Barred from college? I feel like a total failure

<p>Please excuse my grammar, its one of the area I’m trying to work on.
Hi parents, disregard my last post about me feeling betrayed and whatnot, I have bigger problem and worry to contend to. </p>

<p>I learn today that if I don’t pass both of my classes this quarter because I am on part-time status, I could be barred from college. I’m extremely worry, and ultimately ashamed of myself with my lack of effort and judgment. Now if I do pass, which is more likely than not, then I would be fine even though my grade are mediocre at best. This is very bad for me, but it not the first time that it has happen, I have escape two other time where it was a “do or die situation” where I had to pass two mandatory class to be able to be a returning student. It’s a shame I have not learn from my mistake not once, but twice.</p>

<p>Now I’m put once against on a pedestal in another unfortunate situation with the board of education or the people who will review my grades and performances if I end up only passing one class. I am not a bad student by any mean. I can handle college materials quite well, but certain circumstances prevented me from doing so. I know it entirely my fault to be in this situation, but I was facing severe social anxiety and depression throughout my freshman and the onward to my sophomore years. I lost countless opportunity to meet friends and I also lost a lot off friends. I was beyond shy; I wasn’t even able to attend half off my class due to the extreme anxiety I was suffering from. Obviously whoever reviews my grades will not take into account what I had to deal with, as my problems are my own problems. Needless to say, I should have done something back then, but I was too afraid to tell my parents my problem. Would they even listen to me this time around? Unfortunately my parents are not so understanding of my dire situation, and continue to pressure me to do well in school. I wasn’t doing well; I wasn’t even capable off interacting with other people. I constantly receive panic attack at least a few times a day, and at one point I skip class for 2 months straight, because I could not handle what was happening to me. I could see my physical, emotional, mental health deteriorate right before my eye. I came to school weighing 150 lbs and left school weighing only 124 lbs. One point it got so bad that my fellow floor mates call the cops on me because they hadn’t seen me for over a week. I was basically locked up in my room all alone and scare of things I had no control over. </p>

<p>Fast-forwarding through time, like my health, my grades were suffering a tremendous impact. I would call my mom crying over the phone constantly explaining to her my situation but she gave the same response over and over again and that was that “everything was going to be fine”. I don’t think she knew how to help me back then nor does she know now. Nevertheless it took me a while to let everything sink in, but then I began to suffer Post Traumatic Stress Disorder because I was so unstable due to lost of friends that the cops had to take me to the mental hospital to inspect if anything was wrong with me. I felt ill and like a criminal, I felt like the world did not care about me anymore just like my mom. I was very trouble, I had friends knocking on my door and other people wanting to get to know me, and I was unable to be anywhere around them or else I would receive a panic attack. These things haunt me on a regular basis.
Now that you know a bit about my history, had I not receives these vicious random disorders, I would not be in the shoe I am right now. I have witness and experience things that many college students would not have, many incidents that my family are not fully aware off, and are not capable of understanding what I go through in life. Though I will not receives any break of what happen to me in the past that was out of my control, and I am left to deal with the consequences that could jeopardize my future, yet I feel extremely guilty and shame. Had I been just like any other students and am doing this poorly, I would not be able to live with myself. I do have a solid reason, I do have document and proof of my disorders diagnosed, however none of that matter to anyone but myself. If I am not worrying about my social life, I am worrying about my college life; it’s a vicious cycle, and one that never seem to end.</p>

<p>I am not quite sure what being barred mean, and I really don’t want to know, but what I do know is that I would have to take a year off and go to a community college. Now that is bad, that is extremely bad, and I don’t even want to think of it. I finally enroll in the theatre art class that I been trying to get in every fall. It’s finally my chance to meet people and hopefully make friends. My depression and social anxiety, panic attacks have improved a lot thanks to countless SSRI drugs and therapy and I’m finally starting to improve. I eat more than once a day, and am quite healthy and fit since I do a lot of walking to class and back. I am back to 150 lbs, and my last physical checkup was satisfactory. I am also a lot more talkative now then I were before, and that after two years of college under my belt, I am sure I won’t make the same mistake again. However if I do get barred from college, all the chances of me making friends will vanish starting with the theatre art class, and if I do return back to this school, I won’t be the same. I would have practically ruin my college life per say and I would have to be a automaton to do well in college without giving much thought to anything but my books and papers. I don’t know what I will do if I get barred, because I don’t think there is anything much worst.</p>

<p>I would like to get all the parents thoughts and advice on this situation of mine. I had an overall GPA of 3.7 in high school and I pass my SAT with a score of 1750. I don’t know if I should feel ashamed and guilty and do you truly believe it is my fault with circumstances that could not be seen beforehand and that it was out of my control to start with. To work so hard in high school by spending countless hours after school through tutoring and independent study only to have it end like this is such a waste. If you were my parents, what would you do and how would you feel? </p>

<p>Thanks</p>

<p>Hello,
I don’t know your parents, but what you can do is go to the college Counseling Office and tell the counselor what you wrote here. </p>

<p>Mainly what I would tell you, if you were my child, is that this is not the end of the world. You can go to a community college for a semester and bring up your grades, for example, and you might like that school better. You may still pass your classes. There are lots of options for you and the path your life will take may not be the one you imagine it to be right now.</p>

<p>Take care of your emotional and physical health.</p>

<p>Please, follow the advice you were given by mom4college, and go to your college counseling office to talk to someone. Don’t wait for an appointment, go over there and tell them that you really need to see someone NOW. The counselors are familiar with the problems students face and know how to help you through this tough time- they are not judgemental, and they won’t tell anyone what you tell them. If you need help dealing with your parents, they can help with that too.It may not happen overnight, but things will look up.College will be there next week, next month, next year- but now is the time to take care of you. Please let us know how you are doing- this is a safe and supportive place and we care.</p>

<p>mom4college said it very well.</p>

<p>Please take care of yourself and hang in there.</p>

<p>If you are under academic suspension, you should check the terms to see if you can attend any other school, even community college. I teach at a community college and we are prohibited from enrolling students who are on suspension at four year schools. If/when students enroll without revealing that and complete classes, the receiving institution will not take them for credit when you return.
Good luck to you.</p>

<p>I agree with the advice to talk to a counselor and tell them everything. The college wants you to succeed. But most places can only help if you ASK for it. This is something I worry about with my own S, that he will not ask for help and it will snowball seemingly out of control, like it has for you. Please ask for guidance at your school, and do your best to hang in there. And if it doesn’t work, take a year or semester off, take some less pressured classes or get a temporary job and figure out how to get things on track. You will succeed, it may just be on a different schedule than you had planned. The very best of luck to you.</p>

<p>It nice to hear that you’re feeling better now with the help of medication and therapy. If I were your parents, I would focus on helping you get better. Once you feel better, than you can tackle whatever obstacle comes your way. </p>

<p>Reach out to your college counseling center. Reach out to your academic advisor. Maybe a meeting can be arranged between your counselor, your academic advisor, the dean, and you in order to discuss a plan for next semester. </p>

<p>Good luck and we’re all hoping for the best.</p>

<p>Collegeboi, please listen to all the advice here. College counseling services keep everything confidential (they will talk to your parents ONLY if you ask them to), and they deal with problems like yours.</p>

<p>If you were my son, I’d tell you that I love you very much and that none of this matters in the long term. Adults can look back and see how once-dire circumstances seem so inconsequential years later. Unfortunately, you are in the midst of your own turmoil so you cannot see the way out. But you will survive.</p>

<p>Get help. That’s the first step. Don’t worry about college until you begin to address your emotional issues. The second step is finding a way to continue your studies. Don’t look down on the community college option; I know lots of bright students who went the CC route until they knew what they wanted to do. It really is not the end of the world.</p>

<p>Good luck!</p>