<p>I think everyone should always post the names of schools, so that we can get a balanced picture - the good, the bad, and the ugly.</p>
<p>A travel hiccup or miscommunication can happen anywhere. Emptynest2 gave some good advice on preparations to make whenever you’re expecting to connect with someone you don’t personally know. Get their cellphone number in advance. Know where you’re going, and research some alternatives in case original plans fall through. It’s just common sense to have a backup plan.</p>
<p>
Fair enough. My son went to a few admitted students events last spring. At Rice the volunteer host just couldn’t do the job, and what impressed my son the most was that the host’s roommate saw what was going on and immediately filled in. He took my son to play basketball with his friends and to a comedy club on campus. Then they dropped in on several groups of freshmen and prospies where my son got to chat with lots of other students and start to get a feel for who he might be living with for the next four years. And he chose Rice and is very happy there now.</p>
<p>If you are really that curious, the OP only has 19 posts. All except one were made on the parents forum.</p>
<p>YabbaDabbaDude, I think the school is absolutely at fault and the host was, well, rude. Sounds like your son has some other choices, hope they are a lot better!</p>
<p>When my son went for his overnight visit (during the big get-together for admitted students), he and a lot of other students ended up sleeping on the lawn–in April! In the Northeast! The guy who was supposed to host him said that my boy couldn’t stay in his room because there was no room because he had too much beer in there for the child to lay down his sleeping bag. So that was pretty sucky. On the other hand, he has been a host, too, and some of the kids he hosted were not so charming, either, like a boy from some little town in Nebraska who was obviously the genius of his hometown and obviously thought he was far superior to the students at this very top college and was negative about everything. I do have to say that anybody who doesn’t like loud noises and slamming doors at 1:00 in the morning had better not live in a dorm. I believe that is the hour at which the door slamming and loud noises officially start.</p>
<p>Friend of ours went to the official overnight at one of the colleges to which he was accepted. Host offered him some pot and booze, friend declined, at which point the host left for a party. Friend ran into some young women in the dorm (also prospies) with their hosts. Friend went bowling and for ice cream sundaes with six young women who remain his friends today. Roommate eventually showed up and let our friend crash on the floor. Yes, he did choose that school.</p>
<p>Both my kids were offered alcohol at school visits, but both said it was pretty low key and noone cared if you drank or not. Was not a determining factor in whether to attend, as they both (rationally and accurately) assumed it would be far from the last time they would have to make that choice.</p>
<p>As far as sitting in on classes – my kids made their own arrangements with profs. Did not choose to sit in on classes from the selected list offered by the admissions office. Never had a problem getting to sit in, and usually the prof stayed around to talk afterwards. A couple of times a prof would let my kid know there was a test or guest speaker in case he wanted to sit on something different. A couple of math profs even sent S1 the current problem set so S could follow along with what was being discussed! :eek:</p>
<p>S1 hosts prospies and says it’s a fine balance between entertaining a student vs. letting them discover what interests them about the place. He does make a point of talking about he school and answering questions, and offers to take his guest to one of his classes the next day (or will hook up the prospie to a housemate who is taking something that’s more up the student’s alley).</p>
<p>I figured out what the OP’s school was, but will respect his desire to keep its name private. My D was also accepted to that school, and it clearly has many fine qualities. I will say that it is not Clark, which my D is attending next year. Not that it couldn’t happen there… slacker hosts could lurk anywhere.</p>
<p>I have no such compunction about not naming schools, however, so I will say that my D had a fairly negative experience when she did an admitted student weekend at Dickinson College, which is a very good school. Her host left her in the library for “a half hour” because she had an “emergency” sorority meeting, and returned to collect my D more than 3 hours later. Basically her entire evening to get to know Dickinson kids was spent reading alone in the library… and this is a very social girl. She was a good sport about it, and didn’t mind much, because she had a lot of reading to do for her AP English class.</p>
<p>She was mature enough to not blame the school for the host, but it certainly colored her weekend there, and must have factored in to her decision to turn down their offer of admission and merit aid for a theoretically less prestigious school, Clark-- where she felt very welcomed and at home when she visited.</p>
<p>My dd went for an “admitted students overnight” weekend. We took her there and rented a nearby hotel room while she stayed in the dorm. This was an organized weekend-there was a comedy show, bowling, a movie, a social, that the kids were supposed to go to with their hosts. There were quite a few prospective freshmen there.
Unfortunately my daughter’s host just stayed in her room with a friend all night. And of course my daughter was there too. My daughter read a magazine all night. They never went to anything, and the host was not very nice or friendly. She told my daughter she only hosted because she got paid for it. It was a very poor experience.
The next day we met up with my daughter and went to the day’s scheduled events with her. Of course, we could have done that by going for the day and not staying at a hotel overnight.
My daughter ended up picking another school. (this was a few years ago!)</p>
<p>This should not have happened, but people screw up. It sounds like this visit was the perfect storm of screwups. I’m not saying you shouldn’t be upset, or that your son shouldn’t have a bad taste in his mouth and cross this school off his list. In your place, I might very well fire off an email to Admissions, if only to tell them that your son’s host should never be allowed to host again.</p>
<p>But that’s not the same thing as saying that the school is “moronic.” It’s a school with a decent reputation, and it suits some students very well. Have you ever had a day where everything went wrong? And would you like to judged forevermore based on that one day? Just sayin.</p>
<p>@yabba…There is no excuse for the way your son was treated. At least you got a true picture of the school before you sent your son there. So you should close your letter to them with thank you.</p>
<p>Bookmarked. Son has not been interested in a few overnights, and I guess I won’t push.</p>
<p>I remember that D1 did 2 overnight visits–at one school, her host had just broken up with her boyfriend…NOT a good time to be visiting. At another, admissions office had dropped the ball and forgotten to get her a host. Told her to come back in an hour and in that time, they had scared one up. </p>
<p>I remember the instance of a CC poster whose D was scheduled for an on campus visit and was basically abandoned by her host. Said poster sent an SOS via CC and CC parents were able to salvage the visit by enlisting CC offspring to ride to the rescue.</p>
<p>Stuff happens…when it comes to college students and their schedules. Vent all you want about an awful visit, but be careful that you don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater.</p>
<p>Some colleges have classes any student can shadow, the professor says it’s okay, but maybe they just couldn’t send him off. Was it a large campus? </p>
<p>Some college are much more organized and I’m sorry to hear about your son’s experience. </p>
<p>My friends niece had a horrible overnight and wouldn’t even discuss some of the details, and was disheartened when they gave her the best package. (almost full) She went and this LAC ended up being wonderful, just some students weren’t very good. I would complain they did I think, and she become someone who shadows a student not to give them the experience she had.
I think the college would appreciate the feedback.</p>
<p>I think it’s important to discuss with your kids that they need to be proactive on these visits. My daughter visited Grinnell and had a mismatch with her host. Just way too much pot and cigarette smoking in what was supposed to be a smoke-free dorm. She left that scene, wandered around and eventually crashed with a better fitting host. It wasn’t the right school for her but she got a realistic view which is the whole point of visiting. Even if your child is not outgoing, there is much to be learned by observing the culture around them.</p>
<p>I think in the book the Gatekeepers one of the students profiled also had a terrible visit b/c her host was a complete wack. I always remembered this and thought I wouldn’t want to send my kid for 24 hours for such an awkward experience. I’m sure many other overnight visits are successful but this story creeped me out. </p>
<p>Sorry for your son’s terrbile experience… Definitely vent away ( and give Admissions a run for it!) !</p>
<p>Love the above post with “close your letter with a Thank You”</p>
<p>@emptynest2, you have me beat. My kid would still be in the airport.</p>
<p>All the people who are sticking up for the host, and not for admissions, need to remember one thing: This is not just an issue of one department or a person. This is the issue of some REALLY BASIC qualities, and the lack thereof: kindness and thoughtfulness.</p>
<p>There is no kindness or thoughtfulness in allowing a kid to sit in an office (or as in emptynest2’s case, in an airport) for hours, or anything else that happened during those visits. The host could see what my son was like, and what he did was not very kind. These are VALUES which I hope people use in their daily lives, and if they don’t, then why would I want my son around them?</p>
<p>See, college is a business. When you are courting parents who you want to pay your business $$$$$$ to leave their most precious possessions, their kids, over to you - don’t you want some sense of intelligent life there, you know, an assurance that said business would not allow that sort of thing to happen??? I’m not talking about during a school year, when a kid is a student. At that point, YES they have to learn to deal themselves. </p>
<p>BUT he is NOT their student, YET. You don’t hand people’s not-worldly children over to immature children who aren’t going to do their jobs. We can debate all day over what those jobs are, but in the end, we made arrangements with Admissions. If I can’t trust them with my kid, why would I trust them with my money??? What kind of education will he get?</p>
<p>Just sayin’.</p>
<p>Heard from one of son’s teachers this a.m. They want to set up a group administrative tour of the school, and take him along. Now they gotta sell the guidance counselor and the principal if they want any more kids from our school. ROFL</p>
<p>For some reason, as I said earlier, son DOES still like this school. It was one of his top 2. And, I think for his sake I would rather not post the name.</p>
<p>You know, I keep wanting to click a Like button on several of your posts. Yo, CC…</p>
<p>Ah, it’s nice to see some on a college forum who know how to do research. 
I might only have 19 posts with this S/N, but if you read the first one, there’s a reason.</p>
<p>And yeah, I do like the Thank You. Of course, they’re getting a double Thank You, if the principal really does go down there…lol</p>
<p>You know, it seems to me that one of the takeaways from this might be that an overnight visit poses a significantly high risk of giving a misleadingly bad impression of a school. I don’t blame anybody who’s had one of these experiences for crossing that school off the list (after all, people cross of schools because of the tour guide’s shoes), but the experience may not really be representative of the school. Indeed, the admissions office may be full of boneheads, but that doesn’t necessarily mean the rest of the school is, either. So maybe these overnight visits aren’t worth the risk?</p>
<p>To add: a really fun overnight might also give a misleadingly positive impression of the school.</p>
<p>Reject a school because of a tour guide’s shoes? Really? That’s awfully snooty/stupid/take your pick…</p>
<p>^ It’s rarely because of the ‘shoes’. That simply may be the reason the student articulates when the school just doesn’t feel right. Snooty or stupid? It shouldn’t matter to anyone but the student and their family why they rule out a school.</p>