In other words, did you as a parent secretly or non-secretly want to see your kid attend perhaps another college he got into or could have but decided not to go or decided not to even apply than the school your kid ultimately chose to attend? Why?
Grinnell. We parents loved loved loved it. We visited it multiple times with both our kids, but as much as they liked it, it wasn’t “the one” for them. If I got to go back to college as a middle aged mom, it would be to Grinnell.
Sometimes I wish D was able to go to my alma mater. She got in, and while it was her top choice, it wasn’t like she’d been dreaming to go there for years. In the end, she got better merit offers from other schools. She knew it would be a financial stretch for us to go to my alma mater (she is oldest of four) so she decided it wasn’t worth the extra cost. There wasn’t a clear front runner from her remaining choices tho, so until she made her decision, I was secretly feeling guilty we hadn’t saved enough for her to be able to go to my alma mater. At the same time, I was/am annoyed at the ridiculous COA knowing she could get a similar education elsewhere for less. She has never expressed any doubt or regret with her choice and so far is totally happy. However, I sometimes think about “what could have been” had she been able to attend my alma mater.
Exactly want @4kids4us said. 30 plus years ago when us parents went to college the costs of OOS publics and private were much more affordable than they are today. There was no need for OOS publics to entice applicants through “merit aid”–not sure if that lingo even existed back then.
The reason I hope my son never figures out who I am on CC is that I have stated in a couple of places that I feel quite wistful over the fact that he won’t go to any of the wonderful women’s colleges that are out there. I understand why he won’t and I honor his decision, but I do feel that regret.
However, this is all my fault for not having any more children. If I had other kids in the pipeline for college decisions maybe I wouldn’t be so full of FOMO.
DS is going to a wonderful school that fits him and offers a top notch education for his interests.
That said… he didn’t even seriously consider the offer from the London School of Economics, which gave him an unconditional offer to study something I think is 100% aligned with his long term interests and would be an amazing experience overall. And as a parent, the fact that LSE would save us $100k+ versus the school he’s going to attend is also tempting (but not the major factor - there are many good places he could have gone for a lot lower cost than where he’s going.)
I comfort myself with the fact that he’ll be closer to visit and is less likely to marry an English girl and stay in England permanently. After all, I completely understand the lure of the foreign women since I was that foreign girl for my DH who met me when he was on an assignment from his British company… 
Yes.
DD2016 choose her school, Marquette, because it offered a specific major (it did not offer her 2nd choice major, the one I thought she would likely end up in…). As we close out her sophomore year. She loves her school, but has indeed changed her major! Fortunately, this is the right school for her in all other respects. She has selected another major that suits her and all will be fine. From the schools that accepted her, I wish she had chosen The University of Pittsburgh; Dad wishes she had selected Purdue; little sister thinks elder sister is crazy for willing going to school in “the arctic”.
DD2018 has selected Texas A&M. I don’t like A&M, not because it isn’t a great school, with great academics and school spirit/traditions, but simply because of it’s aesthetics (I think it looks like a state penitentiary) and I think it is too big! From the schools that accepted her, I wish that she had chosen Loyola Chicago or University of Colorado-Boulder; Dad is happy with the in-state tuition; elder sister thinks it is a perfect match for her little sister!
Alas, it is not my life!
Several years ago D1 was choosing between 2 schools–my alma mater (a state school OOS), or our state flagship. Price-wise they were the same. I knew in my heart that she’d be happier at our state flagship than my alma mater, and I gently nudged her in that direction, but she chose my alma mater which was a reach for her and she didn’t think she’d get in. She was absolutely miserable there, fell into a deep depression, took summer and fall semesters abroad, and graduated in 3 1/2 years just to get out. I’ve always felt sad that she didn’t have the college experience I’d hoped she’d have.
I wish my oldest had gone to Susquehanna instead of UT-Austin, but he wanted to study engineering, which SU didn’t offer. I often wonder if his mental illness would have been so severe if he hadn’t been at such a big school so far away from home.
I was very happy when our youngest decided to go to SU, and it has indeed been a great fit for her.
Never in a million years would have guessed we’d have one kid going to the American University of Beirut, ha. It looks like a beautiful campus, and I’ll get to check it out in June.
Yes, I did. The school I would have picked had an absolutely fabulous art department, and I knew, somehow, the the kid was going to wind up doing some art. (she will finish a minor, but only because she decided too late and didn’t have the time to finish it as a major).
I’m a little wistful, too. D got into 12 of 12, some big 10 (UIUC, Minn, Indiana, Nebraska), some smallish LACs, some Catholic universities. She is smitten with U of Iowa (it is a lovely, happy place), or USan Diego (lovely weather, surfing!). But I grieve St. Olaf and Denison–just think she would get a more intense academic experience and closer community. On the plus side, her favorites gave her more money!
My all-time favorite for ME would be Grinnell–I’d gladly trade my Northwestern undergrad for those cornfields. Really impressed with college visit. D–no way!
“Grinnell. We parents loved loved loved it. We visited it multiple times with both our kids, but as much as they liked it, it wasn’t “the one” for them. If I got to go back to college as a middle aged mom, it would be to Grinnell.”
We were in the same boat. I’m actually very happy with where she’d going and believe it’s a better fit for her than Grinnell, but there’s a part of me that hoped she’d fall in love with Grinnell and that they money part of it would have worked out better than it did. Mostly because it’s an hour away instead of 5 hours away and I liked all the opportunities that come with the huge endowment.
Once it became clear Grinnell was not where she saw herself, I was able to get past it.
The Grinnell posts remind me of our tour of Rice. I loved it - fantastic academics in an atmosphere that seemed like fun summer camp with friendly, smart but not stuck up students - made me want to go back to school there.
Oldest son (big time introvert) viewed it with a little suspicion. “But they’re all so… nice. It’s weird, mom.”
It’s probably for the best that he realized he wasn’t a fit. I can just picture it now, cheerful students asking him to join in their fun activity and him recoiling with a muttered “I’m late for my math study. I have no idea what you want but I’m pretty sure my fees are paid. Please let me go!”
Nope. Both of mine ended up at the parent pick…I listened to what they wanted in a school and found a good value that met what they wanted.
We didn’t have a parent pick, and I didn’t prefer any schools over those my daughters chose.
Thankfully, no regrets with D, she wound up where I hoped she would.
S, however…yes. But the school that would have been better for him cost a lot more so he did what he could.
Maybe Notre Dame. We are Catholic & I love Catholic & Jesuit schools. But our child is beyond delighted with his alma mater–so it doesn’t matter how I feel.
P.S. I wish that I went to the University of California at Santa Barbara–but that’s another thread.
No. We were very happy with both kids’ college choices.
No. Both of my kids picked colleges that turned out to be good choices for them.
My daughter picked the right school for her. That said, the number of times I worked in the fact that she had also gotten into UCSD but turned it down into conversation (because it was more selective than where she ended up, and also is way better known) is a little embarrassing.