Attitudes towards homosexuality at US vs UK institutions?

Student Lounge College Life
1

<p>I am a British high school pupil and interested in studying in America because of the broad liberal arts approach. However, I'm not too sure if I could live in America for four years. This may be a misconception, but I am concerned that the issue of homosexuality is very polarised in America and the gay community over the top and segregated from the rest of society. Currently, I go to a school which is very open to same-sex relations and affection: our head teacher is gay, many of our teachers are gay and pupils as young as thirteen are open with their sexualities. People don't mind experimenting and no one is judgemental of each other. The popular guys "have fun" with each other and are still the popular guys. The phrase "That's so gay" is rarely heard. I came out casually, by inference when I started (I hate the idea of having to formally announce my sexuality), and no one cared: no one asked me about it, everyone just carried on as normal and treated me as they did initially. There are many other gay people in my year group but we don't talk much; nobody gravitates towards people of their sexuality. I form friendships with disregard for who someone wants to sleep with.</p>

<p>Now that I've established my current, seemingly utopian situation, I'll get to the punch line. If/when I go to university in America, I want it to be the same way. I just could not be assed with roommate awkwardness because of sexuality, or people being either obsessed with LGBT or completely against homosexuality. I want it to be a non-issue, as it seems to be at Oxford (I heard one in four guys there have had gay sex!) - for everyone (gay, straight, bi, whatever) to be supportive of openness about sexuality.</p>

<p>Could anyone suggest additional/other prestigious colleges/universities that have this attitude? Places like Trinity College seem homophobic and places like Wesleyan seem over the top. I just want decent people; I don't mean to be negative, I just feel this is important for my happiness. If anyone has any personal experiences of UK/US or Oxbridge/Ivies then I would be delighted to hear about them.</p>

2

<p>It totally depends on where you attend. If you attend a school in the south (there are exceptions to that rule i.e… Rice) you will experience it being an issue. That’s just because it is still a debate. Honestly I won’t recommend anywhere in the south except Rice. This comes from a queer southerner. In the north there are places where you will encounter the Wesleyan attitude (Berkeley comes to mind). Keep in mind that people are so vocal because in the US it is still important to be vocal so that change can come. That said, try Yale. That’s probably a top notch option for you.</p>

3

<p>Thanks, I’ve been looking at Yale :smiley: </p>

4

<p>In the US, the university-student-age demographic is generally much more LGB-accepting than the overall. However, there are some more socially conservative schools (often with a strong religious affiliation) that are officially LGB-unfriendly.</p>

<p>Some schools that may seem “over the top” may simply have some students who are relatively “noisy” about any kind of political or social cause. This does not necessarily mean that the “noise” affects all students.</p>

<p>However, note that studying in the US can be very expensive for international students, since costs are high, while financial aid and scholarships are limited.</p>

5

<p>I’m a queer Southerner as well and I take issue with the idea that anywhere in the South is going to have being gay as an issue. It totally depends on where you are. Major metropolitan areas in the South like Atlanta and Raleigh/Durham/Chapel Hill are pretty liberal - and actually I would say more liberal than some suburban and rural areas in the Northeast and Midwest. It’s not about relative region of the country necessarily, but about which pocket you tend to be in. I’d rather be gay in Atlanta or Raleigh or Charlotte than gay in rural Nebraska or suburban New Hampshire.</p>

<p>I’m not sure what over the top means. You mean super-liberal/progressive? That’s what comes to mind when someone puts Wesleyan and Berkeley in the same category.</p>

<p>With that said, I think most top universities have relatively liberal atmospheres that are welcoming/accepting of LGBT students. I can’t promise that there will be no awkwardness - I advised a queer student group at a very liberal, very diverse top university in a very diverse and LGBT-friendly city and still heard the occasional story of awkwardness and attention. The thing is that generally speaking gay rights is a much more polarizing issue in the U.S. than the UK even in our more liberal areas.</p>

<p>Some schools that I have heard recommended as especially LGBT-friendly are </p>

<p>Private: USC, Ithaca College, Oberlin (although this might be in the “over the top” group), Stanford, Princeton, Macalester, Connecticut College, Tulane, Carleton College, American University, UPenn, Amherst, Brown, Emory, Dartmouth, Pomona, UChicago, Syracuse
Public: Several UC campuses (UCLA, Berkeley of course, Davis, Irvine, Riverside, Santa Cruz), University of Houston, Penn State, Minnesota, Michigan, Oregon, Ohio State, Maryland-College Park, Rutgers, Portland State, Oregon State</p>

<p>I’m at Penn State now (although not as a student) and I’ve been to several of the LGBT center’s events here and I think they/we have a great, thriving, accepting community with really cool events!</p>

6

<p>@ucbalumnus Your point about some students making a whole student population seem wrongfully noisy is very good. Cheers for that!</p>

<p>The cost isn’t a problem at the most exclusive places. Harvard, Yale, MIT, Princeton, Dartmouth and Amherst are all need blind for internationals and many others offer 100% of demonstrated need (if admitted). I’d get a free ride at HYP, including flights home every year! That’s one of my main attractions to the US. I do live in Scotland, where we have free tuition fees, but if I was to go to university in England then it would cost £9,000 per year for tuition plus I’d have living expenses which I’d have to take out other loans for. I’d end up with about £45k debt to get a degree down south, whereas at Yale, I’d graduate debt free.</p>

7

<p>@juillet Ah, I see exactly what you mean. I did think it would be a little silly of me to avoid the South completely when friends warned me of it, but there’s no particular schools there that I’m interested in, nor is it convenient geographically in terms of travel to the UK (I want somewhere within distance of the JFK/Newark NY airports or Boston Logan. This might seem quite stringent but it still gives me many possibilities - I want to be able to go home easily, that’s all!</p>

<p>By over the top, I mean that there is an unnecessary focus on sexuality, as if it is defining of a person. To me, progressive means people don’t give a damn who you kiss or are attracted to and don’t see any reason to treat you differently or be your friend or not be your friend because of it. For example, I’m not that keen on the idea of having “LGBT events,” as if gay people would necessarily have different interests or need to socialise differently to straight people :stuck_out_tongue: I can’t say I have ever been to any such event before, though, so you never know, I might enjoy it. I just don’t like to think my sexuality means anything more than the gender to which I’m attracted! :slight_smile: </p>

<p>Your list of colleges that are gay-friendly is unbelievably helpful! I’ll be looking at the private ones only as they are the only ones that offer me significant financial aid. Thanks again :D</p>