking of it yet, or, yes, who are in the demographic that they will just go to the state school (which is in our town which makes it even easier to do nothing). I think the GCs are hoping that they’re reaching the few kids who do want to reach higher and may need a fire lit under them. There’s only so much they can do, but they ARE trying. Our career center is GC led and volunteer-run, but pretty busy during the year, with a lending library of materials and (to me) a surprising number of college rep visits.</p>
<p>Our school does squat. One of the parents owns a college prep business and does seminars throughout the year on the college admission process. She does not get paid and if she didn’t run these seminars, we would not be getting any information until senior year. We start school tomorrow, so I will be interested in seeing how soon they get on the ball with the seniors. I, on the other hand, have already contacted our GC multiple times about things I need to know for the application process. She thinks I’m crazy because almost nobody from our school goes out of state, let alone to an Ivy. We had about three kids apply for Ivies last year. One is going to UPenn this year and the other two did not get in to Harvard, which to my knowledge is the only Ivy they applied to.</p>
<p>I feel like I am alone in this process except for my CC buddies :)</p>
I give a lot of advice to other parents just because I’m an obsessive researcher. Plus I have the time to do it.</p>