This may be an odd question to ask, but I’m an alumna of one of the HADES schools. When I was there (~25 years ago), there were more than a couple of kids who were “quirky” - had some definite socially awkward behavior. Brilliant, but a little weird, but found their niche/had friends/did well. We’re now starting to look at schools for my son, who was diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome (when it was still a diagnosis - now it’s all under the autism spectrum umbrella). He has changed a tremendous amount, to the extent that none of his current teachers knew there was an issue until we disclosed it (although one mentioned his avoidance of eye contact with adults - but had assumed he was nervous). He has his heart set on my alma mater. On paper, he’s an extremely strong candidate across the board - academics, ECs and athletics. I actually think he would do well at boarding school - he’s more independent and mature than I (and many of my BS friends) had been at the same age. However, I am concerned about whether it’s still the case at elite schools that kids who are a little quirky are accepted. My sense is that admission is so competitive now, anything - like having poor eye contact - can disqualify you. Can anyone else speak to have a “twice exceptional” / very bright but a little quirky kid go through admissions?
I can’t answer your question (though I’m eager to see responses).
I do hope people write in with positive stories. I recently read Steve Silberman’s book, NeuroTribes, which covers the history of autism. I highly recommend it. It would be a real loss to the schools to exclude these kids.
The good news: There are now universities with robust support programs for students with autism and some employers, including Microsoft and SAP, are actively seeking them out. These employers are even adjusting the recruiting/interviewing/screening process for them (why judge an autistic person on their ability to make small talk and eye contact in an interview?), hiring them, and making accommodations so they can thrive (like reducing ambient noise or creating spaces for sensory breaks).
These trends give me hope. As a society, we will benefit greatly from helping autistic people as they will be able to better contribute their gifts. Accommodations made for them might benefit others as well, just like sidewalk cut outs and ramps for wheelchairs are useful for parents pushing strollers! More of them will be able to find fulfilling jobs and support themselves… And perhaps even feel happier, appreciated, and embraced. They’ll be better equipped to advocate for themselves, too.
Oops. Apologies for digressing off topic…
Curious to see where this thread goes…
This is only a limited data point, but I do know of one kid with Asberger’s who is attending a boarding school – not a HADES school, but one that’s mentioned on this forum as a “hidden gem.” The family was very open with the school in the admissions process about their child’s issues, which they felt was the best thing because they wanted to make sure that the whole school community would be supportive and accepting. I think it’s been a great experience for this kid, and I know independently from other kids who attend that school that this kid is very much an accepted part of the student body – definitely viewed as quirky, but I think because no one makes a secret of the diagnosis, the other kids get that it’s a medical thing, not just being weird.
I sent you a PM - similar to sox mom I know one child with Aspergers at a school that is sometimes mentioned around here. Just started a few weeks ago, but happy so far.
Legacy means a lot at these schools. If your son is qualified and ticks all the boxes he stands a good chance of admission on his own.
Does he need any sort of accommodations? If not then consider applying without disclosing. Unfortunately most people don’t know about the autism spectrum and assume the kid will simply need too much help.