<p>In this world there are well-intentioned people...having said that if you have smart kids and somebody ask you any of the questions below what will you answer. I have a friend with a super smart kid and I feel bad when other people ask her about how her kid is doing in college and after the person informs them they ask such inappropriate questions. Sometimes I feel that people want to be funny but they are out of place asking such questions. What do you think she should answers to the following silly questions? This lady and her H are both professionals, successful and intelligent too...as well as their children. Probably many of you had experienced this situation...so explain how would you react or answer></p>
<p>-Are you intelligent too?
-Are you smart like your D or S?<br>
-Which of you (H or W) are responsible for your kid smart or intelligence?
-Does anyone know whether D or S intelligence comes from his or her Dad or Mom?
-Probably you are smart too.</p>
<p>If your friends are smart professionals, they can probably figure out how to answer the questions. People ask stupid questions all the time. You just deal with it. You just respond that you are proud of your kid, that he/she has traits from both parents and that you have tried to make the most of yourself. Whatever.</p>
<p>This one’s easy. I’d just respond as follows:</p>
<p>-Are you intelligent too?
---- Of course - highly intelligent!
-Are you smart like your D or S?
---- Certainly - where do you think they got it from?
-Which of you (H or W) are responsible for your kid smart or intelligence?
---- Me of course but luckily they got their looks from their mother.
-Does anyone know whether D or S intelligence comes from his or her Dad or Mom?
---- Yes, we know.
-Probably you are smart too.
---- There’s no probably about it.</p>
<p>Of course, the W can respond with about the same responses. When people ask inappropriate questions I feel I can answer in any way I want and unless they’re really stupid they should get the idea that they’re not being taken seriously pretty quickly.</p>
<p>She seems to be understanding and classy, but it bothers me that some adults behave in that way. In one occasion was in the “Nail” salon and the question was asked by an uneducated employee…however, in another occasion was a mutual friend… and she answered as emeraldkity4 suggested.</p>
<p>No ego involved…DD is really smart, born that way.
With that said, DD was encouraged to recognize that some people will be smarter, others will not be as smart as her, now…how are you going to treat them?</p>
<p>When people ask those types of questions, it probably is meant as a compliment with no offense intended. The best way to handle it is with a sense of humor as demonstrated by ucsd<em>ucla</em>dad.</p>
<p>No, Pizza, that’s too reasonable. Instead, what you should do is arch one eyebrow, straighten your back, and say in your best upper-class British accent, “Hwell, my deah, it comes from thousands of *hyahs<a href=“years”>/i</a> of genteel breeding.” Then snap your fingers imperiously and order them to fetch you some sweet tea.</p>
<p>Um well- consider context- they probably were genuinely curious.</p>
<p>People ask questions all the time to things that might be obvious to others- it could be worse- they could be asking " why are your kids so ugly/stupid?"</p>
<p>I figure there is a short-list of attributes that everyone would hope to see in their children: smart, tall or strong, pretty, healthy, popular. </p>
<p>If someone compliments my family on one of that list, I say “thanks!” since it was meant as a compliment. Then I look at them, mentally guess which on the list is a strong attribute of their family, and move the conversation into their strength area so I can return a compliment. </p>
<p>Other times I’ve said, “Yes they’re smart and that’s helpful. I’m prouder that they are also honest and kind.” At that point, most everybody is on the same page. Regardless of intelligence, most everyone wants their kids to be honest and kind.</p>
<p>Sometimes it helps to realize a smart parent is bringing this onto him/herself. Break apart this sentence you wrote about your friend. Bolding is mine, to show how the questioned parent might have steered the conversation into troubled waters
</p>
<p>When someone asks me “how is X doing in college” I have a wide range of ways to answer that, from “he’s happy and thriving” to “he made Deans List and is applying for an exclusive scholarship.” If I blather on about my kid’s achievements like the second example there, I am inviting subsequent questions along the same lines. </p>
<p>Said more simply: if you boast, expect to eat toast.</p>
<p>My response is “Oh, it’s not me, my mother tells me intelligence skips a generation.” The person asking either laughs uncomfortably or says nothing.</p>
<p>I would just look at them, but honestly, when coworkers hear about my daughter’s accomplishments (I teach at the same high school she attends) they tend to make comments like “It makes sense because she is your daughter.”</p>
<p>Now one of my baby sisters told me that my daughter’s brains must have come from my husband. :)</p>
<p>I think people–particularly at the nail salon–are just making conversation. They don’t mean anything by it.</p>
<p>My kids are talented performers, and it’s not uncommon for people to ask me, “So, do you sing, too?” As it happens, I do, but there are plenty of musical theater parents who say, “Who, me? Heavens no. I can’t carry a tune! I have no idea where he gets it!” </p>
<p>Better the questions OP poses than the comment made to a mom I know. This mom is a waitress at a local eatery, and a customer was asking about her D, who is a senior. The mom told her about her D’s acceptances at several very good art schools - and was excited to add that her D had received scholarship offers that would make it affordable. The customer said something that intimated that her D was so fortunate to have been so successful with a mom who is “just a waitress.” OUCH.</p>
<p>If somebody asked me that and I were a parent I’d say, "Intelligence is passed on through polygenic inheritance so there is no guarantee. I was known as Village Idiot in my college days though. " Nobody asks my parents anything though…</p>
<p>These questions are fairly nice compared to a few others that people are asking me here on a regular basis. I do not live in my home country and where I come from it is considered rude to ask details about my husband’s income and my weight (I’m over-weight). Actually, I much more prefer questions about S’s academic performance. </p>
<p>Usually I answer by telling them that S is very happy at his college. Thereafter I immediately zoom in on how much he is appreciating social studies now that he is getting them taught in a true academic way. Social studies do not interest people here one bit. The hard sciences do, but by taking the social studies route I’m managing pretty well to escape further questions. </p>
<p>Note: In his HS social studies were just about memorization and I’m convinced that the parents of his (HS social studies) teachers have never been asked questions about the intelligence of their children.</p>
The person asking either laughs uncomfortably or says nothing.</p>
" Nobody asks my parents anything though…</p>