Being Socially Successful in College: By Collegeboss

Student Lounge College Life
41

<p>Come on people, this is a fail-proof method of attracting other College Freshman with a similar mindset!</p>

<p>When you start College as a Freshman…</p>

<ol>
<li>Go to campus and live in the dorms.</li>
<li>Join a Fraternity/Sorority</li>
<li>Get Drunk every weekend</li>
<li>Pick up girls who are easy targets to spend the night with</li>
<li>Rinse and repeat</li>
</ol>

<p>Seriously, this is a fail-proof method of wasting thousands of dollars but having a great time because you won’t even be thinking about what you are going to do with your life after you graduate!</p>

<p>But that doesn’t even matter since you are in a fraternity/sorority and have connections(Which in many cases are more important than going to class and even opening a textbook) so you might get lucky after you graduate and end up with a job!</p>

<p>This is exactly the type of advice that incoming Freshman need.</p>

<p>I love how America produces so many people exactly like the OP of this thread.</p>

42

<p>I can count on one hand the number of people I know in college that don’t drink. Sophomore year (when my friends were all or mostly all under 21) it’d have probably taken two hands.</p>

<p>This is a stupid debate that happens on this board far too often, but alcohol is not evil, and drinking it does not make someone a bad person. It is a social lubricant. It makes it easier for you to talk to people you don’t know and easier for them to talk to you. You don’t have to drink to have fun, and you don’t have to hang around people that do drink to have fun, but you probably will (que 20 ‘IM THE EXCEPTION!!!’ posts) and it’s a lifestyle that shouldn’t be looked down upon.</p>

<p>Hundreds of thousands of students across the country are able to balance their social and academic lives, and yes, that includes drinking. Developing social skills is equally important to the technical skills you pick up in college. Can you develop those without drinking? Sure. Can drinking help you build your confidence and conversational ability? Yep. If I were socially in the same place I was when I stepped onto campus 3 and a half years ago I know there is no way I would have the job that I have now, and I also know that going out to parties and meeting people, which involved drinking, is a huge part of what has taught me socially. </p>

<p>And of course you can do it too much. You can party too much with or without alcohol, you can drink too much with or without partying, you can study too much. You can do anything too much. You have to have a balanced life or you’ll become one-dimensional, and you don’t want to become one-dimensional. </p>

<p>That extends to your social life though. If you’re spending every spare moment going out and partying you’re also missing out on a lot. Like somebody else mentioned, there are friends and there are party buddies. There are people who’s houses I love going to on some weekends when they’re throwing down, but I’d never hang out with them sober. Likewise there are people I’ll grab lunch with or see a movie with that I wouldn’t ever think to go partying with. There are even a special few who’s company I more or less always enjoy. Having people that you’re friends with on more than just a ‘party buddy’ level gives you somebody to turn to when you need help and somebody that you can do do other social things with.</p>

<p>That’s basically a lot of rambling to say one thing that I’ve learned, and am absolutely confident in, in my collegiate career: Partying can be part of a healthy social life. The key words are ‘can be’ since there will be * some* people who don’t like it, and ‘part of’ since it isn’t everything. It’s fun, and you should at least try it to see if you like it since going out to an apartment party isn’t going to hurt you. If you hate it then maybe it’s just not for you. If you love it then be careful that it doesn’t consume your overall or even just your social life. I’ve just about seen it all though, everything that some of the people in here are afraid of and everything that some of the people in here think they want. I’ve seen people who absolutely burn themselves out by trying to commit 100% to academics, and I’ve seen people who partied their way to either a stupidly low GPA or having to transfer/drop out. Almost worse are the people that spend the last three years partying and are not only trying to catch up academically now, but looking around and realizing that most of their friends weren’t really that great of friends to begin with, and when your social life revolves around one thing and you burn out on it or enter an environment where it isn’t as acceptable you’re in a tough place. But I’ve seen many more who have balanced the two in different ways and found a spot at which they are happy and comfortable. If you want help or advice and have something of an open mind my PM box is open, or you can post in here.</p>

43

<p>Chuy has it right down to the notch.</p>

<p>People just need to find that happy medium between party mode and academics.</p>

44

<p>The whole “alcohol as social lubricant” philosophy is extremely nearsighted, dangerous, and basically ineffective in the long run. It’s a desperate tactic that works in the short run only, and you pay the price later.</p>

<ol>
<li><p>If you need alcohol to be more social, then you’ll be social only as long as you’re under the influence of alcohol.</p></li>
<li><p>Any social benefits gained while under the influence of alcohol won’t last when the alcohol stops flowing.</p></li>
<li><p>Becoming more social by using alcohol as a crutch comes at the expense of actually learning to develop your personality and grow to become more confident in yourself socially.</p></li>
</ol>

<p>Alcohol to improve sociability is a fool’s game.</p>

<p>Just look at any of the sad and desperate 30 or 40 year olds trying to find excuses for Margaritas or beer at any social gathering imaginable, even ones with their kids present. These fools have spent a lifetime equating alcohol with fun and sociability, and they don’t know how to operate any other way.</p>

45

<p>i love it when people think they’ve got it all figured out and write little how-to guides. it’s funny.</p>

46

<p>Is getting drunk as a substitute for having social skills a good idea? No. But declaring that alcohol is evil and telling everyone about how you’ll never drink it isn’t any better.</p>

47

<p>@FFHREA I agree to an extent. The problem with “drinking as a social lubricant” is that very few people in college actually drink for this purpose and then STOP when they are sufficiently “socially lubricated”. Most people in the college drinking scene, at a party scene, will tell you that they are “drinking to get drunk”. Otherwise they will say, “what’s the point if you aren’t going to get drunk?”</p>

<p>Watch Morgan Spurlock’s 30 Days about college binge drinking. The girl featured in that documentary show accurately represents the majority sentiment of the college drinking scene.*</p>

<p>*CC does not. Don’t kid yourself.</p>

48

<p>

</li>
</ol>

<p>Wrong. Read my post again. It helps build your confidence. Yes the effect on your confidence is artificial but the only way to actually build your confidence is to put yourself in a place where it is challenged, and you’re more likely to do that with alcohol.</p>

<p>

</p>

<p>Wrong again. I’ve met many people that I like hanging out with sober, and even some that I more or less only hang out with sober, while I was at a party and drinking. I probably wouldn’t have met those people if I hadn’t been out.</p>

<p>

</p>

<p>Wrong. For the same reason you were wrong about #1.</p>

<p>

</p>

<p>There’s nothing wrong with drinking a little bit, no matter your age. Some people really like the taste of certain kinds of beer. I love having a hefeweizen with dinner occasionally, and it doesn’t get me intoxicated at all. Yes, there are people who have a problem with alcohol which is why I constantly stressed balance, and I even mentioned exactly what you’re talking about twice.</p>

49

<p>go chuy!</p>

<p>but remember who you’re arguing with here</p>

<p>ffhrea is some old lady who creeps on here to talk to college kids, im not joking</p>

<p>(btw ffhrea has some good points though)</p>

50

<p>I think the strategy guide might be good for the first few weeks of freshman year when it’s hard to tell who will be your friends in the long run. Social networking at that point is important, but I think where a lot of people are getting mad about all this is that it didn’t include anything about developing those relationships. </p>

<p>There are MANY other ways to go about this though, like joining clubs, intramural sports teams, etc. and finding friends through that.</p>

51

<p>

</p>

<p>Chuy, you are a god.</p>

52

<p>

</p>

<p>No, it is a stupid debate that happens far too often in general.</p>

<p>I don’t drink alcohol, I never have, and quite frankly I never see any reason to. Arguing about your experience in life isn’t going to make either of our opinions any more right or wrong.</p>

<p>As far as I am concerned, it is your life and you can do whatever you want to your body. Just like I can do whatever I want to mine.</p>

<p>Back to the OP:</p>

<p>I was just mentioning a fun way of going to College and getting a lot of “tail.” (Hey, it worked for more than one guy I know).</p>

53

<p>well i hink this thread should just end now because ffhrea spoke the truth and thats all there is to it.</p>

54

<p>People who are trying to argue with chuy obviously have never been to a college party and are jealous of people who do party. You’re probably high school kids. Or you’ve never actually had a drink or gotten a buzz before. I think it’s unrealistic for most people to expect to go through college without drinking at least every once in a while. </p>

<p>Parties during the first week or two on campus are ways to meet other students. Alcohol helps a lot of people be more confident, outgoing, etc. A lot of what collegeboss said is actually pretty true. The things he said won’t help you sustain friendships, but they are an easy way to start them and meet a lot of kids.</p>

55

<p>So not drinking = worthless loner who should kill him/herself?</p>

<p>I don’t drink and don’t really care about what other people do, but the glorification of drugs/alcohol just amazes me.</p>

56

<p>“People who are trying to argue with chuy obviously have never been to a college party and are jealous of people who do party. You’re probably high school kids. Or you’ve never actually had a drink or gotten a buzz before. I think it’s unrealistic for most people to expect to go through college without drinking at least every once in a while.”</p>

<p>Yeah okay.</p>

57

<p>

</p>

<p>I don’t find it any less strange. But the fact is, it’s easier to be social in college if you drink. You don’t have to think that drinking is GOOD to recognize that.</p>

58

<p>

</p>

<p>I agree, but you’re speaking to the wrong audience… You probably meant this:</p>

<p>“Everyone is unique and interesting and alcohol is a menace and leads people to do stupid things and makes everyone a promiscuous anti-intellectual tool. Real, smart, individualistic, and original people don’t drink.”</p>

<p>

</p>

<p>Nobody made that connection (at least not in such an extreme facile analogy) except for you, so maybe you have issues that need to addressed? Do you want to kill yourself?</p>

59

<p>Also, you can just go to a party and not drink. Fill up your cup but don’t drink it, or take very slow sips throughout the night.</p>

60

<p>People here need to get off their high horse and loosen up.</p>