Although my D doesn’t have to think about this yet, I always like jumping into problems early
So D was accepted to various colleges…she selected College X. Now College Y has come back with a final answer on the extended wait list and said, “no for now but you would be an exceptionally strong candidate as a sophomore transfer.” (hand-written note). College Y is/was the dream school. Now it may be that she’s going to be 100% happy at the chosen school…she and I both want that to be the scenario. But if she does go for the Transfer, i noticed that stiudents ask recommendations from their current college professors to send to their possible-new college. Now why would they do that? I get the HS way of doing it…your teacher is happy that you’re leaving HS and going to college. But why would a college professor spend time to have one of their students leave for another college?
I transferred. It is extremely easy to ask a college professor for a recommendation as long as you give a good reason. If you simply say, College Y is more prestigious - they will be reluctant to write a good one. For me, I said, my current school simply does not resonate with my academic goals. I gave good reasons and had a heartfelt discussion with my professors. They gladly wrote my recs because not only did I excel in their classes and also developed relationships with them but also they are teachers. They want a student to be happy.
Going into college keeping the little note saying ‘we might like you next year’ can be poisonous. Every bad day, every less-than perfect moment can have a little asterisk next to it, whispering ‘it would be better at College Y’.
If a boy treated your daughter the way that college Y has (‘wait until I’ve checked out aaaalllll the other girls in the room, then I’ll let you know if I like you / ok, sorry, I don’t like you that much, but here’s my phone number- call me if you’re in town and if I’m free maybe we’ll get together’) you would tell her that she deserves better.
And she does. Love the one that loves you.
Guessing that College Y has an appreciably fancier name than College X and that neither of you is throwing away the (handwritten) note, asking college profs for a rec is fine. They are used to it, but as @Rhuran points out, having done well in their class and having a well articulated reason for changing are both important.
btw, even with the note, the transfer application will ask ‘why transfer to us’ and the answer has to be more than ‘you were my crush when I was 17’. It has to reflect some thoughtful reasons as to what, specifically, your D can get from Y that she can’t get from X.
and the other big question will be: how much merit $$$ will they give you as a transfer? some colleges do still offer merit to transfers, but many don’t. I’d try to get the answer to that question first thing. If the answer is none and it’s not affordable, stick the note in a box somewhere, take pride in the “almost” and forget about it. If there is potential merit $$ and it’s affordable, it’s going to be hard not to have that niggling thought in the back of her / your head …
I’d caution that during first semester lots of students talk about transferring. Most kids do not end up going where they wanted to go for whatever reason (didn’t get in, not enough $$, etc.) By early second semester though, many of these “I’m going to transfer” tunes change. I would a) send a gracious note to admission person who scribbled the encouragement thanking them b) look up the deadline and requirements (including GPA) for transferring to dream college, mentally make a note, and then forget about it and c) have your daughter give it her all at the college she’s going to - without planning to transfer. Don’t talk about it as an option all fall. Don’t talk about it all until after first semester is over. You can discuss again over winter break.
If your daughter has to reapply the answer isn’t, “no for now,” it’s “no” and that’s what they should have said. I don’t think a personal note like that is at all helpful. Is it one adcom’s personal opinion or the opinion of the college? Suppose that person isn’t there next year or they get many strong transfer apps? If they aren’t accepting your daughter they should have just said no and let her move on, not string her along.
I’d encourage her to fully focus on the school that committed to her. If she eventually feels that transferring is the right decision, suggest she research schools based on what’s right for her at that moment, not what may have been right for the person she was at 17.
