Single vs. Roommate Freshman year

<p>D. is going back and forth about whether to try for a single freshman year (about a quarter of freshmen get one at Beloit, but they're assigned on a first come first served basis.) On the one hand, she says she loves the idea of having a private (though small) space, and not as many distractions when she's studying. On the other, she's worried that she won't get the full "college experience" if she doesn't have a roommate, and may have trouble meeting other people. So, does anyone have any thoughts/experiences about single dorm rooms freshman year vs. having a roommate. Pro's, con's, and things to consider. Thanks!</p>

<p>Hi Carolyn, </p>

<p>Our oldest son started with a roommate in a small dorm room with a small kitchenette at UCSC. He adjusted and learned some tolerance for the 2 am study habits of his room mate. He always had his own room at home so his transition wasn't with out some pain. We considered it a growth opportunity for him. He now lives off campus in a big house and has his own room in a 5 bedroom house. He is much happier.</p>

<p>Sweetkidsmom, That's how she thinks of having a roommate - kind of like eating your spinach, it will be good for you. On the other hand, she also is sorely tempted to put down "single" on her dorm request and see what happens. </p>

<p>Anyone else have any input?</p>

<p>I think it would be great if all schools started freshmen out in singles and then made them room up as sophmores. By that time they'd at least know who they might want to room with. It's just such a crap shoot and I think too many freshmen get off on the wrong foot because of a nightmare roommate. </p>

<p>I know -- I used to be of the "get over it" school of thought, but I feel bad for kids who are not only adjusting to everything new, but may have a truly horrible roommate too.</p>

<p>Well, that doesn't address your particular daughter's decision (where she will be in the monority of kids without roommates), but that's my 2 cents.</p>

<p>Daughter was assigned a single at Muhlenberg , and at first was upset about not having a roommate and having those collegiate experiences. Now three months later it proved to be a WONDERFUL thing, and no regrets. </p>

<p>Why be at the mercy of the Roommate Gods? I say keep whatever control you can have over the "collegiate" experience. Read about some of the Roomie horror stories to know that he OFTEN does not GO well!! D says several students she knows are doing room changes at Muhlenberg!</p>

<p>Turns out there are several other singles in her hall, and when she keeps her door open, it is easy to find buddies. </p>

<p>My vote = single.
(and this is from someone who still keeps in touch with her freshman roommate and LOVED the whole experience )</p>

<p>My D decided that she wanted roommates, just so she would not hole up in a single. Even though the 3 others are not her company of choice, they get along well, look out for each other, and seem to share a decent camaraderie. She has already picked out (different) roommates for next year, but acknowledges that they may not like each other as much if they have to live with each other!! I think it can be a wonderful experience in tolerance, and also makes you appreciate your siblings a little more!!</p>

<p>I'm a student who just finished his first semester at NMSU. I had a single and loved it. At least I got to study. If you have a roommate, be prepared for a lot of sleepless nights.</p>

<p>Just thought I'd offer some real-world advice, having actually been through three months...</p>

<p>Can she go single now and change it soph year after she meets potential roommates?</p>

<p>some people hit it off with their roommate right away and stay up having long conversations and become really close. and at my college at least, most people study in the library anyway so it's not a question of not having quiet time to study in your room.
but for me, having a roommate my first year was a nightmare. whenever i needed to be alone, i never had a space to just think or have private phone conversations. my roommate made me feel guilty for sleeping in because she woke up so early every day. most colleges have some kind of roommate matching system, but it wont be as good as your daughter's intuition for who she will live well with. it is definitely easy to meet people when you have a single, and you dont have to worry about your friends not getting along with those of your roommate. especially if 25% of beloit's first years get singles - they wont all be hermits.
for me, it would have been better to have a single this year (having a roommate drastically influenced my happiness at college) and then next year pick my own roommate if i decided i wanted one.</p>

<p>To my surprise, my S met another guy at admitted students weekend who actually <em>liked</em> the music he listened to every waking moment (which most people couldn't stand); they corresponded all summer and decided to room together. They were placed on the floor of the dorm they both wanted. But, there were no doubles, and there was a need to "crowd" because the class was over-subscribed, so they were doubled in a single room. They both disliked having to climb over each other and have no space for their stuff and no closet space, but were stuck with it given space considerations. They got along fine and were working things out, but it was stressful. Before the end of first semester a tiny single came available and they now each have a small single, which they both seem to like better. They're on a pretty social hall and everyone leaves doors open anyway, in no way are they isolated. But it probably would have been better to go for a single in the first place. S plans to stay in a single on the same hall (this room or a nearby one) for the next 3 years, so I guess he likes the set-up.</p>

<p>D1 had a single in the dorms, mainly due to problems with insomnia- it was perfect, for her, her sleep issues would have disturbed others.</p>

<p>Since that year, she has lived off campus and the roommate issues (not sharing a room, but a house) have convinced her it was great to have a single. The issues in a rental are different- who leaves the lights on, who cleans at move out, etc., but based on personality, D is a single all the way.</p>

<p>D2 is in a dorm triple in an awkward situation, 2 other girls who are of the same race, different than D, and became friends over the summer and chose to room together...so D2 is a real odd man out- she likes a roommate sitation and is slowly making friends with the girls, one is much more open than the other, a room with others is perfect for her, even with problems.</p>

<p>I think it is personality. D1 would prefer a single to sharing her space with any one! D2 would prefer company, even if it is not good yet, but has potential.</p>

<p>I had a single as a freshman and loved it. You can have company/socialize whenever you want. Just leave your door open or head down to the common room. Friends love to visit you BECAUSE you have a single. Even if you have a wonderful roomate, it's so nice to be able to head back to your room and study, rest etc. Great when you're not feeling well to be able to take a nap or go to bed early. I remember many friends who while they loved their roomate, got fed up with the roomate's friends who were always in the room too. My daughter plans on asking for a single. The test I gave her: Think of when your best friend sleeps over for a few days. Is it a relief to have your room back to yourself? Yes she said. And this is how you feel about your best friend in the world. No guarantee that you'll even like your roomate.</p>

<p>Think about your daughter - social butterfly or diehard introvert, takes everything to heart, or rolls with the punches? My DD is a diehard introvert who rolls with the punches who I think has benefited greatly from having a roommate. This is a decision made best with who they are in mind, a little discussion of worst case scenarios might be in order. For some kids having a single would mean never getting out and meeting people, for other kids it might be their only opportunity to study.
She has enjoyed living with a roomie, has thought about trying for a single next year, but would prefer some sort of common room arrangement - a little more privacy, but still with roomies.</p>

<p>Carolyn,</p>

<p>I'm a freshmen and I have a roommate. I think it has been for the best. My roommate and I lead different lives and it works out really well. Although, my closest friend here has a single and she loves it. So it probably works out either way.</p>

<p>As to studying: the best place is the library in either case. Whether my roommate is around or not, I study at the library. When you live in a dorm there is no such thing as "a" roommate; everyone on the floor is more or less a roommate and at your door. Studying is best in the sacred space of the library: I spend almost all of my non-social life there.</p>

<p>I'd go for the roommate if I were your daughter, but whatever she gets, the library is the place to study.</p>

<p>What is she going to do when she finds a significant partner? Its like only for 9 months with a lot of breaks in between. Good training-experience.</p>

<p>Hi Carolyn -- Congrats on your daughter's acceptances. Sounds like she has made a decision?</p>

<p>On the roommate issue, I agree that good arguments can be made both ways. Taking potluck with a stranger in living quarters the approximate size of a teacup can turn out to be a great experience, an awful one, or something in between. In any event, it will always be a character-building experience. I think a double that is 100% shared carries the highest risk. But a single can feel a little isolated for a first-year. Maybe the best option for kids who don't want to go the single room route is the triple or quad where common areas are shared, but where each student has his/her own tiny "bed" room: At least there's a miniscule amount of private space.</p>

<p>I'm a freshman, and I guess you could say that I'm fairly introverted. I love having a roommate. Sure, we don't get along sometimes, but we've actually become pretty good friends and I think that I've become more outgoing and open just by having to live with someone. And dorms are terrible to study in, roommate or not--most people I know study in the library.</p>

<p>my daughter had a single freshman year- without even asking for it!
the way her dorm was set up- it was small ( 28 students) with divided doubles a few singles and perhaps a divided triple- her room was just about 2 down from the common room so everyone had to pass her room to go out ( also was right next to laundry room) so her hallway got a lot of traffic
She had to shut her door to get privacy- but if it was open it was full of people- she also is fairly quiet and not the most social person- although admittedly compared to other Reedies she does have highly developed social skills ;)
So while she was intially concerned about a single- it turned out to be a blessing as she could have control over her rooms coming and goings.</p>

<p>DS was assigned a single at his visiting school. Typically, freshmen are not allowed singles. But he was "late to the party", arriving after the Katrina evacuation, and only this single room was available in the Freshman dorm. I wondered - as S is not the self-starter in his social group, relying on friends to get things going. Further, he missed Orientation and any starting of friendships which might have happened there. In his case, the floor-mates (co-ed dorm by floor) welcomed him with open arms; he learned to prop his door open when "available", and got the best of both worlds. I could clearly see that he was "integrated" and part of the dorm goings-on the times we visited.</p>

<p>Carolyn: I sent you a pm earlier.Just wanted to be sure you saw it.</p>