Been avoiding this topic because I don’t know how to answer it without sadness.
I don’t really care about my kids “having kids” part because that’s on them. In my extended family, there are grandkids everywhere, and I am the “Great Aunt Bea” who bakes and sends them cookies for all occasions based on whatever books they are reading (i.e. The Gingerbread Man, if you Give a Mouse a Cookie, etc.)
I care about the fact that 2 of my 3 kids have never dated anyone. Anyone, ever.
My dd is a wonderful person, great personality, and has tons of friends (male and female) from HS and college, who are all marrying/or married and are in various stages of those relationships.
She did well in her medical school program but was so busy trying to do well, for that demanding discipline, that she didn’t really have time for relationships. She’s still in that field and I see her after she’s spoken with her best friend (re wedding plans), as being really sad. No she’s not the “model magazine” beautiful person and she’s a little chunky like Mom and Dad, but she’s still beautiful. She’s also extremely kind. She’s heading into her 30’s and I think she’s starting to think about it.
Our son had girls waiting, all over the place for him, at his games and matches in high school. In college, he had one girl wandering into his room, all of the time! (I met her and had to kick her out of his room because we had to talk about some financial issues and she just couldn’t take the multiple hints!) He explained to us that she did it all the time and he tried be nice, but she misinterpreted his kindness.
He’s popular and kind, but in high school, he just wanted to focus on top grades and whatever our extended family was doing.
He has had lots of friends (both male and female) in HS and college, but he’s a bit on the shy side and “nerdy”(a lot like his dad) when initiating. He didn’t go to Prom because his “best friends weren’t going” (a number of them were rejected and hurt when they asked). I know that our son was asked (per reports from other parents) so, he and his friends went out for pizza, bowling, and ice cream on prom night.
They both know and love that my husband and I have a great relationship, but I don’t know if that’s is what’s holding them back. “reality versus expectations?”
My daughter has met some real jerks in the med school program and in her internships. Lack of respect and courtesy.
Son doesn’t tolerate women who curse. He believes it to be very disrespectful (as do we). (Although he does it out of earshot! Pot, kettle, black!!!)
DD hates it too.
Eldest, who was recently married, is “training” her new husband not to use it around us. Our siblings (myself and hubby’s), as well as the rest of the extended family, do not use profanity.
(My Daddy’s big “Texan” family, on occasion did, but I understand that my TEXAN granddaddy “brought out the belt” to keep that “in control”.)
I deviate.
Sad, because I have great kids and I want them all to be happy, but not alone as they age. If I were to ever have grandkids, it would be icing on the cake. I just want happy kids.
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