As forum champion I have been asked to post this article. Feel free to comment.
https://www.collegeconfidential.com/articles/ask-dean-handling-dorm-decor-roommates-come-different-financial-worlds/
I don’t know how much we overbought with our first child.
The mini fridge (3ft high) ended up at the Salvation Army.
Mom can tell the “Ethan Allan Mom” that the decor plans were already finalized prior to the email.
If it doesn’t fit in a duffle bag, it ain’t going in the room.
It’s a long time ago now, but my kid’s suite had the opposite problem. The wealthiest parents were willing to buy a lot of nice stuff without asking anyone else to contribute, but another roommate’s parents got very angry about it because they couldn’t afford to do the same.
One thing to say upfront is that, having talked to more experienced parents, you know it works out better if each roommate buys his own stuff. They probably won’t live together next year and it’s even possible that they won’t make it through the year. Dividing up things at the end of the year or sooner just adds another source of friction.Indeed, sharing things like a fridge or microwave can also cause arguments. So, roommate is free to buy whatever he wants to use himself and John will do the same.
I remember this article because I was dorm shopping at the time! It was posted in “Ask The Dean Topics.”
We let the boys figure it out. We bought essentials, a microwave, and a $20 stick vacuum. And my son brought stuff from home, so there was no need for new TV’s etc.
I thought the dean’s answer was excellent.
But I would point out that if your kid has a coffee habit, in the long run, a Keurig will probably save money over buying coffee at Starbucks or the campus coffee shop. Most likely, my son will be taking my Nespresso machine to college in the fall. Even at 80 cents a capsule (Nespresso is pricier than Keurig), it will save money over buying coffee at the coffee and shop. And I get a new Nespresso machine, so win/win. 
My kid’s college made a point of matching economic background of freshman roommates. Both my kids had/have roommates who were set-up similarly as them.
That may be easier on the kids short term, but it sets up a class-based system that has serious long-term ramifications. So reading that statement made me cringe – are there universities that have rich-kid dorm floors and poor-kid floors? How about entirely different dorms? Full payers in one dorm, Pell grant recipients off in another? And what are the amenities like in each dorm? As a parent, do you really want to send your kid off to a college that is segregated by wealth? Would you feel differently depending on whether you are the full-pay parent or the parent of limited means?
Some time ago, a poster claimed that at least one private university did the opposite, by preferring to match a non-FA student with an FA student as frosh roommates (the school had about half non-FA students, and FA students could still be fairly high income, but the presumed intention was to increase social contact across SES classes).
At residential colleges where different dorms cost different prices, there could be self-selection that correlates to SES into different dorms. But then there could also be self-selection that correlates to SES (or other demographic factors) as students move to off-campus housing in subsequent years or join social or extracurricular organizations (including fraternities and sororities).
I attended a private college that assigned students to dorms based on wealth. The dorms for the kids from wealthier families were much better. It was horrible to realize that everyone on campus knew who was a Pell recipient as soon as they found out where you lived. Our classes were a mix, so we all ended up socializing anyway. I participated in the things I could afford, and there were plenty of opportunities.
It wasn’t my first experience meeting kids whose families had more, and I suspect that it wasn’t the first time my friends from wealthier families had encountered people whom had less. We were well into the first semester before I realized how wealthy some of the families were. I don’t think the issues come from difference in circumstances but a difference in personality and behavior. It’s good to be exposed to people from different backgrounds. I think colleges should encourage it.
My daughter shared her dorm with a wealthy girl and her decor wasn’t any more elaborate then my daughter’s…guess it depends on the person?
Assigned, or self-selected (i.e. students from poor families chose the cheaper ones to save money)?
However, colleges, even those with skewed SES distributions, can often be more SES-diverse than the high schools and general local communities that the students came from. So, for some students, college may lead to greater social* interaction with those from other SES backgrounds.
*As opposed to transactional, such as high SES people interacting with low SES retail and restaurant workers, or low SES people interacting with high SES physicians and lawyers, in the course of doing “business”.
OMG people… who cares about the finances, how ridiculous some of this is for a dorm room!
Sorry to disappoint you, too many teens, but $$$ can play a big factor.
I’ve post d this before, so old timers can skip. I was roomed with a scholarship student. Within weeks, my scarves were taken. Then, my typewriter was taken, and the case filled with rocks. When my checkbook was vandalized, the city police were called in. I had the worst first semester ever, and it effected my grades. (Don’t even get me started with all the football,players she snuck into our room, and how often I slept on the floor in others’s rooms).
In contrast, my son first roomed with a boy on full financial,aid. When I got them a window a/c, roomie was thrilled and installled it with me. He was also happy with the small,couch. Four years later, even his parents were thankful. Quite a difference.
My cousin is an interior decorator. Her kids’ dorms have never been expensively done but boy have they all been beautiful. I always felt a little sorry for the roommates!! Though, I can see D19 would kill me if I tried to help make her dorm room “too fancy”…she likes the bohemian look.
@toomanyteens , did you read the article linked in the first post? I already see this in my D’s high school - some parents just don’t seem to comprehend that not every parent either can or wants to buy everything that opens and shuts for their kids, and it’s annoying when they assume everyone else can or will too. Having myself been a scholarship kid in a private school growing up, i am quite sensitive to this topic.
My daughter and her roommate come from very different financial backgrounds. It was not an issue at all. They both brought their own stuff. Mine got the rug because we found a company going out of business the day of drop off. They didn’t want a refrigerator (both live 2000plus miles from school). I think they split the cost of an electric tea pot. Both used own artwork to decorate walls…a project they did together in first weeks of school. When we send care packages we always send duplicates for roomie. She is like a daughter to us as well. We are extremely grateful that our daughter has a kind and caring room mate. That is priceless.
I laughed out loud at the crockpot. These are kids in a dorm!
My daughter was paired with a roommate from a similar financial background, and it seemed to be the norm at her college. (Everyone paid the same housing cost, so it wasn’t a matter of tiered housing.) The roommate bought a fridge. My daughter brought nothing, as far as I remember. They used the fridge for their vitamins and the fruit they brought back from the dining halls. There was literally no room for anything else.
My son’s roommate was from a less privileged background, but both were on merit scholarships, so maybe that’s why the school paired them. His roommate contributed the most amazing thing, a doorstop with treads that held open the heavy self-locking doors so that they could move in without having to use their keys. My son contributed Lysol wipes.
Geez, pairing kids based on socio-economic status makes me cringe. And I’m not usually sensitive to that type of thing. I think kids should bring what they want. It really doesn’t matter where they are from but what they need. For some, these expenses are not possible. Kids who don’t have a lot know this and realize it’s more important to be there than have a Keurig. More importantly, don’t bring too much.
It seems I had different relationships with my roommates than many of the other posters in this thread. My roommates and I didn’t discuss our parent’s wealth or parent’s SES status, so I rarely had more than a vague idea about whether their parents were wealthy or not. For example, my freshman roommate had a beater car. It’s been my experience that some parents who on the verge of bankruptcy buy their teens cars, so while the car probably means his parents weren’t very poor, I wouldn’t assume it means his parents were wealthy. I have no idea if parents wealth/SES had any influence on roommate matching. As I recall, RAs had control of freshman roommate selections, rather than the university. The only decor I bought for the room was shelves. Given the size of the room it would have been silly to bring things like a TV, Xbox, microwave, or toaster oven. I’m not aware of anyone in the entire dorm who brought these things for their freshman room. Instead there was a common area with many of these things.
As long as someone brings a pineapple, it will all work out.