<p>Like many of the parents here, we had more regrets and/or second thoughts than our son did. Now he's a sophomore at the college he wanted to attend, his grades are excellent, and he is happy. Any concerns we had are distant memories, and I don't think our experience is unusual. Our son's best friend, who was rejected by his first choice college, is equally happy at another school.</p>
<p>As to longer term regrets, we should have started visiting colleges in the sophomore year and made more than one official visit to each college that our son was considering. While I don't think this would have changed our son's eventual college choice, it definitely would have lessened the "what if's?" by his parents.</p>
<p>My D has no regrets at this point. We were very deliberate with the process...forced by me and my obsession with the process and trying to achieve balance between the best/right schools for her and the level of financial/merit aid she might receive. Therefore she narrowed it down to 6 schools that included a mix of great LAC's and larger, reputable research universities, some of which offer good to great merit aid. She has been accepted to three at this point, including two ED, and will probably be accepted by all six. If I have any regrets, they are related to my inability to get my daughter to take full ownership of the process. Perhaps she came to rely too much upon me? I will utilize what I have learned with my D and let my S take a more active role....at least that is my intention.</p>
<p>Well I'm applying to be a musical theater major, so my situation in a bit different, but I'm sure music majors and the like can relate as well. I applied and auditioned at 10 schools, which was a lot, but I don't regret that, due to the rigorousness of the audition process and the level of competition. The audition process has been great because I've grown enormously as an artist over the last 3 months. There are only a few things I wish I'd done better. First of all, I started my audition campaign off with two schools I really loved that were difficult to get in to, but not completely impossible. Had I done those auditions, say now, I think I would have had a much better shot. I got rejected from one program and I'm awaiting the decision of the second soon. Additionally, I would probably have visisted the campuses of the top 3 mt schools in the country and picked one to apply to early decision. If I didn't get in, I'd still have a ton of options, and, if by some miracle I did get in, I would have been there in a heartbeat. So that's me. Before the process even started, I wish I could had made friends with more teachers. I'm the national honor society vice president, ranked 14 out of 252 kids in my class, took mostly honors classes and a few APs, and am extremely busy and motivated, and I had the most difficult time finding a teacher to write me a recommendation. It was rediculous. Any one of the teachers at my arts school would have written me one, but at my regular school there was always some reason why not. I got one eventually, but it was a trying process.</p>
<p>Regrets?? Where to begin...since neither my H or I attended college, we were truly in the dark.</p>
<p>Definitely should have started looking/preparing earlier. At the very least, should have done the research in his Jr year...instead of the beginning of Sr year. </p>
<p>My biggest fear at this point is $. We were always encouraged to have him apply to private LACs that would in the end possibly be less expensive than state school. We'll have to wait and see if that proves to be true. He has already received four acceptances, one waitlist, still waiting on two more. </p>
<p>Wish I had understood more about how to find out which schools offered more scholarships/grants than loans, etc. when we were in the search.</p>
<p>I wish he had applied to more financial safety schools where he would have been happy. Actually, since he received application waivers, I wish he had applied to more schools, especially if they took the common app. While I'm sure he'll be happy with any of the schools he's applied to, he may have been influenced to not apply to schools too far away since it would have been difficult financially to get home.</p>
<p>Okay, I'm new to this, but i think reading your stories is fascinating and helpful. Any advice on our situation: my daughter (junior) takes all the hard ap/honors classes, is a b student (a slow developer, intellectually) and has a taken ballet (though no star, there) for several years. She volunteers at Habitat for Humanity. She's a nice girl. Really, not brilliant, but nice. </p>
<p>My quandry is this: I know she gets caught up in this "good school" talk and wants to be proud of where she goes, but I know she'd be out of her depth at some of these schools, even if she did get in... She's not taken a whole lot of initiative in the college search process but is intent on getting into a good school. i've come up w/the list, and her reach school would be Simmons or Quinnipiac, but I really want her to go to a less comp school where she'll be able to grow at her pace.</p>
<p>But how do I square this with her wannabe-at-a-good school desires?</p>
<p>I reccomend reading a couple of books...one is !OO Colleges Where Average Students can Excel, by Joeanne Adler. The other is called Colleges that Change Lives...I forget the author. They both give examples of schools off the beaten path that may be a great match for your daughter. I feel really badly for kids who think that they are failures because they don't match well at the name brand schools. There are lots of good and great colleges out there that don't get a lot of attention.</p>
<p>Donna, Great question! I have a B sudent too. In fact Quinnipiac was one of the schools he chose to apply to. Anyway, a way around peer pressure, and the pestige is to have your D focus on what she might major in. Begin looking at departments within the colleges/universities. As she visits, meeting with a department head, or professor within a department, and speaking with current students who are majoring in something she might persue would get her away from focusing on names. You can begin talking about a good "fit" fo her (large vs. small school, research based vs. LAC. Perhaps she wants to participate in a large marching band and you would look at who has a large one, and so on). </p>
<p>We had this problem to a lesser degree with my son. If he heard a comment at his high school about a school not being good (and those were not the words that were typically used :)) then he did not want to look at it. Also, he really never closely examined the average sat scores or other stats of admitted students. If he knew of one student that struggled in some hs subjects, and they were admitted to a particular school, then he felt that school was probably not worth attending, or at least that he could most certainly "do better". </p>
<p>You also might want to consider the kind of school in your budget. You may want to discuss being in the upper 25% in terms of gpa/sat/act scores, b/c this would likely increase your chance at merit aid. This may help to change her focus as well, especially if not doing this will result in more debt for her at the end of the road. You might also discuss the possiblities of her continuing on to grad school. If she gets a graduate degree, then nobody will care where she went for her undergraduate studies.</p>
<p>Thanks, anothermomw/ques -- I've looked at those books; have gotten a couple ideas.</p>
<p>Q for northeastmom--what did you think of quinnapiac? Did your son get in? Suddenly that's a competitive school (in our world, at least...). What did you think of the seniors-live-off-campus policy? What other schools did he like/look at?</p>
<p>Donna, I sent what they call a personal message to you. I just noted that you are new to these board, so welcome! You will find many helpful and knowledgable people here. </p>
<p>I just noticed that in my pm, I did not answer the senior housing question at Quinnipiac, so I will just answer it here. I am not happy about it at all. My largest concern is the driving in ice and snow because he has to get to class. My son does not have a car currently, but probably will need one by then for an internship anyway. I have heard that housing is being expanded, so I am hoping for senior housing by then, should he choose to attend Quinnipiac. You will find as you explore schools that there are positives and negatives to them all. For me, this a negative.</p>
<p>Thanks, northeastmom.. (how do i find out your name? Sorry, i am figuring this all out. Plus how do I send a personal message?)</p>
<p>I really feel uncomfortable w/the senior off-campus thing. The last thing I want to think about is her driving to/fr and dealing w/landlords, etc. during her senior year. That w/come soon enough! It is one of the reasons I like colleges near a city or w/in commuting distance for internships.</p>
<p>I'm loving this site--haven't done a bit of work all day. That's the problem w/being self employed... too easily distracted!</p>
<p>To read a PM, go to the top of any page you're viewing and in the upper right corner is a darker gray box that will say: </p>
<p>"Welcome, Donna101."
You last visited at date/time.
Private Messages: x Unread, Total y</p>
<p>Click on the blue "Private Messages" and it will take you to a screen with your Private Messages. You can Reply to a Message by clicking the "Reply" link in the lower-right corner of the message. Somewhere on the screen over on the left is a link that you click to send a New Message that's not a reply.</p>
<p>Btw, as someone else who is self employed, one of the best times for checking out CC is when one is on hold on the telephone.</p>
<p>Donna, Go to the front page of the "parents forum". Click on private messages (in blue), sorry I have been calling it by the wrong name. My message should be there. You don't need to look up names or anything. It should say that you got a message from me. If you did not, I will try it again, or I will gladly send an email to you, if you have allowed this feature when I click your name ( I am not exactly the most skilled person when it comes to this).</p>
<p>I agree with you about senior housing there, but we are off the topic of results, regrets, which is why I am trying to send a private message.</p>
<p>I think my D would have applied to schools not just in the top 20. Then we would have a better bargaining power and maybe some better schlorship money. We only applied to the ivyies and top schools and they are sooooo competitive it is ridiculous and now she realises her chances are not all that great!!</p>
<p>Ouch! Priti, this can be a good place to look for advice and for comfort. At this point I can only hope that your D gets a couple of acceptances so she has options that she likes!</p>
<p>I regret that I was not (more of) a micromanaging PIA with the colleges to ensure that they got all the material they needed. </p>
<p>Assumed bacause something was sent/delivered/paid electronically that it was properly received and filed by the school. In at least one case, this was not so and I was informed of the missing information far too late in the process. </p>
<p>My D only applied to four schools and was a good merit candidate at each. The hope was to play the schools off against each other based on merit. Given the "missing" information, I am concerned that merit scholarships at that particular school have already been determined/awarded.</p>
<p>My D had one regret. She ended up a National Merit Scholar and wishes she had applied to more schools which give full rides for NM. She was accepted to many good schools we can afford. We really thought she would choose one of them. However, she decided to attend a less prestigous school offering full tuiton/room/board for NM because she would like us to help her with graduate/professional school rather than undergrad costs. She said she should have applied to a few in the south and west that give full rides for NM although she is happy with her choice.</p>