<p>QM–I do think my kids know their address but they were surprisingly old (mid-late teens) when I had to teach them how to mail a letter. I mean where to put the outgoing address, where to put the return address, where to put the stamp. Of course it’s all due to my poor parenting. And while I’m at it, I’ll confess that I was totally my kids’ secretary for college applications. For one thing, I’m very good at it. I also didn’t see the benefit of having them sit and type in personal info repeatedly. I also <shudder> proofread their essays and <horrors!> helped them put together a list of schools to apply to. Shame on me, I guess.</horrors!></shudder></p>
<p>Absolutely! I was very proud to help my son last year when he applied to 13 schools. He was too busy with three sports, AP classes and just enjoying his senior year. He decided on schools and did the essays. The rest is purely administrative.</p>
<p>I am looking forward to doing the same for my daughter. Senior year should be fun and not knee deep in forms in my opinion. </p>
<p>In reality with the crazy cost of college today, it is worth my time to ensure everything is in and my child is seen in the best possible light.</p>
<p>Depends on the kid. My oldest did it all herself - I merely entered our credit card information on the Common App. Barely heard a peep out of her. </p>
<p>My second (going through the process right now) needed a little more help. She has ADD and all of the details were very hard for her. She was extremely organized, but (as is her tendency) always seemed to run out of time. Still, she really did most of the paperwork; I did most of the sending of test scores. </p>
<p>It’s a complicated process, particularly if you’re applying to 10 or 15 or 20 schools, like kids seem to these days. I think it’s a special kid who doesn’t at least need some assistance with it.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Why do kids apply to so many schools? I don’t get it. Perhaps they enjoy bragging about how many schools accepted them. My D applied to 5 colleges and was accepted at all of them. Even though most of her peers were applying to at least a dozen, she didn’t see the sense in doing that. She also sought out and applied for scholarships on her own. She ended up accepting a full merit scholarship.</p>
<p>She was one of those kids who handled the entire college application process on her own. I offered to help once or twice, but she told me she could do it herself.</p>
<p>@umd, the kids I know who are applying to 10+ schools fall into two camps: those who have a weakness (usually not a great ACT score) and are fishing for an admit slightly beyond their stats, and those who are on the hunt for merit or need-based aid.</p>
<p>I’ve not been successful in persuading my S that he may want to apply to more than the current 5 on his list because he’s in the latter camp if he’s going anywhere other than the in-state safety. </p>
<p>My administrative assistant role has been primarily coming up with “the list.” S had only a vague idea of what he wanted in a college and most of his pre-visit criteria was abandoned. I’ve done all of the research that resulted in a list of about 20 or so schools for him to consider, 9 of which we visited. I also put together a spreadsheet of deadlines and application requirements for the schools under consideration. After that, it’s been all up to him. He let me read his common app essay and I’ve now twice gone to his laptop with my credit card to pay fees. I’ve also done a good bit of “you don’t have much more time” nagging, but to no avail.</p>
<p>“Why do kids apply to so many schools?”
When you are a top student from a middle class family and are looking for lots of merit $$ , AND a good fit, which may involve the type of programs you are interested in, you have to cast a wider net. West coast kids, in particular, have very few great private colleges to apply to, relative to the population here, that also offer merit $, or a reasonable chance of acceptance, and have to look farther afield than kids from the EC.
Your D was lucky. Her results may not reflect the typical experience students may have when seeking out colleges that a family can afford AND are a good fit too.</p>
<p>There is a school of thought that says that if you get accepted to every college you applied to, you maybe didn’t shoot high enough. Nothing wrong with having a reach or two, as long as there is a safety or two.</p>
<p>^^</p>
<p>My D was accepted at her reach school which was CMU.</p>
<p>Congraulations to your D. I’m glad her strategy worked for her.</p>
<p>I think some of what drives a higher number of apps is the capriciousness of admissions at top-ranked places. We’ve seen kids rejected at Cornell and accepted at Penn; rejected at William and Mary but accepted at Yale. You just never know.</p>
<p>Obviously these were kids with competitive stats, not “what the heck” applicants. I wouldn’t encourage a kid to apply way above his/her stats.</p>
<p>Not only was I admin for my D last year, I am providing admin support for a friend’s kid this year (yeah a glutton for punishment). My D had a weird h.s. program, some geographic preferences and needed both merit and FA so we had to cast our net wide as noted above. I also helped make her bed the last time I dropped her off as she was not feeling well and “Mama taking care of her” helped. This is what it means to us to be family; both she and H would do the same for me. YMMV.</p>
<p>No, she won’t let me do that. And she is away at boarding school.</p>
<p>I have a look at the apps before they are submitted over breaks, but that is it.
She does not let me have her log-ins and passwords, either.
She gets a minimal amount of help from the school’s GC, so that is something.
It is her baby, for better or for worse.</p>
<p>umdclass80: You seem to have a high stat kid. My D applied to 4 schools, was accepted to all 4 and got good merit awards. We could be confident because of the combination of her stats and the schools she was applying to. No need to cover any more bases.</p>
<p>My S is different. Great kid but the stats aren’t as good. Which schools will offer the best merit awards? Maybe he wants to continue his sport in college? Our crystal ball isn’t nearly as clear with him. He has applied to 12 schools. Have to cover more bases in his situation.</p>
<p>I am the college application admin for both my kids. It is really the only area they let me be involved in. They are both pretty self sufficient. I enjoy helping out.</p>
<p>I am also ‘guilty as charged’ and not remorseful at all. My S wrote the essays, filled in a few personality forms and I did the rest. (Even his HS GC told all the new senior parents to get ready for a second job; his college prep/IB private school required a minimum of 5 applications.) </p>
<p>Why did I help? 1. He’s ADD, disorganized and a procrastinator. 2. My HS senior year was the most fun year of my life and I wanted him to have a similar experience b/c I knew what was coming in college. To his credit, he has no shame in telling others that he wouldn’t be attending his dream school were it not for his mom.</p>
<p>He just received his formal diagnosis for ADHD (though he’s been informally diagnosed since preschool) and can now benefit from the Disability Services available at college (though in hindsight, this should have been done over the summer). College academics have been a big wake-up call for him and I bite my tongue to not say, ‘I told you so!’. Thankfully, he FINALLY realizes that he needs to learn time management, reading and organizational skills, especially as he pursues a STEM career.</p>
<p>Until then, I’m still helping without guilt. However, I’m no longing ‘doing’ but ‘reminding.’ I sent an 11 item ‘To Do’ list email last night. Today I texted, “# 12 when you’re a monied man, remember to hire two people: a secretary for yourself and a maid for your Mom.” (Now that he’s at college, I’m having to do his previous chores, like laundry, vacuuming, etc., yuck!)</p>
<p>I’ve been both Mom and Dad since his Dad/my husband died 16 years ago and I strongly subscribe to the mantra of ‘the best lessons learned are those learned the hard way’. And, he’s learned a lot of hard lessons. However, I WILL step in before he does something that could permanently harm his health, safety or future career. Isn’t that the job of parents?</p>
<p>Times have drastically changed since I applied to colleges and the competition for the more desired schools is much more fierce. Personally, I believe parents of seniors (especially those who are swamped with IB and AP classwork and fulfilling those needed EC’s) should help with the secretarial work burden of applying to so many colleges. JMO…</p>
<p>I’m doing what I can. GC who wasn’t very good to begin with was fired, and his last day was a week or two ago. I think he was having kids write their own rec letters for him to sign. DD works fairly closely with a VP who is writing hers. Kiddo understands how dysfunctional her public school is in a lot of ways, so I am pretty sure she will bird dog the aspects that the school is supposed to do.</p>
<p>I like to think of myself as a concierge.</p>
<p>^^ very classy!! I like it!</p>
<p>Oldfort…you need to make that a College Concierge. This is ‘CC’ you know… ;)</p>
<p>I took charge of the list of deadlines. It is easier now for DS than it was 4 years ago when DD applied. School district is using Naviance for admissions. It feels like everything is done electronically.</p>
<p>I don’t generally get to read DS’s school assignments but GC told the seniors the importance of having people proof your essays. GC suggested showing essays to himself, an English teacher, and a parent. DS figures a parent is good enough. I am getting a new insight into DS’s mind - what he thinks about, what he is interested in, what has meant the most to him. I am really enjoying reading the essays. I thought that DS and I talked a fair amount, but I am learning more about him.</p>
<p>Two years and many miles away I still help when I can, why not?</p>
<p>I did a fair amount of D’s admin work when she was applying. It was mostly stuff that a trained monkey could do: I was the Addresser of Envelopes, the Runner to the Post Office, the Maker of Copies, and most important, the Keeper of the Excel Spreadsheet of Deadlines (a technique I highly recommend). I mean, it’s not as if I wrote her essays for her! The brainwork stuff was entirely hers. </p>
<p>And I didn’t feel bad about it at all. Where is it written that the student must personally lick every last envelope? Here’s how I looked at it: If my DH were working on a big, complicated, long-running, stressful project – I would feel like a bad wife if I didn’t pitch in to help with the low-skill stuff. I don’t see a thing in the world wrong with that.</p>