Best of Times, Worst of Times - Overnight Visits

<p>Gourmetmom - That sounds like an experienced host who wants the prospective students to be prepared, comfortable, and have a good time. IMO, no student takes on four guests if this isn’t something they enjoy. Yes, all good signs, and I agree if all else fails the four boys are certainly capable of getting to activities and exploring together.</p>

<p>I think these experiences can be a mixed bag. My kids are both at Yale, and they both really enjoyed Bulldog Days (the admitted students event). I think if you’re going to an event like that, you shouldn’t expect too much of the hosts–their main role is to provide you with a place to stay, and maybe to have a meal with you. There are tons of activities to go to, and your hosts are not going to attend those with you. Indeed, I think it’s better to go to the activities arranged for “pre-frosh” than it is to go partying with your hosts. If you have a host that isn’t great, simply attach yourself to a group that has a better one, if you can.</p>

<p>My daughter was a host her freshman year. She did it twice. After that she said, “Never again!”</p>

<p>The kids showed up and wanted her to take them to parties and provide alcohol. She was a worried mess they would get away from her and get into something or other with these predatory guys who lived down the hall who kept hanging around.</p>

<p>“Never want to be in charge of keeping minors away from alcohol or guys they should avoid again.”</p>

<p>She planned all sorts of things and took them to dry places, but they found this very annoying.</p>

<p>It’s not always “the host” who causes the problems.</p>

<p>So true poetgrl. If I were a student, I would think twice about offering to be a host. On one hand, if I was really happy and proud of my college experience, I would love to show a prospective student around. However, if there are “guests” who are doing the overnight away from their parents and a looking to party and meet college guys and girls, I would be very scared about taking on that responsibility. I would hope the school would have a staff person who was available for both the host and student to call, if problems arise. It appears that colleges should be more concerned about hosts taking prospective students to parties or protecting the hosts, if they find themselves supervising prospective students who are just looking to party. Poorly supervised overnight visits (from the university’s standpoint) is a very expensive law suit possibility.</p>

<p>These stories are crazy. It never occurred to me when scheduling an overnight to worry about things like that. Luckily all went well. The school pays the hosts. I asked if we should bring a gift and college said no. Host confirmed she is paid. They generally have cots for guests, but D was worked in last minute when they were already full, so had to sleep on floor. They didn’t do that much special, just hung out, watched movies, walked around, but brought lots of people to meet D, especially kids who were doing the kind of dbl major she is interested in. She texted me she was laughing so hard her side hurt. No partying, though it is one of the biggest party schools in the country. It was the honors dorm and kids there said it is easy to lose scholarship for things like that and if you want to party you’d better not do it in the honors college. Everyone so friendly, though they had to drag out some kids to chat who were working hard on projects. Since we were in town for several days, they invited her back the next night for a jazz dance and the day after that to breakfast and then to a class some kids in her major all walk/bike to together early morning. And to an honors college picnic at a nearby park that afternoon. It was so helpful for her to see what the dorm life is like and to meet so many kids. I have no illusions about college life there, sure there is lots of wild partying, just not so much in those dorms.</p>

<p>Wait – they PAID the hosts? Does anyone else know if that is common? </p>

<p>Meanwhile, D2 is off at her 3rd & final visit, hoping all goes well. She did tell me today that the first two visits (the bad one with host not showing/bug bites) and the second one (like a lot better than she expected) has swapped those two schools on her list. She lit a candle in her heart in 7th grade for school #1, so this is a big deal for her. But she can see after two full days on campus, and a variety of things about the school other than the host/overnight stay, that school #2 is going to be a better undergrad experience. So these visits have been very important to her. #3 may trump both of the others, we will see!</p>

<p>They didn’t pay my daughter. FWIW</p>

<p>D is hosting three (!) visitors tonight. The school has over a hundred coming with nowhere near enough hosts signed up, so she stepped up. It’ll be cozy…</p>

<p>DS had 2 overnights: </p>

<ul>
<li><p>CMU sleeping bag weekend: DS was not really wow’d by it. But he did get to meet lots of of students and prospective students. </p></li>
<li><p>Mudd visit (a few weeks before Accepted Students Day): His host was busy, but it’s a small campus and he was able to fend for himself and hang around with other interesting students. He had positive vibes from a visit the prior year, and the 2nd visit was also good. </p></li>
</ul>

<p>He also had a morning visit shadowing an MIT student in classes (and lunch). Although he had liked his summer MIT tour, it to not was not his cup of tea at the second more intense visit.</p>

<p>What captured him like no other event was the Franklin Olin College of Engineering Candidate’s Weekend (first cut of admitted students). And that’s where he is today:) CW did not include dorm stay, but there was a full slate of exciting group activities.</p>

<p>My son just came back from Yale’s admitted student program and he had a wonderful time. He didn’t do lots of things with his host. There were so many events and he said if he couldn’t find someone to go with him, he just went alone. He went to a rehearsal for Mahler’s 3rd and said that the musicianship and acoustics in the hall were amazing. (That probably clinched the deal for him.)</p>

<p>I will say that he did decide to come back to the hotel room every night to sleep (at 3 a.m.). He said that there were seven kids and the floor didn’t look like it had been vacuumed recently. Said he might want to consider a mini vacuum for his room. I know that it had to be bad for my son to notice! :D</p>

<p>His visit only confirmed that Yale is the place for him.</p>

<p>My D is at this moment on an overnight at Case Western…you do know you have all just made a good night’s sleep impossible?! ; ) She also did one prior to this and stayed with a freshman who was a graduate of her high school - the hosts for that night were all already assigned - and yes, paid. My D knew this girl liked to party and she told her she did not drink…so after dinner another group took her bowling with them and she met her “friend” back at her room- she said they stayed up talking until 3:00am. She had a great time, met lots of people and felt safe since there were several people from her high school there. Now just the decision left…I don’t know how she will choose between the two!</p>

<p>My D had a great overnight visit, primarily because her host was a member of an EC group that was very important to D (she requested that). As it turned out, they were having a rehearsal that evening so D got to check it out for herself, and that sealed the deal with the college. </p>

<p>Having said that, I think this makes sense:</p>

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<p>…unless you’re 1500 miles from home, as we were. I suppose D could have come back to the hotel to spend the night.</p>

<p>So D just got back from her 3rd & final accepted students visit. This school that she thought might be her favorite did not shine in the light of a two day visit. Too much of one political opinion on campus (which she actually shares to some extent, but it was ALL anyone was talking about according to her). Visits were not well organized, no real opportunity to visit departments and get a stronger flavor for her area of major. She was underwhelmed. So I think she now has a much clearer picture of her final choices. Hasn’t decided yet, but I sort of think school visit #2 (the one that was last on her top 3 list going into visits, and actually a “mom’s choice” school on her list that she was pretty sure she did not want to attend) is coming to the fore. Just gotta get her to decide on one now…</p>