Asian parents and SAT scores

Pre-College Issues High School Life
1

<p>So I got a 2160 on my SAT I, and my parents are telling me how I don't have a future and am bad at everything. </p>

<p>This is my dad's scale for SAT scores (And I am not even exaggerating; I am translating this word by word):
2400 - very very good
2300+ - very good
2200+ - average or slightly above average
2100+ - very bad. It's such a low score that you would be ashamed to talk to people about SAT's.
2000+ - the "trash" of society
1900+ - not human. Just an ant.
1800+ - better off dead than alive </p>

<p>I am sorry if this offends anyone, but this is what my parents told me today. I also got an 800 on Math II and 770 on Physics, both of which I took sophomore year. My parents were pretty mad with the 770 and were going to let me retake it, but they told me today that they had given up hope on me because of my SAT score and that retaking it is pointless. My dad also went on and on about how I never study and all I know is "play", which is partially true; I will admit that I haven't put all my efforts into studying for the SAT and have lately spent a lot of time chatting and playing video games. My dad also went on and on about how stupid I am and how I don't have any self-esteem because the kids in our chinese friend circle all have higher SAT scores than I do (2340, 2270, 2290, 2130, no super scores). Then, when I tried to defend myself by saying that I have only been in the US for 4 years, my parents told me about some random girl who only came two years ago and got a 2260 on her SAT. </p>

<p>So, do you guys think this is normal or too strict? I am personally getting suicidal thoughts from this, because my parents are making me feel like s**t, and they are right to some extent; I don't have that many EC's, and I haven't won any important awards, so I guess scores are really all I can work on. I also have been slacking off lately and haven't been putting much effort into my schoolwork. Please advise me on what I should do... Thanks.</p>

2

<p>No matter what your parents say, or what kind of SAT scores you see around CC, a 2160 is phenomenal. A 2160 is in the 98th percentile. </p>

<p>If you were in a room with 50 people, chances are, you would have the highest SAT score.</p>

<p>You parents are wayyy too strict. I feel that kids should be in charge of their own grades and their own business concerning school. You can definitely get into a very good school with those scores, but getting into a ‘top’ school truly depends on many other factors. Ignore what your parents say, a 2160 is a very good score, and an 800 and 770 on the subjects tests are amazing.</p>

<p>Have fun being admitted to almost any college you want.</p>

3

<p>you need support from other sources. ideally, you need to generate a sense of worth and purpose from a set of external ideas or philosophies, from a world view that you slowly embrace which comes to mean a whole lot to you. academic success as being that pillar, center stone to life, etc. (and most importantly the things that tend to come with academic success - praise and respect and so on) isn’t working for you, and it’s actually hurting you (you’re being demeaned for academic failures). So, if you could find something else that was that thing, which you believed in and gave you the support you’re not getting form your parents, then that would be good i think.</p>

<p>For example: imagine you only wanted to live with lions, train them and bond with them. and that was everything to you. then, you might get in correspondence with other lion people, which would respond to your enthusiasm, might help you become involved with them, and so on. And even if your parents disowned you (which they probably would in that scenario :p) you would have all the support and acceptance of the lion people, so you would be okay (i think). of course, the fact of your parents doing that would still be terribly sad and unforgivable.</p>

<p>the question is - how do you discover your passion for lions or whatever it might be? i’m not sure, but freedom and space and time to think and read probably help. For me that thing is something a long the lines of contributing to the human life extension movement, and engaging in some transhumanist ideas, problems, ways to living, at the moment.</p>

<p>Now, it’s possible there’s some hope for your parents and we don’t have to write them off just yet, maybe they can be a part of you life, of what you want to do, support you and be kind. maybe you can even be academically successful in their eyes. But what I’m really wondering is - why are they so critical, why do they feel the way they feel. what’s not going right for them, how have they been victimized by society, if they have, to turn out the way they have.</p>

<p>Maybe you can think about that and a way to approach them, to jog their parental instincts or whatever needs to happen. </p>

<p>Good luck and I’m so sorry you situation is the way it is. I can’t help thinking that this might be a good think to post on Reddit, if you wanted support and strength and kind responses…</p>

4

<p>That list should start at 2000 and go down.</p>

5

<p>i don’t agree :p. to me, very good is usually 2350+ and everything else is sort of useless in terms of how good or how much it matters compared to that top sliver. obviously there are still significant differences though. I mean intelligence only gets us computers and wikipedia and complex machines and everything when it’s at the 2350+ SAT score level I feel.</p>

<p>Otherwise above average intelligence is good for empathy and kindness, and the treating people how you want to be treated sort of thing i think (not necessarily of course), which are all nice things, but it won’t let you change the world.</p>

<p>i’m not meaning to be argumentative or anything, and I got your point. Just sharing my two cents, or unique-individual-perspective as they say, i guess.</p>

6

<p>^Seriously What the ****?</p>

7

<p>I agree with jagurl. WTH, that’s so untrue. So being kind won’t help you change the world? Martin Luther King Jr? He was kind and empathetic, and I think he did a lot more for society today than most of those people with 2350+ SAT scores. Sure, it’s great to have a high SAT score, but that is in no way a totally accurate gauge of intelligence, it just means you test very well.</p>

8

<p>to put it simply … </p>

<p>my sense is that intelligence, as we measure it, is only a truly “species changing” force, as in what got us from tribes to now, whatever now is, in the very upper percentile.</p>

<p>for example, the impact of being in the 98th pecentile of SAT instead of the 50th, is much less significant than of being in the 99.99th compared to the 98th, where “impact” is measured by something like "that individuals potential for scientific accomplishment ('cause potential for scientific accomplishment only starts really growing in the 99th percentile, or at least that is my feeling). </p>

<p>and obivously doing science - all the things that got us from where we were 10k years ago to know - has been the most significant thing increased intelligence has allowed humans to do.</p>

<p>i hope the sense in which the previous post was meant is a bit more clear now :).</p>

9

<p>I seriously have no pressure from my parents, and I could never tell my friends this…but that scale is how I judge myself</p>

10

<p>Wow, I think your Asian parents need to calm down. I don’t think they see that a 2160 is really amazeballz. Do they speak English well? If they’re like second generation Asian parents, then oUUUCHh. If they came to America before you were born, then I think they’re just way too set in on the “5.0GPA 2500SAT perfect child, perfect grades” mindset.</p>

<p>My mom is Asian, and she thinks that the ONLY school out there is UC Davis, considering I got waitlisted, she sort of opened up her mind to other schools.</p>

11

<p>You still have a future, don’t worry. Introduce your parents to some DISNEY MOVIES, namely Lion King. And pull yourself together. Go get a job and a hobby and put down your video games.</p>

12

<p>Bring you parents to my school, where the average SAT score is ~1400. They’ll be in for a nice surprise.</p>

13

<p>I like lanayru’s advice :D!</p>

14

<p>Your parents are wrong. Dead wrong. Your score is a good hundred points higher than mine and I’m third in my sophomore class.</p>

<p>Find support in friends, guidance counselors, wherever you can … find something you’re passionate about. I used to be a cutter (mainly stress-related) and I’m urging you not to stray to that side of life. Find someone to confide in that you can trust. </p>

<p>I’m guessing you’re a junior? Just think, one more year and then you’ll be off to college, away from home, at a college of your choice (with those scores, you’ll do very well.) </p>

<p>@enfieldacademy… I see what you’re getting at. Many life-changing, revolutionary human achievements come from people in that score range. But you should not be so dismissive of everyone else on the planet … me, zzzzzz1027, and everyone else in the 1% who will still lead incredibly happy lives with many noteworthy accomplishments. In the long run, your kindness will leave a longer mark on the people you knew than your SAT score.</p>

15

<p>@enfieldacademy</p>

<p>It is very true that those who revolutionize fields do tend to be super geniuses, but to make a contribution one simply has to meet the intelligence threshold and put in time. So being in the 99th percentile of intelligence likely means you will never win a field metal, but it doesn’t mean you can’t become a professor of mathematics and contribute to the field.</p>

16

<p>I actually agree with enfieldacademy, except I’d say 2300+ instead of 2350+</p>

17

<p>You have good scores, so I think you’ll be fine…try and tell them what the average score colleges look for… You have a higher score than what some colleges expect…:)</p>

18

<p>Assuming that your parents are like most Asian parents, they’re concerned about your scores’ effects on your college applications. At a certain point, all numerical scores don’t really matter because they are simply good enough. I would say 2300+ is extremely good and is really only surpassed by a 2400 (simply because it’s such a rarity).</p>

<p>You and your parents should understand that people with 2350+, 4.0, etc. and no extracurriculars are rejected from HYPMSC colleges all the time. Numbers don’t make you stand out; they merely set you at a certain level. Rather, incredible ECs make you stand out.</p>

19

<p>^ I agree. SAT scores are kind of like a level they use to gauge candidates; as long as you have a 2200+ or so, you’re fine. Top colleges generally look at every aspect of your application anyway, since they receive so many application’s with great scores. I was reading a question and answer session with a Harvard adcom that said a candidate’s IB/AP scores, Subject tests, and course grades/rigor are more heavily considered than their SAT scores anyway.</p>

20

<p>Only 4 years in the US and a 2160? Wow, it’s very good! Look, whatever your parents say, you have a future in front of you. You don’t need to go to Harvard to be successful.
Sometimes I personally feel that the way Asians parent their children is worrying. Kids need to know that it is okay to fail as long as they have tried their best and that they can stand up again. Most successful people today are among the most resilient people. It is as if the Asian parents are sending a message that you are a complete failure if you have failed once.
I’m Asian too, so I am not targeting asians on purpose.</p>