<p>I basically agree with ebeee in that college is a time for change and adjustment and learning to live with other people. I think choosing a school based primarily on the availability of single rooms could be a mistake. Also, many colleges match roommates based on sleeping patterns (early-to-bed vs. night owls), and that might help your daughter into a situation that works for her. Just try to keep an open mind is what I’m saying.</p>
<p>The only two colleges I know of that have an abundance of singles for freshmen are in New York State – Cornell and Columbia. There are singles available because the two universities decided to reserve specific dorm neighborhoods for freshmen, and the dorms in those neighborhoods happen to have a lot of single rooms.</p>
<p>BUT – and it’s a big but – in both cases, students are much less likely to get singles their second year. Sophomores pick last in the upperclass dorm lotteries and are likely to end up in doubles.</p>
<p>If your daughter needs a single to the point that a doctor or other professional would get involved, you can work through the college disabilities office to get a single.</p>
<p>Our daughter has multiple health problems that require a consistent schedule (insulin-dependent diabetes), some control over noise, and also lack of sleep is a trigger for her (epilepsy).</p>
<p>The first year, she had a single through the disabilities office. There was often a huge amount of noise outside her room, even with RA-sponsored parties and study breaks. But she really loved having her own space,and knowing that she could be alone whenever she wanted to.</p>
<p>The second year, she wanted to be a “good sport” and refused to ask for special accommodations in housing, even though she easily qualified. She did say, however, that she would need a door to shut. Some dorm rooms are suites with individual rooms, or some are doubles with a large room and a small room: in order to get the door, she took the tiny room and has to walk through her roommate’s larger room to get to the bathroom, or the outside door.</p>
<p>She has a roommate who also likes quiet ( they both use headphones), and, though their sleep schedules are different, it is working out well. They are not buddies, but exchanged Christmas gifts and watch out for one another in some ways. It has been a good experience: she didn’t think she could do this, and I am so proud of her for stretching herself in this way.</p>
<p>I would say that the situation this year is quieter than last year, so you can’t really tell beforehand if a single is going to do it.</p>
<p>She does go to the library and other spaces to work, as do most students. This is not a hardship, and she has actually made some friends going out this way: it is better than staying in one’s room all the time, in some ways.</p>
<p>When our daughter had a flare, she was offered a single room by the administration, to help her. She still refused. She feels that she gets more respect by suffering the same housing disadvantages as anyone else, and when the time comes for an accommodation that she really needs, she will have more credibility when she says she needs it.</p>
<p>Our kids shared rooms growing up, and did all their work in the midst of the kitchen, where the computer is. This felt like deprivation during high school, but it served them well in college, I guess.</p>
<p>I can’t imagine choosing a school on this basis, and I think that you will find this is a false criterion anyway: as many have pointed out, you really can’t control the noise aspects of freshman life very well. It is good to counsel flexibility and the positives of the experience, perhaps.</p>
<p>Great post, Compmom.</p>
<p>I agree that even with a single, you can never predict how noisy it will be in the dorm. But I think choosing a school for the availability of singles makes a lot of sense. Beyond the academics, the college experience is most affected by the living situation and I think it’s wise to think about this beforehand and select for living space if it’s important to the student.</p>
<p>The adjustment to doubles can be a huge distraction and I think it’s a great idea to avoid it if at all possible. My junior daughter has a single (in an apartment) for the first time this year and just having a door to close has made an enormous difference in her state of mind. She is very outgoing and social and got along with her former dorm roommates, but has always hated living in a double, as does my son. I felt the same way in college and envied those few kids in singles. They were all happy and joined in the socializing, but were able to close the door when they needed. There is nothing “normal” about the college experience of living in doubles – it’s a fairly new American custom and I personally feel the experience is more often negative than positive.</p>
<p>momofsongbird - I wish your D and my D could live together. My D is a vocal performance major and leads the same lifestyle. She loves her solitude, quiet time and likes to get her sleep. She struggled with the roommate situation freshman year but has found a good match this year. She will live off campus next year and is really looking forward to having her own room again. So there are others out there like her. There are ways provided by colleges to screen roommates to a degree, but lots of kids who think they like to sleep and have quiet time find they don’t after they get there. It is important for roommates to go over expectations very early. That will help avoid problems later. Telling your roommate the first week of school that you will not tolerate her bringing a drunk boy to the room at 2am in the morning is much easier than trying to express that while it is happening.</p>
<p>WUSTL has some singles available to freshmen, but I don’t think they will guarantee one - you can request it as a preference, but after that it’s a lottery type of process…</p>
<p>I’m not sure that I’ve ever heard of any college that will guarantee that a student will be assigned a single room, even if that college is one of the few that have an abundance of singles for freshmen. As someone else has said, you will not get your housing assignment until sometime during the summer months, sometimes only a few weeks before school begins. </p>
<p>Even if she were to get a single, it is unrealistic to expect that there will not be noise in a dorm, and usually, lots of noise! Learning to adapt, even if it’s only mildly, is a requirement for college kids. Going in without that very real expectation is a recipe for disappointment and problems.</p>
<p>These earplugs are great BTW. </p>
<p>[Earplugs</a> (Seven pair of Hearos) - Magellan’s Travel Supplies](<a href=“http://www.magellans.com/store/In_Flight_Comfort___Earplugs___EyeshadesIF362?Args=]Earplugs”>http://www.magellans.com/store/In_Flight_Comfort___Earplugs___EyeshadesIF362?Args=)</p>
<p>You might also check into living/learning communities at some schools i.e. there may some that have “quiet halls”. As well, some schools have perks for their honors program that includes housing in either a dorm or at least hall for those in the honor program. That may not indicate it is necessarily quieter though!</p>
<p>These days, I think the more realistic inquiry is whether your daughter is likely to be in a freshman forced triple (three kids in a room designed for two). I’m quite amazed that any schools offer singles to freshmen when so many are tripling them up and requiring upperclassmen to live off campus. </p>
<p>I grew up virtually an only child (much older siblings), quiet and reserved, jealous of my privacy, never having been to overnight camp or any other shared space situation. I was pretty horrified at the prospect of a roommate (to say nothing of communal bathrooms). But I adapted and survived just fine. I did often study in the library, but that was a positive–there were social aspects (grousing about the reading with classmates, taking coffee breaks with fellow students), plus it’s just a healthy thing to get up and out in the evening rather than holing up in one’s room. I think you daughter will find she’s much more flexible than she thinks. And since she’ll be adapting to the habits and lifestyles of others for the rest of her life–co-workers, neighbors, bosses, spouse(s!)–it’s not a bad idea to learn how to bend at this point in life.</p>
<p>Off the top of my head, Swarthmore houses ALL first-years in doubles (although some may have a single within a 3-room quad), whereas nearby Haverford has a significant % of freshman singles. I think one of Williams’ two main frosh housing systems is mostly singles. How does she feel about divided doubles? (One outside door, but a wall and door separating the room.) I know Bowdoin and Reed have a significant number of those for freshmen.</p>
<p>Thanks! Hadn’t encountered St. Norbert, but website looks like it’s a good option for D in many ways (including the buyout). We will visit this spring.</p>
<p>Very grateful for all the thoughtful responses! Especially appreciate those of you who understood/empathized with this type of teen…not anti-social, spoiled, or inflexible," just beyond-her-years in terms of knowing how she likes to live and what type of surroundings/environment have helped her to be successful and happy in life up to this point. She is thinking over whether a double room on a designated “quiet floor/study floor/academic floor/honors dorm” might be an option. Also, thanks to those who pointed out that we won’t actually know whether she has a single until long after we’ve made the decision of where to go. (Although the buyout option at St. Norbert looks to be a pretty sure-bet if that’s the way she chooses to go.) Thanks, too, for the other schools mentioned. We will continue to explore, and appreciate all your thoughts and insights!</p>
<p>At Williams, half the frosh have singles, half have doubles. Choice of student. Student indicates choice by deciding to live on the “Frosh Quad” – closer to the heart of campus, seen as more social and the land of doubles, or “Mission” – cell-like singles.</p>
<p>Both housing choices have common rooms and an entry system.</p>
<p>DS chose Mission, must to the consternation of his sister who insisted a roommate is an intrinsic part of the frosh experience. </p>
<p>He was very happy with his choice. Because the entire dorm is singles, everyone is looking for friends, and he had a very coherent, bonded entry.</p>
<p>Those on the Quad seem happy too.</p>
<p>He is a junior and has his third single. This one is as large as studio apartment, and he has imported into it: a second bed, (hm, haha), a couch, a refrigerator, a microwave along with the desk and dressers.</p>
<p>Quite commodious.</p>
<p>He has really loved having a single, and at Williams you’re not a zebra if you do; you’re still a very well-represented (50% of frosh, and upwards from their for upperclass folk) horse.</p>
<p>Do not consider St Norbert for your top student- she can get a much better education at so many other schools. You can investigate private dorms, more costly than public, at UW-Madison easily to insure you get the housing you want with other freshmen.</p>
<p>Come up with a list of schools (even 10-30) that seem a good fit and THEN investigate the dorm possiblities. Your D does not want to end up at a school with limited academic possiblities and other nonacademic limits just to have her own room. She will be maturing as she searches and may decide school A is worth the possibility of having to share a room. One thing to consider is that the school she goes to will have like minded students- they all chose that school.</p>
<p>Boy, that sounds terrific. Now if we can just move Williams into the Midwest… :)</p>
<p>Well, maybe geographical preference is negotiable if there is love?</p>
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<p>Isn’t that the truth?</p>
<p>My kids have always had their own room at home, so I was surprised that both WANTED roommates at college.</p>
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<p>mythmom, he can’t possibly be a junior already! :)</p>