Asian Parents

College Confidential Community
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<p>You resent the generalization of Asian parents?</p>

<p>I'm 100% Asian and my parents have never pressured me to a point where I feel hurt. In fact, they have really never pressured me at all. They love me, I love them, they support me, I in turn willingly and ungrudgingly do my best in school work to please them-- because I really WANT to please them. It's actually not a difficult concept and it certainly is more functional than telling a kid they're not good enough and garbage, and in turn having the kid absolutely LOATHE their parents. </p>

<p>I'm sorry if I made it seem that Asian parents are all awful. I certainly don't believe that. My parents are awesome. I'm sure yours are too. But it seems unfortunately that crappy Asian parents are more prolific. At least, that's what this very thread is about, isn't it?</p>

<p>So, here's a clarification for people who might read this and get the wrong idea: DEFINITELY NOT all Asian parents are "bad", mean, cruel, unloving, super-competitive, uncaring, unbearably prideful people. There are PLENTY of loving Asian parents, mine being one example. </p>

<p>Plus, there are "bad", mean, cruel, unloving, super-competitive, uncaring, unbearably prideful parents of EVERY race. </p>

<p>But as this thread is specifically focused on Asian parents, rants on certain Asian parents are certainly what you are going to get. If you're Asian and you have awesome parents, then you should post here, and remind readers that not all of us suffer and are miserable.</p>

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<p>Well if you love your parents, love them. Good for you. (no sarcasm there)</p>

<p>If you don't love your parents, rather hate them like I do, hate them, and vent on here. That's what the thread is for, to VENT.</p>

<p>It's really easy for one to say, "well, why don't you grow up and start confronting your parents about it to live your own life?"</p>

<p>It's also about the culture.. and the family matters that get things more complicated. It took me so many years just to be able to talk back to them and start doing things to tick them off. I went through series of depression just to get to that level. It's hard. </p>

<p>Not all asian parents are like that, but I found that less they've been living in states, more strict/retarded they are. The stress from being immigrant adds more to this.. controlling their kids issue I think. </p>

<p>Kids like I am.. just hang in there. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. The freedom would be more sweeter once you go to college or something and be on your own (but don't go all crazy there now :P).</p>

<p>Kids who are NOt like I am and have an awesome parents, appreciate what you have, you know :) Isn't is good to know you don't have controlling freak parents like I do, and your parents are cool :)</p>

<p>I just had a big fight with my parents again like a minute ago</p>

<p>So yeah, life is good</p>

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<p>I hope you feel better. :)</p>

<p>If you ever need encouragement, just keep posting on this thread. I'll try to help you out (albeit it will only be motivational words) if I can.</p>

<p>Don't worry! What-- four, five months from now, you'll be GONE and AWAY from your parents. And as you'll be an eighteen year old college student, who says you HAVE to go home for holidays or whatnot? Find some friends (with more understanding parents) and hang out with them and their families over your school breaks. I think it is possible to go a whole school year without really HAVING to see your parents at all. </p>

<p>And unfortunately in your case, that might be the best thing...?</p>

<p>Have a good night, dear. :)</p>

<p>(PS: I'm sorry about being so easy with the "Just confront your parents! Tell them you hate them!" stuff. I know it's not an easy thing to do, especially if you're used to being controlled so strictly. Forgive me for not being as perceptive as I should be on the matter; I know it must extremely hard.)</p>

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<p>my friend's parents won't let her shave her legs! or shape her eyebrows! but the legs... the legs!! why not the legs!??!!???</p>

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<p>that's just hilarious</p>

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<p>astrix, pl do try to understand a girls pt of view, specially in a foreign country.....itz very serious ok!! :p</p>

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<p>but of course i empathize neha. now whatever made you think otherwise :rolleyes:</p>

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<p>i wonder what's gonna happen when WE become parents. will we be "asian" parents? will the stereotype die out or change?</p>

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<p>die!! DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!</p>

<p>FIGHT THE POWER!! YEAH!!!!</p>

<p>-obnoxious, hyper J. :P</p>

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<p>ah come on! im chinese, my parents never pressure me; i pressure myself. my mom actually got mad at me for signing for 10 APs this year. anyhow, why do you want to be bad just to **** them off???? its YOUR life not THEIRS. if i did not, i might have no future, but i would have my rebellion. worth it?</p>

<p>i usually just dont go home until 12 or 2a.m. it got them mad to the poin they gave up. think of more constructive ways to rebel. DONT mess with your GRADE you will be sorry. no grade = no college. do u wanna end up in some 3rd tier or community college? NO we as ASIANS must live up to that name, the name of intelligence. </p>

<p>what is wrong with the stereotype? i for one am PROUD that we asians take up what, 5% of the ENTIRE US population but we're like 30%ish in all the top notch schools (berk 45% asian, HYPSM, ivies...) do you really want to work in a gas station for 5.5/hour? or u rather graduate from MIT and make some dough</p>

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<p>good for you</p>

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<p>xokandykyssesox -</p>

<p>Not taking 10 AP classes is going to jeopardize your future? Riiiggght. I'd be more worried about that obsessive, narrow-minded, grade-whoring attitude you've got going for you.</p>

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<p>well not taking all AP classes is hurting my future right now...</p>

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<p>where in my post did i say not taking 10 APs will jeopardize my future? i am saying bad grade is jeopardizing a person's future. how is that being narrow-minded? that is being realistic. </p>

<p>face it. SURE you can succeed without a solid education, "ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE..." but the stats work AGAINST that. you will have to work 10X harder for success. its like swimming up stream.. you can do it, but WHY put yourself in that situation? if you just go to school, get a good education, you are much likely to do better in life. people who try to argue against this fact is just being ignorant.</p>

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<p>I'm not sorry I messed up my grade for couple of weeks since I brought them all back up :) People have different ways to deal with things, and I don't see any needs to say this is right.. this is wrong.. blah.</p>

<p>I did not start this thread to generalize anyone to any extent. I happen to have parents who are very strict and happen to fit well into "typical Asian parents" stereotypes, and well, I have many friends and know many ppl who are facing similar situations as mine. I thought i'd be fun or nice to start a thread where ppl can come and share their opinions on this and maybe vent a little. Also knowing how smart CCers are, I kinda expected ppl to be respectful when expressing their opinions on this since there's no need to hurt anyone's feelings or call someone ignorant. </p>

<p>Have good parents? Good for you, really.
Have strict parents? Well, I totally feel for you and hope things will get better in the future. It's very difficult having very very strict parents who don't seem to care about what their children think. Some people deal with this very well, some ppl don't. </p>

<p>Lalalalalalala</p>

<p>Life is good, anyways :)</p>

<p>J.</p>

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<p>haha sorry i was a little mad ctrain's response as s/he misunderstood</p>

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<p>Quite the contrary, I understood perfectly.</p>

<p>"my mom actually got mad at me for signing for 10 APs this year... if i did not, i might have no future..."</p>

<p>If you meant something else, perhaps you should have been more careful with your phrasing.</p>

<p>There is a huge difference between doing well in school and devoting so much time and energy to school work that you let the rest of your life pass you by. If you don't understand the difference or think the two are mutually exclusive, then I feel sorry for you.</p>

<p>And by the way, going to community college or a 3rd tier school also is not a condemnation to failure, or a lifetime working for $5.50/hr as a gas-station attendent. Far from it, in fact.</p>

<p>-i'm out-</p>

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<p>haha okay i meant if i did not pressure myself. i just think we all know its true that going to a good school is good but sometimes people want to argue against it. </p>

<p>i did not say "lifetime working for 5.5/hr"</p>

<p>as i did say, "SURE its possible, but it's like swimming upstream"</p>

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<p>dad:"you can't have a bf until you get your ph.d"</p>

<p>Lol, that's hilarious. The truth of the matter though is my parents say the exact same thing, but I know that they know that that's not going to happen. </p>

<p>A comment on someone's reply about not marrying outside one's culture. My parents understand that I'm not going to marry someone Vietnamese because I'm very amercanized and most Viet guys I know have some traditional beliefs I don't believe in, for ex women are inferior to guys (lol what a joke). I definitly can't marry a Japanese guy, they would disown me, and I don't want that to happen.</p>

<p>I love my parents and I appreciate them wanting me to get a good education and to drive myself to excede my potential so I can be successful in the future. Those of you who want to go "bad" miss the point of why your parents push you so hard. Even though you may be tired of them always being on your case, try seeing it from their prespective because they want you to be the best. Also don't talk back to your parents that's very disrespectful in the asian culture so you shouldn't do it.</p>

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<p>yeah, after all said n done, they still love us.... :)
hey my parents are bloody strict too (no bf/clubbin/drinking blah blah....) :p</p>