Asked to leave BS

<p>@BSbound I appreciate your comments and sensitivity. The school has no provisions for LD etc. however students with treated ADHD attend the school. As testing thus far has shown if there is an LD then treatment can be instituted. This should allow him to be able to do well at BS.
As for what you have noted. My S is a very kind and considerate boy. Despite the new difficulties encountered he never gave up and was always determined to keep working. He has made friends and one approached him to be his roommate next year. Do you see what we are dealing with. My son knows that the school will be deciding ( if they havenā€™t already) whether to allow him back . In the student manual students who are asked to leave for disciplinary reasons or even academic reasons are given the opportunity to make an application back to the committee ( School) that dismissed them. This is done if the student can show improvement in whatever lead to the dismissal. It is for the aforementioned reasons I asked a few days ago whether it would be advisable to accept such an offer ( after a year )assuming my S is helped. Whether he leaves or the school does not ask him back for a non -disciplinary reason ( as Dyermaker suggested) at this age would make no difference on his young record! ( Beating them to the punch line Dyermaker, is irrelevant) . That is why I was asking for advice. It is for the above reasons that I found the comments of Dyermaker inappropriate and callus.</p>

<p>If your son is that nice and friendly, surely he would make friends and be happy at ANY school? So, why not start investigating schools that might be better able (and willing) to support his academic efforts. There are many schools that are willing to do so ā€“ seems like staying at one that shows no interest in helping will put your son in a tough position. Is his current school a big name or something? I hope that is not part of the decision to stay where is is/wasā€¦ I know there are MANY good schools out thereā€¦ seems like one would be the perfect combination for your son. I wish you luckā€¦ it is a difficult time for your family, to be sure.</p>

<p>No the name has never been important. And I agree with you leaving permanently is probably the best course. My wife and I have been discussing with my son the option of remaining home for a year ( local high school or parochial school), obtaining neuro-feedback therapy ( if required based on results of qEEG) and then reapplying to other Boarding Schools possibly as a repeat 10th grader. This would give him a chance to excel ( assuming treatment was successful and he would want to go that route). These are some of the long term possibilities that we are looking into. Also, if he wants to remain home and complete high school ā€¦well why not. It was only simple opinions my wife and I were looking for via CC. If someone can comment regarding repeating a year and reapplying vs just reapplying to BS next year or even waiting an additional year and then reapply as a repeat 11th grader ( I know it far off but it would be nice to give a possible goal to our S) it would be appreciated.</p>

<p>Liberty ā€“ I have been reading this thread and hesitated to chime in ā€“ learning disabilities are very complicated and unique to each child, so itā€™s very hard to give advice based on the small amount of testing done so far. I am the parent of a child with significant LDā€™s ā€“ his older brother attended boarding school, but it would never be an option for my younger son. I think you can be very hopeful about your childā€™s future success though, based on the fact that he tested well enough to begin with to be accepted to a boarding school, and prior to 9th grade, there were no signs of a LD (perhaps Iā€™m wrong about this?). If he does have an LD that extends ADHD, it is to a lesser degree. LDs to a significant degree are diagnosed much earlier, and enter early intervention programs as toddlers, etc. </p>

<p>While I donā€™t have advice as to whether itā€™s better to leave and reapply, I do think it makes sense to see how he does in a public/parochial setting, where he can have tutoring and you can observe his study/homework habits. Having been through the system, I will tell you that more resources are available in the public schools since they are required by law, once the testing shows an LD. Parochial schools and private schools do not have to make accommodations. It may be that your son just needs help with organization and study skills ā€“ which would be very good news. But if he needs more, there are a myriad ways that the schools can and should intervene, such as tests read aloud or in a small classroom setting, questions explained, extra time for standardized tests. I have a feeling that your son is going to do very well once outside the BS setting --not that he hasnā€™t been happy there. But allowing kids with ADHD is very different than providing accommodations for significant LDs, and it sounds like his present BS does not do that. There are BSs that provide this, and you should visit the LD forum on CC and ask this question ā€“ Iā€™ve gotten great information there. </p>

<p>One last thing ā€“ LDs are not quickly cured in 6 month or a yearā€™s time. It may mean a lifetime of learning to adjust and compensate. I am somewhat skeptical that neurofeedback could be such a quick fix. But again, I do think that his issues sound to a lesser degree ā€“ he just needs to be in a more supportive setting. Best wishes and keep us posted.</p>

<p>Thank you Skibum4 for your information and advice.</p>

<p>I guess Iā€™ll chime in also. I have one child who just graduated from a HADES (sorry about the acronym) school with ADHD (attentional difficulties and difficulty with time management). Child does not have learning disabilities which are different. They would be Dyslexia, Dyscalculia or Disgraphia. The only accommodations this particular school would give child#1 was time and a half and small group testing. Child is medicated and did well and is going to top LAC. Our other child has significant LD and ADHD. That child has decided to go to boarding school next year, but one that will have all the supports in place that we know child #2 will need. We would never have placed child #2 in the ā€œsink or swimā€ environment that our other child was able to navigate. This child is also medicated. I am not a medical professional, but have been through many services with child #2. Including 5 years of occupational therapy, significant reading remediation and countless IQ and achievement testing. Someone recommended Biofeedback to us and I consulted a top Dr at the Child Mind Institute in NYC and he said that kids can make progress in the setting but rarely can implement it in ā€œreal lifeā€ situations. I would be wary of spending a year on an unproven therapy and probably thousands of dollars. I agree with Skibum and find the school where your child will thrive instead of fighting an uphill battle with current school. Flame away!</p>

<p>Agree completely with sk8. Since your son seemed to like the BS experience why not hire an educational consultant and see about getting him in to a different school? Believe it or not, itā€™s still possible for fall.</p>

<p>I have a child who is bright and needs minimal accommodation (ADHD) but I also know she wouldnā€™t do well at a highly competitive school because that type of environment tends to shut her down.</p>

<p>There are GREAT schools out there who have learning specialists on staff and where your son can also get an excellent education and all the other bonuses that come with BS. Iā€™m not talking about therapeutic boarding schools but well known, well respected schools.</p>

<p>From your accounts here, Iā€™d say your current school bungled their handling of your son and if it were me I would not trust them with my child a second time. Iā€™d also get a second opinion on the suggested treatment.</p>

<p>@liberty55, my recommendation is to not go to Public school. There are some misconcenptions about all this I am reading. Nothing can be cured in 6 months. Your son will learn to compensate for the difficulties. Public schools while required by law to offer IEP, etc is never really the best choice unless your public school personnel actually care about anything but their salaries. Mine never gave a damn. YMMV. My recommendation is to educate yourself further by discussing with people who have the knowledge. That is why I recommended you go to millermom.proboards.com. Plus consider Salisbury School as others recommended. You may wish to talk with Kents Hill School in Maine or Eagle Hill School in MA, New Hampton School in NH, etc. Good luck.</p>

<p>My S completed all testing including the qEEG. What was noted was ADHD in attentive type. Apparently medication is not recommended for this firm of ADHD since the medication used can exacerbate the condition. Neuro-feedback is recommended (40 sees ions over a 20 week period). His IQ and learning ability are normal. The above has lead to academic difficulty ( delay in reading comprehension by 3 years and writing fluency by approximately 1 year) because of impairment in attention, inhibition, organization, and auditory comprehension. ( agree with two out of four of theseā€¦ Honestly he is very neat and organized on a daily basis and Iā€™m not sure if inhibition is meant to delineate inhibition in brain waves however he is not fidgety or hyperactive) .
Has anyone had experience regarding treatment and/or academic success with ADHD in attentive type ?</p>

<p>My S was also diagnosed with in attentive type ADHD and has been on medication for 2 years. It made a huge difference and heā€™s doing remarkably well in school (an academically challenging Jr. Boarding schoolā€“where he is a day student ). Has gotten extra time accommodations on tests and some help with organization-- which he will also get next year in BS. He tried a couple of different meds, but has been on a not- super-high dose of Focalin XR for 2 years. No neuro-feedback. Heā€™s gotten straight Aā€™s and an academic award every year. And he was a mess in his first year at the Jr. BS (6th grade).</p>

<p>I have 2 children with ADHD one hyperactive the other inattentive. Both are on stimulant medications with no problems.</p>

<p>Thank you both . Sounds like medication works wonders. Weā€™re there any concerns regarding side effects ? Also can you elucidate the medication used for the inattentive ADHD ?</p>

<p>Picking up this thread a little late. D2 has ADD inattentive for which she takes Adderall XRā€“which makes a world of difference. D1 has ADD mixed type and takes Concerta.</p>

<p>I am concerned about some of the testing results you have gottenā€“and especially the recommendation for neurofeedback and against meds. Neurofeedback is a controversial therapy for ADD, as is the use of EEG for diagnosis. The use of meds for ADD inattentive is common and generally well accepted. And anyone who claims that ADD or LDā€™s will be ā€œcuredā€ with a 6 month course of ANY therapy raises MAJOR red flags. These conditions can be remediated and skills can be learned to help compensate for executive function deficits, etcā€“but not cured. I am also concerned about testing results in which it seems like there are deficits in processing speedā€“but they told you the FSIQ is ā€œaverage.ā€ If there are statistically significant differences between the subscores, the FSIQ is invalid. I would wonder if your son is twice exceptional (gifted plus LD and/or ADD). You may want a second opinion or at least a second look at the testing. I would be happy to discuss this more by PM.</p>

<p>As you can see from these various posts, drug therapy is quite common for in attentive ADHD and can be very effective. Different kids react differently to different meds thoughā€“it takes a bit of trial and error to find the right meds and doses for your kid (we tried a couple of different meds and then a couple of different doses to find the most effective choice with the fewest side effects-- but other kids we know do great on meds that didnā€™t work for us). Of course we worried about side effects. One type of drug we abandoned made S sleepy. The one we settled on (Focalin XR) initially disrupted his sleep patterns somewhat and suppressed his appetite so he lost weight. Both of those side effects subsided; he is sleeping fine now and regained the weight he lost (and maintains a steady weight and appetite). Work with both your pediatrician and a pediatric psychiatrist to see if meds will be effective for your son and to make the best choices. Then work with whatever school you choose on time accommodations, organizational support, and whatever else he needs. As you go down this road, youā€™ll be surprised how many other families youā€™ll meet who are going through the same thing-- and are finding ways to help their kids be successful and confident in school. But itā€™s not a quick process.</p>

<p>@liberty55- Is there an update? I hope your son is doing well!</p>

<p>Thank you all for your input. The BS was given his testing results and based on his poor performance his first year and his diagnosis, allowed him to withdraw ā€œwithout prejudiceā€. I almost died when the academic dean told me ā€œwithout prejudiceā€ (as if having a 1.5 avg and no help while he was sinking ) is not prejudicial! Wow how generous of him ! I know some schools are not " equipped" (as they like to put it) to handle a learning difference but I am
Sure my S was not the first child since 1851 that was admitted to this school to have an LD discovered ( or the possibility one may exist) . Do you let him keep sinking? A school is not a hospital but first aid or more is administered before true medical help can be given! He was lame to be honest! " take the money and run" and then have the unmitigated nerve to tell me that they all want whatā€™s best and he can leave without prejudice! I know some of the BS parents will say that the School could have just dismissed him and not give him the opportunity to withdraw! Really now, as a well behaved and respectful ninth grader ( ie never had a disciplinary issue) whatā€™s the difference ?
He is one fourth of the way completed with neuro feedback and is also working with a learning specialist. We never consulted a pediatric psychiatrist . Is it his pediatrician that would prescribe medication for his in attentive ADHD?
He has enrolled in a local parochial school for tenth grade and is going to interview will The Millbrook school in the fall for next year (2014) possibly as a repeat 4th former. He must retake the SSAT and start the application process
all over. It seems this school cares about LD and even has a learning specialist on staff. Itā€™ll be the only BS he will be applying to unless another school can be recommended. His former BS stated he would have to reapply to re-enter as if he were a totally new student. ( thatā€™s not happening).</p>

<p>Talk to your pediatrician first. Some pediatricians are comfortable prescribing Nd following ADHD meds, some prefer having a pediatric psychiatrist following the child (just n
because they have a lot of experience), and some prefer you START with the psychiatrist UNTIL you figure out the best meds and dosage for your child, and then are happy to do the prescribing and follow- up themselves. Usually these are quick appointmentsā€“the pediatricians and psychiatrists just handler he meds. If you also want someone to work with your son on organization, note-taking, etc., that would be a psychologist or learning specialist. Lots of luck!</p>

<p>I would suggest finding an adolescent psychiatrist to prescribe medication. There are so many different meds and combinations that you really need an expert. Many pediatricians are not comfortable prescribing meds for ADHD. Best of luck!</p>

<p>To Liberty55: Do not let anyone tell you not to treat your son with medication. My son had the incredible advantage of being diagnosed with the combined version of ADHD- (Impulsive, hyperactive and inattentive) as part of an ongoing study at the National Institutes of Health in Bethesda Md. At the time of his diagnosis, we were suppose to meet with the Dr. who was overseeing the research to discuss treatment options. By chance, he was out of town at a conference which allowed us to meet with his boss Dr Judith Rappaport MD, one of the worldā€™s leading research experts on ADHD. She was very careful to feel us out about whether we would consider medication. Once we let her know that we wanted to do what was best for our son who was having all sorts of problems in his 1st grade classroom, she recommended medication. She said the only side effect that has been documented over the past 20-30 years is that continuous use of stimulants may stunt his growth by 1/2 inch. The remedy to this is to take ā€œmedication breaksā€ during the summer. We did this initially but do not any longer because not being on the medicine can be dangerous. By that I mean he is very impulsive which can result in him running across the street without looking to see if the coast is clear. Finding the best medication and dosage should be done with a Dr that deals with this on a regular basis. Good luck to you. By the way, the inattentive form of ADHD is hard to diagnose and many students can overcompensate until they get to high school when it all blows up. Especially with subjects that require you to build on prior knowledge learned like algebra and foreign language.</p>

<p>Thank you Firstgenbsp112. We will consider medication. We will get a second opinion once our son completes his neuro-feedback therapy. Also working with a learning specialist to help sharpen his study skills.</p>