<p>jktbre, welcome to posting on CC. Please share how your son adapts as time passes at college. I have a dear friend whose son has a syndrome sometimes defined by professionals as Aspergers and he is in the class of 2110. She is anxious about how he will adapt socially and academically next fall, although he is unique in his own way and not that similar to your eldest boy.<br>
This particular parent friend of mine had an older brother described as a "loner" who was obsessed with trains. He eventually got a PhD, earned a decent living and had a small but devoted circle of friends, a church life that meant something to him and his own home. The spectrum of autism is indeed broad.<br>
With a mother like you, your boys have much hope of fulfilling their potential and finding their own places in the broader world. Enjoyed reading your post and admire your journey and your courage and insights as a parent!</p>
<p>jktbre--did I read that you have two with Asperger's? So very sorry to hear about the bad side effects of the medications. I have a nephew who has been on tons of meds, and I often wonder if the meds are making him better or worse. He suffers from migraines and depression and has learning disabilities and some asperger like symptoms, though has never been officially diagnosed with autism or aspergers. </p>
<p>You sound like an awesome mother. I loved the story about the dinosaurs!</p>
<p>I read a fascinating book once, about the adopted (autistic) child of the actor that played the priest on MASH. I think it was called "Mixed Blessings" or something like that. A good (but sad) read.</p>
<p>jk, what a beautiful post. </p>
<p>May your difficulties be rewarded with blessings and serendipities.</p>
<p>jktbre- that is a very moving post. I wish you and family the best.</p>
<p>May I recommend a wonderful book? It's called "Realizing the College Dream with Autism or Asperger Syndrome - a Parent's Guide to Student Success" by Ann Palmer (Jessica Kingsley Publishers, 2006). The author is a mother of a boy on the Autistic Spectrum, and she writes honestly and lovingly of her son's strengths and issues. The book gives excellent advice on planning for the wide range of situations a student may need to handle independently in college and discusses varied strategies so students can find an approach that fits their problem-solving style best. There is also an excellent resources section in the back of the book.</p>
<p>I have been reading CC for two years now, and this is one of the most loving and compassionate threads I have ever read. I am filled with admiration for all of you.</p>
<p>As a school counselor, I can share the story of a young man who graduated two years ago. I recall that when he came as a freshman, he was blessed to have the protection of some of the most popular kids in the school, and had had for a number of years. I think that was a very significant part of his ultimate success. During the early years, we made sure he was in the classes of some of his best friends, which wasn't hard, as they all had some academic gifts and were in honors classes. As the years progressed, it became less important to this student to be surrounded by his buddies, and by the time he graduated, he was able to go on to a four-year college about 2 hours from home. He came back to visit last year and was doing well!</p>
<p>I think that the understanding and compassion of our teachers, (I work at a rural, public high school) in conjunction with the "protective" friends, made all the difference to this young man.</p>
<p>You guys are sweet. Thank you so very much.</p>
<p>I am terrified of his going away to college, although excited for him as well. I do want him to go to schools closer to us so that if there is an issue, I can get up to him quickly. Unfortunately, there are not many schools that hold a game programming degree, in this area. He is looking at the University of Denver. I have not told them of his Asperger's. I don't know if I should or not.</p>
<p>You can bet that I will be getting that book that you suggested, NurEins, thank you very much.</p>
<p>Yes, mstee, my youngest son is also on the autism spectrum. I find it easier just to explain it as Asperger's versus pervasive development disorder not otherwise specified, or PDD NOS, as it is known as. He is totally different than our oldest son and I believe that his is more severe as a result of damage created by the various medications that he was placed on. I will let you know when USA Today prints the article on him and you can see for yourself the effects that the drugs had on him..very sad situation although as of today, he is really doing much better.</p>
<p>Thank you all for your kind words. I think that raising children has unique challenges for any parent and that it is the toughest job out there, regardless of any special needs so before you start applauding me, applaud yourself as well. We all have great kids. I am very impressed by both the parents and the children that post on these boards. I read the stats and I am just in awe:)</p>
<p>HI again, </p>
<p>just brought in the mail and his acceptance to the University of Denver along with an 8000 dollar Provost Scholarship. Well, that brings the cost down to a mere 28 thousand dollars, lol.</p>
<p>University of Colorado, Colorado Springs is only about 12 thousand when you add tuition, room, board and other fees. We were not as impressed with their program though, like we were with University of Denver..but that cost..yikes!</p>
<p>We are still waiting to hear from DePauw and RPI, but I do not really think that I want him that far away from home.</p>
<p>Just thought that i would share. Thanks again and best of luck to your children:)</p>
<p>jktbre,</p>
<p>Wowie zowie!!! What fabulous news!! It is good to know your story and to know that you have such a special kid! (Hope the cost is not prohibitive if you really like Denver best, but I understand the financial qualms.) </p>
<p>Again, way to go!!</p>
<p>Hi, </p>
<p>An update. My son has been accepted at DePauw with a 12 thousand a year scholarship and at Penn State. We still have not heard from RPI so I am beginning to think that may be his first rejection.</p>
<p>I think though, I am going to push that he goes to either the University of Colorado at Colorado Springs or the University of Denver just because they are in our backyard..at least for the first two years to see how he adjusts. UCCS is much more affordable that Denver though, so we will probably have to go that way. His brother is right behind him ready to go off to college too and they tell us that a year at University of Denver will cost 42 thousand dollars! yikes, with only an 8000 dollar scholarship, that wont go far.</p>
<p>As for my 13 year old son..the article from USA Today is due out on the 12th and 13th of April, if anyone is interested in reading it.</p>
<p>Good Luck guys:) and thanks for the support.</p>
<p>Hi jktbre: thanks for the update, and I think your decision to work on settling him in school in Colorado is excellent. My friend who has a son on the spectrum has also chosen an instate school, albeit a small liberal arts college and has her fingers crossed but can't place bets yet on how he will fare living with peers instead of parents. I will be watching for the article that includes interview with your family. If you don't mind, could you consider posting the link here when it is out? Some of us only get that paper if we are in hotels or airports. I am sure opening up your life experience to others will be positive energy. I listened to interviews with a boy with Asperger's on NPR this month...did you catch it. The mother was fantabulous when her teen son with Aspergers was "interviewing" her for the show. His questions for his mother were very loaded and really gave insight into what he is experiencing and wondering about. <a href="http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=5285066%5B/url%5D">http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=5285066</a></p>
<p>I am a Speech/Language Pathologist and over half of the children on my school based caseload (K-8th grade)are on the spectrum. I understand the "fear" that parents have about bullies, social adjustment issues etc. I do hope that your child is working with a QUALIFIED speech/langauge pathologist or psych. to assist with social awareness.<br>
Michelle Garcia Winner <a href="http://www.socialthinking.com%5B/url%5D">www.socialthinking.com</a> is a good resource.
Check out the book Freaks, Geeks and Aspergers by Luke Jackson and Tony Attwood
You can also find wonderful resources at <a href="http://www.autismsociety-nc.org/%5B/url%5D">http://www.autismsociety-nc.org/</a></p>
<p>It is wonderful for me to read all of the wonderful suggestions and support you are receiving</p>
<p>Thank you for the link, Faline. Those are very tough questions for any parent to answer:)</p>
<p>WaitingMom, my oldest son no longer sees anyone. He has not in many years. He believes that there is nothing wrong with him..and to be honest, he has come so far that it would be hard to say that there is anything wrong if you were to meet him today. </p>
<p>My other child graduated from therapy in December. I don't know that he was ready. I am watching him closely.</p>
<p>I will send the link when the article comes out. I just want other parents to be aware of the dangers of medications and to know what to watch for if their children are using these particular meds. I did not know and had I, perhaps things would be different for him today.</p>
<p>Everyone has been very supportive and I appreciate it very much. I love Tony Attwood.</p>
<p>I would love to read the article on medication. I HATE that people are looking at medication as a "cure" for Autism and Aspergers. I find the kids I work with delightful. My goal is for them to gain perspective that the rest of the world is a bit different and how they can effectively understand how to move about the world socially. Most of my students are also identified as being gifted and their perspective is wonderful, they become frustrated that "we" don't understand their perspective as much as "we" become frustrated at their difficulty with things like saying hi in the hallways. I really don't believe that theray should be life long-just long enough to help with perspective taking-increasing the awareness of others-</p>
<p>Tony Attwood is wonderful because he also sees Aspergers not as a disability but as a different perspective on socialization. My adult friends who are "on the spectrum" love their life and they thrive with a small group of friends. To be honest it is often the schools that have a problem because kids have only 1-2 close friends-but as I always point out in IEP meetings don't most adults only have 1-2 people they identify as close friends? I don't have social interaction problems but in addition to my husband and family I only have 2 friends that I really consider close enough to really talk to the others in my life I chat with...is that really so different from some of the kids labeled as Aspergers?</p>
<p>I totally agree with your post. I had to realize that my ideas about fun are not the same as his..and that does not make his ideas wrong. He is very content with his life and where he stands in society.</p>
<p>In this connection, I find it helpful to use the terminology neurotypical versus atypical rather than normal vs. abnormal. Kids on the autism spectrum are "neurologically wired" in ways that occur less frequently, so their perspectives differ from most people's but they can also provide a shifted insight that sheds light on our experience in ways that reveal new connections and meanings.</p>
<p>Hi again, my son finally made a decision. He chose The University of Denver. I think he chose well although we may end up in the poor house because of it..lol. He is salutatorian.</p>
<p>My other son's article in USA TODAY had been delayed and will be out on Tuesday, the 2nd of May. His name is Rex.</p>
<p>Thank you again. Best of luck to all of your children:)</p>
<p>Thanks for the update. Best of luck to your son! I'll look for the article on Tues.</p>
<p>will be looking to see Rex's interview this week. I hope they did him justice! University of Denver sounds like an exciting plan for your eldest. May the freshman fall bring him some real joy and new mentors.</p>
<p>I read the article, and the other articles--pretty heavy stuff. Those side effects can be brutal. You have been through a lot. Thank you for sharing that. Lots to think about . . . Wishing you and Rex all the best as you continue to deal with this.</p>