<p>My child applied to 5 schools and I assume will be accepted to at least one. But, what if all schools are rejections? My husband and I are ok with this outcome but I am worried about how this will affect my daughter. She is only in 6th grade and it just seems like a lot of pressure and possible disappointment. How is everyone else planning to soften the blow in case of bad news on March 10th?</p>
<p>If you’re ok with the outcome of zero acceptances, then you must have a school that works for her already, right? So in the next month discuss how the schools she’s applied to are all options equal to whatever the status quo is. This way if shes not accepted to any, the status quo is not a reject default but a viable alternative equal to the others.</p>
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<li><p>We talk a lot about our LPS and have kept it on the table as a real option. Of course this is easier to do if you have great public options and a lot harder if your local schools are weak.</p></li>
<li><p>We talk about how a lot of great kids will be rejected from schools, and that’s it’s not a reflection on them personally. We’ve couched it mostly in terms of other kids our kid knows who are applying to schools. E.g., “Wow, Justin is applying to St. Grottlesex? That’s a tough school to get into. He’s a great kid so if he doesn’t go there I’m sure he’ll do well at Local Public HS” or “Emily is aiming for Exover. She’s a really strong student but it’s a good thing she also applied to Nice Comfy Academy because Exover admissions are a crapshoot.”</p></li>
<li><p>We encouraged our child to apply to at least one school that’s close to a sure bet. Even if it’s the only one to which they’re admitted they can hold their head high and say they had options and CHOSE the LPS.</p></li>
<li><p>If our child is turned down by schools we’ll try to turn it into a learning experience - we all have disappointments in life, but after taking a little time to wallow we can pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off and go out and make something great out of what we do have.</p></li>
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<p>I think if your daughter is turned down by every school it will be okay, even healthy to let her express her disappointment and show her that you’re disappointed too, as long as it’s clear you’re disappointed FOR her, not IN her.</p>
<p>It will be tough if my son is turned down from every school. We’ll keep in mind that with every door that closes another one will open. Everything is ment to be and after the sting one usually finds the reasons why things happen the way they do.</p>
<p>Your daughter will look to you for a reaction. If you are disappointed, she will be also. We generally used the “it’s their loss” reaction for my daughter when she was waitlisted at a school she really liked. Then we did the math and realized that they only accepted about 15 boarders (small class, half was day). At the end of the day, her anger had subsided greatly. I would stress the “win-win” attitude overall. Sure, bs is a great opportunity, but if she doesn’t get in, you get to have her at home.
zp</p>
<p>If rejected, her reaction will probably be tied to the reasons you gave FOR applying to these schools. “it is a better school for someone as smart as you, you will be with kids just like you, it will help you get into a great college, etc” Being only a 6th grader she might be confused as to why you are telling her that her current school suddenly fulfills all of the same criteria.</p>
<p>Unless she has somehow convinced herself that her future happiness is dependent upon a prep school then after a few moments of sadness, she will most likely move on.</p>
<p>Sue22 - very well said.</p>
<p>For the reasons Kajon stated, I think it’s important before March 10th to find at least one good thing about staying at home that the student won’t have at bs. One good thing is staying with family, though they often don’t realize how much they’re going to miss it until they’re gone. But even in a mediocre school, there’s bound to be one or two good things–for us it was one very successful sports team that our son would have been an integral part of. Lots of dinner time conversations mentioned, “Well, if you don’t end up going to boarding school, you’ll be able to ____________”</p>
<p>I think that bringing home the reality of just how difficult it is to get in to some of these schools and how many exceptional students are turned down also helps to either soften the blow or make an accepted student feel grateful and not arrogant about his or her acceptance.</p>
<p>I’m not worried about my son. There are greater disappointments in life ahead for him. Not getting into boarding schools should not be traumatic. He has a great default option. Our greatest worry would be having to visit, tour, interview and apply to even more schools next year.</p>
<p>There is a huge difference in maturity between 6th grade and 8th grade, though.</p>
<p>I remember March 10, 2010. I was ready to support my son in any disappointments with some “well, we were just trying to create choices and opportunities,” if you don’t get in you still have PS which is in the top 100 etc. But boy, when he started crying…waterworks (and he is not a crier), it was hard.</p>
<p>It has worked out however in the long run. In the short run he got a couple rejections and WLs before he got that acceptance and that acceptance made a big difference,</p>