<p>A timely question given all of the adults that fell in love with houses that came along with a boatload of debt. Of course you can divorce the house with only a 7-year penalty if you don't want to hang on to the debt. If we have millions of adults that couldn't manage their finances, what are the odds that we won't have millions of young adults in similar circumstances but in different areas? Like marriage.</p>
<p>There are some with financial expertise that I respect highly. I have no problems asking them for their opinion when I have a decision to make. Of course I make my own decisions all of the time but someone that's really, really good, might have an excellent reason to not do something or may have an alternative suggestion. Sometimes those suggestions are literally worth their weight in gold. And silver, platinum and uranium.</p>
<p>In my son's case my first reaction was to micro-manage him. My spouse pointed out that I did that in high school and it was now time for my son to take all the skills that he had been taught and put them to use or not. The choice was his to make.
What we were clear about was that coming home was not going to be a fun place. We were not willing to just put him up in an apartment and have him attend the community college (as several of his high school friends were doing). Coming back home meant getting a job, taking the bus or walking. The car was not going to be available. We also felt that if he flunked out he needed to work and not go right back to the community college. Also that living at home meant living by all of our rules. He would need to prove himself.
By doing all the loan docs he saw what his payment amount was going to be and for how long. My son is tight with his money- not mine. The incentive is that the loan payment is going to come out of his pocket.
As far as time management and study skills- For summer school I made the phone call to make sure he was still active with the learning disabilities department at the community college. He had been admitted to that program while in high school for some dual enrollment classes. That made him eligible to use the special LD tutoring center. It was up to him. He did meet with a family friend who has worked as a ADD coach. She guided him through several papers and through 2 speeches. She offered to do more but he did not follow up on it. He went to the tutoring center a few times. Not as often as I would have liked. He also made the decision to take his ADD meds on occasion when he had an exam to study for or a large paper.
When it came time to go back to his 4 yr school he made an appt with the LD director and worked out a plan. He used accommodations in some of his classes. He used the writing center when he had a paper due. The biggest change we saw was his realizing that he had a poor concept of how long things would take him. He began studying for exams a week in advance, making flashcards and joining study groups. He also made use of medications. Again he did not use it for lectures but did use them for studying. He also made a huge effort to not skip any classes.
I think one of the biggest changes was that he was a year older and more mature. I did not feel he was ready for college last yr and supported a gap yr. He did not.
His grades are not what they could be but they are much better. He still could be more assertive. The class where he used the most accommodations was one where the professor approached him and suggested he use them. If the professor said nothing my son did not ask. He also was able to honestly look at he quality of his work and see the difference when he put in the effort. He also realized that his old ways of studying were not working and he needed to try new ways. Before when he did poorly his answer was always I will do better next time but not have any concrete ideas as to how he was going to make a change.
He is growing up. He has a long way still to go but it is progress.</p>