I am considering attending the University of Arizona. My parents live in Indiana, so I would not be able to go home often. Would this be difficult and/or scary. Does anybody have any advise or experience to share.
Both my kids went to school in Illinois and we’re from NY. My older didn’t care about the distance as long as she could call, my younger wanted a school a bit further away so that she wouldn’t feel the pull of going home when something small went wrong or if she was too stressed. She wanted to learn to deal on her own. Was it scary for her? A little at first, but she’s a senior now and is so happy she chose that way. She’s actually looking at moving to Chicago when she graduates because she likes the distance.
To me the biggest thing is time zones, not distance. A phone call helps a lot but anything more than one hour difference becomes a logistical nightmare, IMHO.
This is what college is all about - discovering new things which includes discovering new parts to you!
It is expensive to go home, so some students far from home don’t go home for Thanksgiving,
This is a very personal thing. Some kids are more independent and have no problems going away and not coming home often. Others are really tied into family activities and friends at home and want to be able to go home often. Only you can decide how important this is to you.
I went across country to college and only came home at Christmas. I was fine. My husband went to his in-state flagship and went home for weekends fairly often but he had a close knit family that often got together. My D is currently looking at schools that are far enough away that we have told her that she will probably not be coming home for Thanksgiving if she chooses them. She knows this and is fine with it also. The fact that you are asking the question now, makes me think that this would be more of an issue for you. You will really need to think hard about this.
You are the only one who can answer this question. For some people the distance is not an issue and they enjoy exploring another part of the country while others prefer to be within driving distance so they can get home for shorter breaks. The only thing that is important for you to consider is YOUR comfort level with the distance. Nobody other opinion should matter.
Back in the last century, both my roommate and I had crossed almost half the continent to get to our college. Both of us had aunts/uncles/grandparents within a couple of hours by public transportation, and we quickly were “adopted” by the families of college friends who also lived relatively close by. Neither of us ever lacked for a place to go for fall break, Thanksgiving, or spring break. Sometimes we were the “hosts” who took college friends home for a break to spend time as an honorary niece/nephew of one of our relatives. It was not a hardship at all to only go home for winter break and summer.
This can work.
I went 8 hours from home (driving) and loved it.
This really depends on the student and family imho.
Go for it if it isn’t too much of a financial burden. There is a lot to be said for the personal/emotional growth that comes with adjusting to a completely new environment. You can always move back to your home town for summer breaks (and certainly after college) so your family and community will not be lost to you.
My daughter is 2 time zones away with no direct flight option. It isn’t a big deal for her but then she never considered distance as a negative factor when she was looking.
We have lived overseas in Asia for many years now, and my freshman daughter goes to college in Massachusetts. She just left yesterday (your today) and is still traveling as I write this. She doesn’t have a nearby option. She is loving learning to live in the US and being on her own. If you keep a mindset that going away to college is exciting and you dig in to your studies and everything that is cool about university life, you too will adapt to being far from home.
My dd attended a college on the east coast; we live in the midwest. This was her decision from the get-go, because it was a very good college and located in the east. She had friends from high school who attended other colleges that were within a couple of hours from her, and that gave her a place to go when she wanted to “get away.” We made the trek to her college a couple of times in her first and second years (parents’ day).
I went 1,000 miles away from my home to college. In some ways it was very liberating. I became a member of a new community, and I’m still attached to the place (city and college). In those days, I wrote letters and made occasional phone calls home. These days, it’s very easy to keep contact, and to share experiences, with friends and family on social media. You wouldn’t be “out of touch.”
Depending on how close your parents live to a major airport, you would not be that far from home. Southwest appears to have four flights a day each way between Tucson and Indianapolis, for example. Might be even more to Louisville if you live in southern Indiana. We live in California; D went to Dartmouth. Now THAT was a LONG travel day, with a cross-country flight to Boston and then a three-hour bus ride to Hanover. She came home at Christmas and at some point each summer, but spent Thanksgiving with friends or my east coast brother. Between Skype and iChat, we never felt out of touch, and she enjoyed the extra independence that being far from home provided. If you like the school, go for it.
^ Excellent point about how much communication has changed and is easier today. When I went students had to rely on letters, care packages and timing calls home so someone was there to talk to.
^^ Ha ha. I was once so angry at my parents my sophomore year at Reed that I didn’t answer the phone for three weeks and they had to get the Math Department secretary (a truly wonderful woman, RIP Marian) to intercede.
Have you been away from home much before? Know what it is like to be homesick and get over it/adjust? Realize that you will be 19/20 the second year 21/22 after that. The first year is the biggest adjustment. Mine went from CA to the east coast. Not home much.
It depends on the person.
Example One: I’ll probably attend school in another state in my region, and I’m very excited.
Example Two: My cousin goes to Lehigh, a few hours away, and he’s very homesick.
My dad’s side of the family is abnormally close, but I’ve felt ready to be independent for a couple of years. You’re probably somewhere in the middle.
We have much more technology today, so you’ll never be “out of touch” with your family. Many students are homesick in the beginning, but you will make friends, you won’t be alone.
A good fix for that anger would be an unpaid tuition bill the next semester.
Which would not have solved anything, Tom. We worked through it and had a good relationship for many years. Dad died in '92, but mom (94 and kicking) is still going strong.
I’d consider the expense and the impact of that expense on what you are able to do. I put no restrictions on my own but I did not talk up an excellent school on the other coast. At times I may have asked, “hey, did you schedule an interview for EastCost U?” But I did not do the same for “WestCoast U”. I don’t know how the kids feel about it but I am glad that I can attend the parents weekend and that coming home for a 4 day break is a possibility. Nobody is in college locally but none further than, say, a 6 hour drive or < 2 hour flight-something we can occasionally afford. For us, what is spent on one thing is not available for another so flights across the country would have been a stretch. We could have done it but we’d have felt it.
So think about the budget and the vacation timing for colleges you have in mind. If money isn’t an issue, and since travel is easy these days, going to school across the country does n’t seem like a big deal. but if money is an issue, how would you feel about not going home for brief breaks?.
Definitely consider the travel expenses. Our son is in college in Ohio and the flights back and forth to Boston definitely eat up some of that scholarship money!
future98 - I think you should ask yourself “How come AZ?” - and not one of the IN schools? If there is a solid reason for AZ, such as special program for your field of interest - not just “I don’t like the cold” - then go for it. If not, consider that you will still be “on your own” in IN, just make sure that you tell parents & friends that they can’t just drop by.