Been to three colleges, now going back to the first. Wondering if I should just drop out?

Let me first apologize for all of the information I’m about to throw at you. I’ll try to keep it as concise as possible, but I feel like you need all of the info to get a good idea of my situation.

I am 21 and have completed 3.5 years of college, majoring in psychology. I started out at a very small liberal arts college in a very rural town (School A). It was total culture shock to me when I got there. I was there for two years, but always hated it. I was functioning, but incredibly depressed, sometimes even very calmly contemplating suicide. During my sophomore year, I broke my leg pretty severely and had to miss some school. After that I was on crutches for 3 months and felt very helpless (Struggled to get to class, couldn’t go out, couldn’t do almost anything on my own) and it was then that I decided to transfer to a much more prestigious university.

My first semester at School B was amazing. I was taking hands on courses that I loved and I was learning so much. But then my advisor told me I needed to buckle down for spring semester and start taking care of core credits and required courses. I hated them. I felt so lifeless and unfulfilled. I fell into severe depression, struggling to get out of bed and feeling much like I had during my time at School A, potentially even worse.

At the end of my first year at School B, I decided I was not going to go back and instead began taking online courses through School C. During this time, I volunteered, I worked full time, I read many, many books and really took time to develop myself and reflect on who I was and what I wanted. I was very happy during this time. However, when I went to schedule my online courses for spring semester (the current upcoming semester), none of the five courses I needed to graduate were offered. When I contacted my advisor, she basically told me to fill my schedule with electives (that I don’t need) and to try again next semester, with no guarantee on when these courses would be offered again. I felt so panicked and so stuck.

I started looking into other options to complete my degree because, even though it feels worthless (I don’t see myself using this degree in the future/ I don’t need it for what I want to do), I have one semester left and I feel like I should just finish it so that I have that piece of paper that everyone says you need and appease my family. I looked into returning to either School A or School B. School B said it would likely take another 3 semesters for me to graduate, and School A said I could likely graduate in the spring, but likely summer at the latest. School A is clearly my better option since I just want to be done with this.

I was readmitted to school A, but now I feel this crushing sense of being trapped and I haven’t even started the semester. I hate the idea of not being able to work full time and taking these stupid, BS classes that I don’t care about. In addition, because I haven’t lived in the dorms at School A for six semesters (I did 5 semesters at School A and one semester in the dorms at School B), they are saying I do not qualify for off-campus housing. However, because I was taking online courses, I already have been leasing an apartment 15 minutes from School A. I cannot break my lease without paying crazy penalties and I cannot afford to pay the outrageous room and board fee on top of my current rent.

I just feel like nothing is going my way with this college stuff and I am wondering if its even worth it at this point. What do I do about housing? What do I do about college in general? How do I get over the dread I already feel about going back to school? If I don’t finish, how do I face my family?

I really don’t mean to sound whiny or blame my distaste for higher education on depression, but its becoming a big issue and I just feel so helpless/stuck about what to do.

Appeal the off campus housing decision. Tell them you have a lease on an apartment you have been living in close to the school, and can’t afford to break it to move back to campus. Write a polite, non-whiny letter. Explain that you are close to finishing your degree and want to come back for your final 1-2 semesters, but can’t afford to because of your existing lease.

Eyes on the prize. You have one semester left. Go to school A and finish. Don’t waste the opportunity to have a piece of paper that says you pushed through for 4 years and prevailed. Be strong and focused. It will be over before you know it. Good luck!

Get your depression treated (and enough sleep).

That’s the biggest issue.

I have to second PurpleTitan here. Get your depression treated. It sounds like you were moderately happy at the second school until you were forced into taking all major courses. Once you get your depression treated, you will be better able to contemplate the situation and determine what it is you need to do.