My mum says yea, I think it’s too braggy and try-hard. Like she thinks I should go tell dean and my college guidance counselor thanks and where I got in. and give them small gift or send flower arrangement
If you give a gift, it should be for their help in helping you apply to college at all, not just if you got into an elite school. My kids didn’t do that, because I didn’t think their GC’s went over and above their normal job duties for them.
I would not. Perhaps buy the folks who wrote recs a coffee mug from your new school with a thank you note.
It depends on the length of the relationship. Guidance counselor not much relationship, maybe a sticker. Others have been there for 4 years or more, and they’ll get something. The only other factor is, do you have other children heading into the pipeline. It’s never a bad idea to grease the wheels going in to round 2.
How about a nice note to them.
Agree, the gift should be for their help and support – not a reward for your getting into an elite college. My kids wrote a nice note to the guidance counselor and the recommenders and we gave each a token gift (our HS limits teacher gifts to $20 which we abide by).
I’d go with a note also - to the GC and teachers who wrote recs for you. D did that after they wrote the recs but before results came in. She also made some kind of baked goods for them but our school is cooler about that kind of thing than most.
Also…the note should be written regardless of the college you get accepted to attend. There shouldn’t be a bonus because it’s an elite college. Those counselors do the same work for everyone.
Agreed…if you do it, it should be a thank you for their help…it shouldn’t have anything to do with what college you did/didn’t get into.
My kids wrote thank you notes and included a gift card for their teachers and counselors that wrote letters of recommendation for them.
We gave a gift just before Winter break to the GC and each teacher that wrote recommendations. At that point all the apps were done, but we didn’t know all the results yet, so we just wanted to say thanks for their effort regardless of the outcome. And with it being Christmas, it was a gift giving time anyway, so my daughter liked that doing so just blended in more.
Saying thank you is always a good thing in any form - whether through a note, gift card or gift. It is nice for effort to be acknowledged.
We got to know my older daughter’s GC very well. We had her over for a holiday dinner before the ED result. We also gave her a small gift. We didn’t want our “thank-you” tied to her ED outcome.
Sending a thank you note with the information on where you were accepted and where you will be attending should be adequate for most and is a nice thing to do.
If they spent a ton of time with you, a small gift at the end of the year could be nice but is definitely not expected or customary at most high schools. If it is part of your school’s culture, then that’s different.
Once my D decided where to attend, we bought a glass beer stein from the school for each person who wrote a recommendation and filled each with homemade fudge.
This may be a dumb question, will my counselor know where I got in before I tell anyone at school? My school never does the senior accepted/matriculate lists like other high schools. I actually was never sure how other schools compile those lists - is it just naviance or parchment or common app compiling those for the counselor? Or maybe some schools have seniors fill out surveys in May?
@lizzy1234 Not a dumb question, technically they shouldn’t, but they could know if they have a relationship with college advisors at certain schools. So they may know, but obviously wouldn’t be sharing that info with anyone.
In terms of collecting data, my students had to do a couple of those things. They had to input and maintain Naviance throughout the process, and finish that off by submitting the results from each school they had applied to (accepted/denied/WL). Then they also completed a senior survey that they signed (it was a printout of their Naviance among other questions) then met with a GC to verify and close things out. Seniors have to have all this done to participate in senior events. They put a lot of effort into maintaining accurate data.
Both kids gave the GC and teachers who wrote their LORs a gift card and note. Younger D also bought the GC a very small banner of the school she chose… this became a tradition…his office was decorated with “stuff” from his student’s final decisions.
No we never even considered this. Never heard of anyone giving a gift or writing a note to GC or faculty. They are doing their jobs. I agree it is too “try hard.”
That said, a conversation in the hallway can happen where you casually thank the teacher for the letter, but that should have happened right after the recommendation and not be connected to admission.
Recommendations are helpful but you got yourself in 
There is no need to tell anyone where you got in, unless asked. It sounds like you want people to know and that is fine, go ahead and tell people verbally.
At our kids’ boarding school, it’s a tradition after all the acceptances are in and after everyone has decided on a college for students to thank their college counselors and teachers who wrote letters of recommendation. Although it may be part of their job, it’s somewhat of a thankless job for teachers esp the ones who get asked time and time again and eats up their time with their family. Most students write a handwritten thank you and provide a small gift. In my student’s case, she gave a small gift card to a local ice cream and chocolate shop.
Eventually your school counselor WILL know because the high school will be required to send a final transcript to the school where you matriculate.
But back to the question on the thread. We didn’t give gifts because our kid got accepted to any college. At the end of senior year, our kids wrote a note and gave a small gift to the teachers who helped them most during high school.
In our case, that didn’t include the school guidance folks…at all…who told both of our kids NOT to apply where they both got their bachelors degrees.
At my high school graduation I handed a thank you card to 3 teachers who had been very helpful to me throughout my time there. 2 of them had written my rec letters but the other was also important to me. I probably would’ve done that regardless of where I got in.
No letter for the college counselor because she didn’t do anything special for me and actually got my hopes up for a school that I later learned was very competitive.