Hey,
I’m looking to become more popular and make friends in college. Currently, I go to a small religious high school, and don’t have very many friends, or even a small circle of close friends. However, when I go to events like summer camp and Model UN, I end up making a good number of friends and people want to sit with me for lunch and stuff. I’d like to feel this popular when I go to college. I’m planning to go to a large state university. However, I am not used to making friends in a school-type setting, and need assistance with how to make this work.
You’ll realize really quick it’s impossible to be the “popular” you’re thinking of unless you’re an all star athlete or coach. Being popular and well known at a “small religious high school” with probably less than 500 people is different than at a 30k+ school…
Why does popularity matter to you? Find close friends in multiple different circles and you’ll feel at home really soon.
Do you do anything different in school and other places you mentioned like camp? If you do, why not use your techniques from the latter?
Throw some memorable parties.
When you go to college, you get to hit the reset button on your social life - you don’t have to be the person you were (or others perceived you) in high school. If you are living on campus, the dorms will allow you to make friends pretty easily. Join clubs, study groups, a recreational sport or class. Make a few good friends, and a large campus doesn’t feel so large and impersonal.
Just join MUN in college or some other clubs/sport that interest you. Be open to new experiences.
Be yourself. You don’t need to do anything special. You’ve already proved you can easily make friends in the right environment.
Nice thing about a large school is that there are more clubs/activities to choose from. Have fun!
I haven’t actually read the entire OP, but I’m gonna say the first thing that comes to mind: Talk! With everyone! And anyone! Especially in your classes freshman year. You will feel uncomfortable and awkward talking to people you don’t know, but it at least means you can add a name to a face. You have to start somewhere. Don’t expect many people to walk up to you and introduce themselves to you–you need to take that initiative.
Have fun!
Being popular is exhausting; you constantly have to groom your “friends” and keep them in your clique with threats, bribes, peace offerings, and favors. You have to throw the best parties, drive the best cars, have the best clothes, all in order to attract a circle of people who only like you for your parties, cars, and clothing.
I can think of so many better things to do with my time, like talking with people who share my interests. Popularity is rarely a meeting of peers or a two way street, and I’m flummoxed by the people who crave it on either side of that triangle (the queen bee or the wanna be).
Think about what it is you are doing at summer camp and Model UN that might be attracting friends: My guess – you are being yourself and enjoying the activities. You have a natural smile on your face and you don’t feel stressed about being in (or not in) a particular group. You chat easily with people about the day’s activities and laugh like you never do in high school.
In these respects, college will be more like summer camp and Model UN than high school. As others have said, make the effort to join groups and engage people and you’ll do great.
^ this tells me you will probably be just fine in college. You know how to make friends, people like you. Just do what you do.
There are certain things one does to become well-liked. I have a feeling you do these things outside of school. Here’s some suggestions:
In order to make good friends, you have to be a good friend
Be a good and active listener. There’s a theory that when you are a good listener, people view you as being a good conversationalist.
Make a fuss over other people. Remember their birthdays and get them a card or post a pic of them on your instagram. When they are sick, check in on them and offer to bring them food or make them tea.
Be warm and friendly and emotionally present.
That pretty much sums it up. If you look at people who are well-liked they often are like what I just described.
Good luck.
Seriously? I will give you some advice that my extraordinarily popular 8th grader does naturally and honestly, the way I was too when young (and still am). DON’T CARE!
continued…do what you like, be confident, be friendly but not overly, be confident, don’t care, do the things you like, don’t care, be confident. The less you care what others think, the more you are confident in who you are…the more others flock to you. That’s really it as far as popularity is…be yourself, friendly and don’t care about popularity. People are drawn to that.
Oh wow, I did not expect one of my posts to become a featured post!! Thank you so much to everyone who responded, you all gave great advice, and I feel much more confident about college life now!!
At your small, religious high school, are you wearing a uniform? Perhaps at summer camp or MUN, you are wearing a more flattering outfit that makes you feel more comfortable - making your more approachable.
Think about what is different in HS vs. these experiences, and what is the same. You will be fine.
Just do you and you’ll find a circle of friends. Even at my small uni there are enough people here that you have to try really hard NOT to have friends.
I was popular in my college for a while for the most ridiculous reason…and let me tell you, it is the most exhausting experience because people know and approach to you and you don’t know a crap about them.
Plus, being popular only counts until high school. You will realize you will not have time to be popular if you become a dutiful student.
What you need are friends who can help you and whom you can help back.
No matter what stage in life you are there will always seem to be popular or with it or whatever kind of people. The truth is, it matters not. That “status” comes and goes. Be yourself and work on genuine relationships. That is what will really matter over time. You’ll see.
When you say you’d like to become popular, what do you really mean: you’re longing for a good, tight circle of friends that you hope to continue to know throughout your adulthood, or, you wish to be “the belle of the ball,” in which you enter a party, the crowd hushes, and all heads turn to look at you? If the former, and you’re lonely, I’d suggest joining clubs that you enjoy because the shared interest will go a long way, as well as having and displaying a genuine interest int he well-being and goings-on of your peers. For the latter…maybe invest in whatever fashion is popular right now (I have zero clue), regular hair and nail maintenance, and having and displaying an outgoing but pretty superficial personality. 
There’s a difference between being popular and being outgoing. Shoot for outgoing. Popularity is overrated – of course, take that with a grain of salt as I was a complete nerd for my undergrad career, but I had a decent sized circle of friends. Shonda Rhimes (the writer for Scandal and How to Get Away With Murder) wrote a really good book about the Year of Yes and how it changed her social life. I’m not sure I would recommend it on top of everything else your freshman year is going to drain out of you, but maybe say yes to more things than you normally would. That’s probably the best advice I can think of.