<p>I wager she'll score a 790 and off herself.</p>
<p>Am I the only one with Asian parents who don't, or at least to me, doesn't seem to care about my grades?</p>
<p>My dad has never even looked at my grades from when I started school way back when, let alone my high school grades. My mom suddenly seems not to care what I do once I started high school.</p>
<p>I even question her, "do you even care anymore," and "what if I go to a JC?"</p>
<p>And she said of course not, and she does care. But I think otherwise. My grades have been slipping ever since junior year, and nobody knows.</p>
<p>I feel no pressure whatsoever to get into an Ivy or even the UC's. My parents probably can't even name all the Ivies.</p>
<p>She says she'll be happy if I'm happy with whatever I do. She even tells me not to do IB, so I didn't (not because of that, but because I really didn't want to).</p>
<p>So, I take 3 AP classes, and she's like why are you even doing so much and don't push yourself too hard. My mom even told not to take ANY AP classes my senior year. But I know better than that and so I ignore her.</p>
<p>But I guess it's because both my older siblings went to a junior college first and then transferred, and none of them even took AP classes or had stellar scores on the SAT.</p>
<p>I've already done so much more than them that this is probably why my parents don't even care even more. I want them to though. I feel deeply disturbed and disappointed when I do bad and feel ashamed of myself even though my parents don't care.</p>
<p>Sigh, I wish parents knew both extremes; they shouldn't be on you every second but should care when it's necessary.</p>
<p>I am extremely moved by this thread. I must say it really touched one of the most "difficult" issues I've had to face during my comparatively short life. But I must say....</p>
<ol>
<li><p>The reason Asian parents push their children so much is because of all of the things they've had to face, in combination with traditional cultural aspects that have been embedded in the Asian mindset for many, many centuries. The Confucian aspects of life--think of the Civil Service examinations and the method officials were chosen during the Song Dynasty in China, for example. Also, through World War II, the Vietnam War, the Cultural Revolution, etc etc etc. Asian parents have taken from those experiences a sense of desperation to do whatever it takes to succeed and get away from those deeply embedded memories.</p></li>
<li><p>Children are seen as a path to the future. Parents see their children as an extension to themselves; a way to correct the mistakes they (parents) made in their own lifetimes and to succeed even more with these new extended lives. Parents wish their own children to succeed, and added with the cultural and historical aspects they lived through, concoct a new formula: the Overachieving Asian. </p></li>
</ol>
<p>These children are pushed very, very hard. They definetly are. I know, because I am one of them. From the beginning of my life I have lived through the formula described above--parents pushing, determination building, etc etc etc.</p>
<p>But now that I have graduated from high school, I now see a bit more clearly what my parents did. They pushed me and helped me excel because they loved me, and wanted me to succeed for myself; they did not do it so that they would merely be happy and be able to brag off to their co-workers about having an "Ivy League" student or a "valedictorian."</p>
<p>Parents are extreme, and so are overachieving asians. But I think it is wrong to label them as a stereotypical group who are merely work robots. They also have a culture; they have a past; they have individual lives that each succeed in their own ways. I want to be a doctor, but not because my parents pushed me to do it. My parents allow me to choose whatever profession I want, as long as I work hard and persist in attaining it. I love biology and medicine because I truly love it myself. My parents gave me the strength to see what I truly loved; they taught me how to reach for it.</p>
<p>Let me just say, I'm choosing medicine to appease my mom (she wouldn't dare drop that much money had I wanted to go into business, an unstable field says mom) and also I want to do medical school and go through another four years of school and become a doctor because of the money. :-) Only for the money.</p>
<p>There is no other premed on the face of this earth that would say money is probably not a top factor. Making a shizzle load of money is what I intend to do in my life, its what everyone should do when they get old.</p>
<p>^^ Sounds noble enough for me.</p>
<p>we are including indian in this 2 right:)</p>
<p>how prestigious is duke to the asian community?</p>
<p>Who cares? If you like Duke and think you'll learn a lot there, get good connections, and be able to potentially earn a huge salary, then go.</p>
<p>Considering Duke ranks high on the USNWR list...</p>
<p>Just consult that thing.</p>
<p>i will...it looks like duke is top 10...which are the only universities that matter.</p>
<p>Lol Darkninja is a prime example of an Asian obsessed with prestige. Who cares how Duke ranks in USNEWS? Or what Asians think about it for the matter? It's a good school and if you like it there apply.</p>
<p>Something tells me that dark ninja is joking...</p>
<p>Something tells you incorrectly.</p>
<p>I'll certainly admit that I want for him to be joking, but unless I meet him face-to-face, I'll never know. You know what they say - ignorance is bliss.</p>
<p>In any case, people - it does not matter what the "Asian community" thinks. It only matters what YOU think.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Actually, going to a "prestigious" college is a better investment if you're interested in business rather than medicine. IB and MC firms don't even pretend to consider students from all schools equally. If you're going into private practice medicine, where you got your MD rarely affects your salary.</p>
<p>Does it really matter where you go to medical school? Salary wise, no, but for improtance factors like placements in top residency programs and a network of life-long contacts, yes.</p>
<p>"You play piano to get college, then you become medical person".</p>
<p>My white parents pushed all three of us and we have excelled. My white brother got a full music scholarship because he was a "minority" in that field.</p>
<p>"how much heez lessons cost. Heez teacher spensive".</p>
<p>yes i was joking...fab guy...you are right! bourne...wrong again...sry try next time</p>
<p>First off, I'm Filipino, so I don't really count myself as Asian. That's my opinion, let's not move into that whole discussion. A few points I want to discuss:</p>
<ul>
<li><p>Someone earlier mentioned that its tough for Asians who went to UCR or another lower tier school to get a good job because they have to compete with the Asians at UCB, UCLA, etc. That's like a chicken and the egg scenario. Is it the fact that its hard for Asians to get good jobs that forced everyone to get into good schools or is it the fact that Asians just wanted to go to good schools which forced the Asians at lower tiers to have to struggle.</p></li>
<li><p>I really hope that the whole perception of "get into --> good grades --> good school --> get good job--> get lots of money" isn't widespread among Asian parents, especially in terms of business jobs. If so, I would like to slap them. Does their S/D interview well?! Do they have natural intelligence or are they just a Clydesdale that can work on a problem for hours?! Can their S/D shmooze or mingle with the top execs?!</p></li>
</ul>
<p>From an outsider's perspective, that sucks for Asian children that their parents think that way. Like someone said earlier, sometimes the handshake is more important than the resume.</p>
<p>
[quote]
…let's not move into that whole discussion
[/quote]
</p>
<p>Sorry, can’t resist. If you’re not Asian, then what are you? I don’t know how you answer this question, but if you say, “I’m Filipino,” then that’s just a cop-out. What makes the Philippines so special that they don’t have a corresponding continental demonym?</p>