Beginning of common app essay -- critiques, please!

<p>I only have a couple of very, very rough paragraphs down for this essay, but I don't even know if I'm on the right track--if my topic is even worth talking about.</p>

<p>I'd love to PM it to somebody who could read it and be brutally honest. I'd prefer no '09ers and only those who have been here awhile. (I mainly lurk on here, hence the low number of posts :P)</p>

<p>also--I'll be applying to several Ivies, Stanford, WashU, etc.</p>

<p>Thanks!!</p>