<p>And they would loosen up easier if they had some drinks.
It’s like the Circle of Life, sans-Simba.</p>
<ul>
<li><p>There’s nothing wrong with being socially ambitious. Being socially confident and successful are very valuable in life in a lot of ways, both career and personal. But the alcohol scene is one of the worst ways to try to get there. The gains are so minimal, the costs so high. It’s a fool’s game.</p></li>
<li><p>There’s nothing wrong with thinking that alcohol equates with manhood, because that’s what tradition, the media, our peers, and our culture has taught a lot of us. But if you feel insecure deep down about your manhood, all the drinking in the world won’t cover up your insecurities or make you feel any different about yourself when the party’s over.</p></li>
<li><p>The same goes for wanting to be well-liked. All the appreciation in the world for being a “cool party guy” won’t make you any more real friends, or make you any happier with yourself deep down.</p></li>
<li><p>There’s nothing wrong with wanting to chase girls. But if alcohol is the only way some of you can get laid, you’re not doing yourself any favors in the long run by taking this easy route. Because, believe it or not, most women eventually get wise to the frat party seduction game. And you will eventually need to actually win a woman’s respect and affection based on your own merits. Not on Johnny Walker’s. And that’s when a lot of guys start going down the slippery slope into the harder partying, because it gets harder and harder for them to get laid.</p></li>
</ul>
<p>There’s nothing wrong with any given party or any drop of alcohol. It’s what you’re doing with it. Sure, you can spend 5 hours on a Friday night holding the same 1 cup of beer, sipping 1 ounce every hour, and that’s a great way for some folks to meet people, hear some great stories, hear some good jokes, etc. And if you can do that once a month and never wind up with your head resting on the toilet seat, good for you.</p>
<p>If you think you’ve got it all figured out at age 19, Let me know in a few years how your “moderation” worked out for you. Actually, you won’t need to. I already know. You’ll either wise up and move on…or you’ll sink down and be one of the ones the rest of us are shaking are head at.</p>
<p>^I highly doubt you’ve ever been to a college party or have friends who party. Your generalizations make you sound ignorant. </p>
<p>EDIT: ffhrea is a mom. She probably hasn’t been to a college party in 20+ years.</p>
<p>how about we tone it down a bit and not make any personal attacks…</p>
<p>(and i know the previous comment wasnt one)</p>
<p>Alcohol only loosens people’s inhibitions- that’s why it’s awesome. If you do something that you might not be brave enough to do in real life (as long as its not like really immoral), its actually pretty fun. I haven’t partied yet here, because 1) people here have no sense of humor that’s common in the NE (I’m living in the south), 2) I live with my parents. Basically, I’m used to making fun of everyone including myself and then laughing about it. I can’t do that here- people would get offended.</p>
<p>I’d have to say that the advice given is basically in the right path. The main thing, though, is to note that these are only starters, and like before, alcohol only serves as a social lubricant that should only be used as a tool to build your confidence.</p>
<p>When I started, I thought alcohol was pure evil and avoided it completely. However, the importance of giving everything a try before judging overruled this. Well, I found that alcohol was nowhere near as bad as I thought, but nonetheless, I personally feel that it’s not the way to go and thus do not drink when I go to most parties. If anything, the alcohol did allow me to push boundaries and figure out how to be confident <em>without</em> the alcohol.</p>
<p>Yes, parties are a shallow way to meet people, but they’re still effective and should be taken advantage of. While you may not develop a meaningful relationship with most people you meet, you will slowly gain new friends if things click. I personally find study groups and clubs to be much more effective, but parties are still wroth their time for what they give; it’s a combined unwinding of academics with marginally effective social benefits.</p>
<p>Main point is: just because an opportunity doesn’t have high yield or lead to excellent results doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t take advantage of it. You should only let go if you have something <em>larger</em> to lose doing so. A wild party is still more beneficial than a Friday night playing games online!</p>
<p>^Exactly. 10char</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>QFT.</p>
<p>^10char.</p>
<p>Ok, when we mean “drinking” we mean getting wasted with cheap beer, or just having a glass or two of wine?</p>
<p>I’ve no problem with drinking, but one should not drink just to get drunk. That’s stupid. Just have a glass or two to loosen up (if need be), but don’t get drunk just for the sake of getting drunk.</p>
<p>■■■■■ jrt336 just destroyed ffhrea</p>
<p>I would expect girls to drink less and I would think some guy would think he’s really smart and try to get other girls to drink more than they should.</p>
<p>Drinking= beer or shots of vodka, rum, etc. I don’t think anyone drinks wine at parties.</p>
<p>Excelblue’s was intelligent and worth reading, and I agree with it 95%. Unfortunately, this is not quite the same perspective being expressed by many of the wide-eyed kids who seem to be in a full-steam-ahead charge to get wasted to the point of passing out and puking. If the party you’re at is based mostly on A) dancing, and/or B) light drinking (a few drinks over the course of the night), and/or C) socializing/conversing, then it’s probably one of many worthwhile ways of meeting people. If the party you’re at is based on people downing shot after shot, and playing drinking games designed to drink as much as possible, and people are passing out and throwing up all over the place, then you’re not doing yourselves any favors by doing this a lot. Sure, doing this a few times over the course of 4 years at college is a learning experience. But doing this weekend after weekend and thinking that this is some sort of good thing is just mistaken.</p>
<p>There are a few really irate people on this thread. And if they fall into the former category described above, they have nothing to worry about. If they fall into the latter category described above, I think it’s better that they hear the ugly truth now and get irate, because it isn’t going to any easier the longer they travel down that road. They can get nasty and defensive all they want, but they still deserve for someone to tell them the score. Because their drunken party pals surrounding them sure as hell aren’t going to do anything but encourage them to stay on that road.</p>
<p>Believe it or not, some of us have actually been down that road before, and have come back, and speak from experience.</p>
<p>It’s also dangerous to try to generalize to other colleges based on what party scene you’ve encountered so far at your particular college. When you’ve been to parties all around the country like some of us have, then you can speak in more generalities.</p>
<p>The only caveat I add is that, if you’re a freshman, and if you didn’t party much in high school, then you should be very careful when you go to college parties. Because it’s extremely easy to get in over your head very quickly. Because you don’t know what you’re doing. And there are a lot of risks. I can’t count the number of kids who make big mistakes when they’re new to partying at college: getting arrested, getting date-raped, getting robbed, getting seriously injured, etc. If you’re under the illusion that everything is fine and dandy with college partying and that you’re free to charge into it as fast as you can, then you’ll probably learn the hard way that it often comes at a bad price.</p>
<p>I must say I agree with ffhrea 100%.
Ask yourself if its worth selling out and acting like an idiot for a few friends you probably won’t remember in a few years.</p>
<p>I own two outta the three, I love my mac and it has yet to fail me in a year and some odd months and it’s got a big screen and such, i love it… i love my iphone also i have the new version and its extremely handy. I had the blackberry storm for verizon and it was a massive POS in my opinion i hated the phone… but anyways… i own a ton of columbia jackets and i wont bash TNF because i likem i just havent found one i want… and as for uggs… i own’em it gets cold here. i dont care if there ugly, there warm to me.</p>
<p>sorry if i c0me off as ■■■■■■■■, but cb, you seem like one of those “nerds” in high school who came to college and started drinking. Then you overcame your shyness and became less socially awkward. just thinking that.</p>
<p>I can’t believe this thread is as long as it is. </p>
<p>Simple solution: drink if you want to; don’t if you don’t want to.</p>
<p>@6rings: I partied in high school. To your disappointment, you’re wrong on all accounts.</p>
<p>:)</p>
<p>My stance on alcohol: If you need it to be social, you have deeper problems you need to work out. </p>
<p>If you are socially awkward or shy, then drinking is just a band-aid over a bullet wound; and while it may give you a temporary solution, the next day you wont be that same person as the night before. </p>
<p>It’s much more rewarding to put in the work and develop your personality and become a better person, so alcohol can be used as a celebration as opposed to a crutch.</p>
<p>Depending on which college you attend this is right on the money some places, while at other I guess it would make you a social outcast… </p>
<p>The only thing you need to do to be successful in college is be yourself, and find people that share your interests… It’s in college most lifelong friendships are made, and by inventing some sort of alter ego, you’re not really meeting likeminded individuals are ya? ;)</p>