<p>First, I don't make a habit of coming into the college life forum but I want to get an idea as to what you are all spending per month on entertainment.</p>
<p>My oldest S is a new freshman at a school in NYC so I know that costs are higher BUT he is spending way too much money on entertainment and shopping, etc. and will be out of money by the end of the first semester if he keeps it up. And while I am not naive enough to have failed to consider the possibility, I am absolutely certain that he is not doing drugs.</p>
<p>I don't think he's quite adjusted to the budget of a college student just yet and I am unwilling to give him additional spending money if he runs out since I am providing his education (in full) and a modest grocery budget. So how can I help him reign in his spending before it's too late? Is overspending at the start of college a common occurence that is usually remedied once it has been pointed out? And what exactly is a reasonable amount of spending money for a college student in NYC?</p>
<p>BTW, we're from the area so it's not as if he got sucked into the bright lights of the big city. He's well aware of the many free or low cost events in NYC.</p>
<p>Thanks for any thoughtful replies you may have for me.</p>
<p>I don’t really spend any money on entertainment… Except maybe on computer hardware, and if you call eating out entertainment, that too. Other than that, nothing.</p>
<p>It’s usually remedied once you’ve got to eat Ramen for a few weeks because you’re out of money. If you don’t give him any more than he needs for food and education it’ll sort itself out.</p>
<p>As for how much is usually spent, that really depends on your hobbies and where you are, NYC being a pretty expensive place to be. If you go out to eat a lot then you’re going to blow through money, fast. If you’re going to movies or plays at expensive theaters a lot you’re going to blow through it fast too.</p>
<p>But like I said, the best way for him to learn about budgeting his entertainment budget is to see what happens when he runs out and isn’t able to go out with his friends for a little while. Unless he has a credit card, in which case uh oh.</p>
<p>I agree-I spend money mostly on eating out. Every once in a while I splurge and go to a concert or something similar. (but that’s once in a WHILE, ie maybe once a year.) On eating out, I spend maybe $20-$30 a month.</p>
<p>Hmm, lets see. Well I don’t really go out on the weekdays, I go to campus events/hang out with friends on campus… but on weekends I can spend a lot of money. Just recently I decided to put myself on a budget because I would blow all my money in one day, and couldn’t go out until I got paid about 2 weeks later… I trying for 30 dollars each weekend… which is really hard, but I know if I want to get groceries and pay for other life expenses I have to stick with that.</p>
<p>Anyway… Since you’re S is a freshman, he may want to explore the city more than an upperclassman… so I’d say about 80 dollars a week could be a good budget.</p>
<p>just keep watch over his bill and ask him what he spent so-and-so dollars on if you are suspicious. my parents did after i bought an extra textbook and an online homework access code. it’s not awkward at all you’re his mom :)</p>
<p>If he really can’t control his budget, do something about it. Change his money supply to monthly or something… it seems like he gets money every semester. Just divide the remaining amount by however many months there are left, empty his account, and give him money by the month. Once he actually has a sense of money, he’ll figure out what to do and you can give him large sums of money again.</p>
<p>Tell him to get a job. I didn’t learn to budget until I ran out of money. Money is there to be spent, not sit in a checking account. He’ll learn to budget.</p>
<p>Seriously, if the only reason he isn’t blowing his budget is because you tell him he can’t then as soon as he goes off and gets a job where you don’t have oversight over his monetary situation he’s going to have to learn the lesson then, and it’ll hurt a lot harder when he isn’t getting food room and board money from somewhere else. Let him make his own mistakes now, as long as he isn’t in danger of starving or ending up on the street.</p>
<p>I went a little crazy with the spending my first semester in college too. I was finally away from home and my school’s right outside of LA and I loved the freedom. My parents were really nice and would keep refilling my account every time I’d drain it…but it got out of control and they ended up cutting me off completely. </p>
<p>I was spending on new clothes, shoes, and accessories, eating out, concerts, pretty much whatever came up.</p>
<p>$0. I have no money and haven’t been able to find a job so I don’t go around spending money I don’t have.</p>
<p>Your son is an adult now. He needs to get a job and be able to fund his own spending habits. He especially needs to learn how to create a budget and stick to it. I imagine school in NYC cost an arm and a leg just for tuition alone, you don’t need to add credit card debt to that.</p>
<p>I think he’ll have a hard time finding a job while he’s in school because he’s a Theatre major and there is little time between classes, rehearsal, lab hours, etc. It’s not that he has no free time at all, it’s just that the hours of his schedule are very irregular. And I’d prefer it if he just learned to budget his money better instead of adding a job to his already crazy schedule so he can continue to spend. I expect him to work during Christmas break and of course, during the summer. </p>
<p>He has his spending money in a checking account and it is money he earned from work, scholarships, graduation gifts, etc. I didn’t give him any of it and I don’t plan to refill the account if he blows it all. I happen to be joint on the account which is how I found out about the crazy spending in the first place. We set it up that way so I could easily transfer money from my account to his for his monthly grocery budget and to reimburse him for books. </p>
<p>And he DOES have a credit card now and while there is enough money to cover the cost if he maxes it out, there won’t be for very much longer. And I am not on that account so I can’t do anything about it. I think he’s usually a very responsible kid and I don’t think there is too much danger of him getting into terrible financial trouble here…like, the kind that would ruin his credit or have him paying off debt FOR YEARS. He’s not going to end up on the streets or starving. But I also think I need to step in at this point which is why I wanted some feedback on what is reasonable. </p>
<p>So I think I will probably leave the money in the account and monitor it more closely this second month of school and ask him to account for exactly where all the money went and if he is unable to get his act together, I’ll be forced to clean out the account and give him his spending money monthly along with the grocery money. I’m not crazy about that idea because he’s had an ATM card for two years and had always been able to manage his money before but I don’t see that I will have any choice. He will have to learn to budget his money and understand the difference between his wants and his needs or he will have to learn to survive on zero money. Way better to learn how to budget NOW then having to ask the Bank of Mom to bail him out later when he’s on his own and can’t make his rent.</p>
<p>And rutgerskid…seriously? You can’t find anything better to spend your money on? C’mon!! :)</p>
<p>Who cosigned for the credit card? If there are issues on the credit card it becomes the cosigner’s problem. The cosigner might want to know about this complication if s/he doesn’t know already. In my humble opinion, freshmen in college don’t need a credit card, and a debit card can be used for just about everything freshmen are buying. (Credit cards are useful for making hotel reservations and renting rental cars, but I doubt this is a huge concern for your son right now). There aren’t as many college freshmen with credit cards as you would expect, because of the new regulations for those under 21.</p>
<p>Also, in my humble opinion, you can’t “take back” HIS money. However, you may dole out YOUR money in any manner you see fit.</p>
<p>"I think he’ll have a hard time finding a job while he’s in school because he’s a Theatre major and there is little time between classes, rehearsal, lab hours, etc. It’s not that he has no free time at all, it’s just that the hours of his schedule are very irregular. "</p>
<p>My S is a senior theater major, and has always been responsible for earning his own college spending money – including for books. He does this by working summer jobs plus working 8-12 hours a week in campus jobs. Even though he’s a theater major, he has found jobs on campus that he can do while still being involved in theater. His current job begins at 9 am on Fridays, which S chose to do even though he’d prefer to start his day later.</p>
<p>He is very careful with his money – a better and more disciplined consumer than I am – and when he can’t afford to do things, he simply doesn’t do things. He is taking 29 hours this semester (4 classes–including 2 reading-intensive ones-- plus getting credit for hours working theater crews/tech). He has been on Dean’s List throughout college despite being a 2.7 gpa high school student. Amazing how focused and motivated students can be when they are doing something they love and are helping to pay for.</p>
<p>People learn to budget by, typically running out of money at first, and then learning how to make due and plan ahead.</p>
<p>I don’t think you should feel responsible for giving your son more $ if he runs out of what you’re giving him each semester/month. There are plenty of cheap and free activities to do on any college campus and – considering how busy theater majors are – I’d be surprised if your S had much time to be spending on entertainment that costs money.</p>
<p>I was the same way in college. I worked summers and school year to pay for my entertainment and books and didn’t run out of money, something that wouldn’t have been the case if I were relying on my parents largesse.</p>
<p>+1. Ever since I was 16, I’ve had no allowance from my parents–on my 16th birthday, my mom basically said “Happy birthday, get a job.” I’ve learned to be fiscally responsible for myself, but I still went crazy with spending my freshman year of college. I ended up with $40 in checking and next to nothing in savings when I ended the year, despite having about $3000 saved up from 2.5 years of work. Luckily I landed a paid internship this summer so I was able to save up quite a bit again, and I’ve been far better at regulating myself this year than last.</p>
<p>Money management isn’t really something that can be taught. When your son has to miss out on some awesome opportunities because he simply can’t afford him, he’ll learn (as I did) how to do better the next go-around so that he doesn’t miss that same chance twice.</p>
<p>Why would you be forced to clean out his account? I know that you’re a joint holder on the account for purposes of groceries and books, but the money in the account is his and his alone. Despite the fact that you may not approve of how he’s spending it, it doesn’t seem fair for you to take it and impose a budget on him.</p>
<p>If he runs out of money, you will not need to “bail” him out. I’m assuming he has a meal plan through his school, so he won’t starve. He simply won’t have money for entertainment anymore, which can be remedied by getting another job or, if he doesn’t have time, waiting until the summer (and thinking about how he will budget better next year). </p>
<p>Also, I don’t know how much $ he went to school with, but my parents and I have a similar agreement (they pay for books and necessities such as toiletries, groceries, and most of my clothes, but I cover everything else), and they required me to have $4,000 saved before I went to school this year (and Nashville isn’t remotely as expensive as NYC). I actually ended up with more than that due to graduation gifts, but I think most college students that have to cover their own spending money (and really, if they don’t, when are they going to grow up?) shoot for $3-5k for the year.</p>
<p>He didn’t need a cosigner because it’s a student credit card account. As he is 18, he was able to obtain this card without parental consent in spite of the new regulations supposedly making it more difficult to get credit. But truthfully, I had no problem with him having a credit card as long as it was understood that it is to be used wisely, meaning spending within your means, and paid off monthly. I personally prefer using credit cards to debit cards because it is easier to remedy problems with charges on the account but I do know people who prefer debit cards because they have no self control when it comes to spending. </p>
<p>I agree I can’t just take his money now and dole it out to him as I see fit and that would be a last resort. But in the long run, he might appreciate that option more than me letting him spend his account down to nothing in his first semester of college. As I said, the spending here is unnecessary and excessive. Nobody on here indicated they are spending anywhere near what he has spent on dinners and shows and clothes and itunes and groceries and decorations for the apartment. But I’m willing to give him another month to get it together. There will be several conversations between the two of us before it gets to that point.</p>
<p>@northstarmom</p>
<p>So I guess it is POSSIBLE for him to get a job even though he’s a Theatre major but you missed the part about me not wanting him to get a job just to continue spending. I WANT him to reign it in. Although if he’s working he sure won’t have the time to spend! </p>
<p>And I don’t feel he’s relying on my largesse. It is my choice and I am quite fortunate to be able to provide him with an undergraduate education but I have no intention of providing him with money to be spent for his entertainment. I haven’t in the past and I see no reason to do so now. He has been working professionally since he was 10 years old. He’s no stranger to hard work. But I think that work at Christmas and during the summer should provide enough for him to enjoy throughout the year if he budgets properly. The fact that I feel he has not yet budgeted properly is what led to the questions in this thread.</p>
<p>@karabee
You and a few others have confirmed what I already suspected. That even responsible kids can go overboard in some ways the first semester of college. Some kids go out drinking. Some skip classes. Some apparently spend more than they should. And running out of money means missed opportunities which can lead to better budgeting for the future. </p>
<p>I wouldn’t clean out his account without talking to him about it. I would do it if he felt it would help him budget better before it is too late. And he does not need my approval to determine what he can spend his own money on but his actual NEEDS are few. </p>
<p>His school does not offer a traditional meal plan because the dorms are apartments with a full kitchen. It is expected that students prepare their own meals and use declining balance dollars as a supplement only hence the grocery budget I provide. I do not expect that he will starve but he may end up on a diet of Ramen noodles as has been suggested. Apparently, according to other posters, he will live and can manage without having any money whatsoever. </p>
<p>I also feel your projected budget is reasonable. His spending far exceeds that after the first month.</p>
<p>"I guess it is POSSIBLE for him to get a job even though he’s a Theatre major but you missed the part about me not wanting him to get a job just to continue spending. I WANT him to reign it in. Although if he’s working he sure won’t have the time to spend! "</p>
<p>Honestly, if he is willing to work to support his desires, that seems reasonable to me as long as he maintains whatever gpa you’ve agreed upon for you to continue supporting his college education.</p>
<p>Considering the low possibility of getting well paying employment in theater, it would be good for him to either learn to scale back his needs or to take whatever work will support them.</p>
<p>My theater major son’s needs and wants are very limited. He’s not a clubber nor into expensive material goods. There’s every indication that he could live happily on the kind of income that people make in the theater field. Despite his attending a college where lots of rich kids go and where there’s expensive shopping right of campus, he has never felt deprived because he’s doing what he loves – theater.</p>
<p>If, however, he had felt badly that he couldn’t go to the expensive restaurants, etc. that many other students are going to, that would have been a big red flag that he probably would need to select a career where he’d be likely to make more money. Better to learn that in college than after pursuing a major that wouldn’t give him a good chance of attaining the kind of lifestyle he wanted.</p>
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