My hopes for you as you audition.....

College Majors Theater/Drama Majors
1

<p>As a Mom you just went through this last year, I would like to say a few words to all of you who are about to go through this process. There are so many things I wish I could do over with my daughter. But we don't get "do overs" in life. We just learn from experiences (I don't like to call them mistakes) and move on. Hopefully all of you can learn from ours.</p>

<p>The hardest part about auditions is how easy it is to get sucked into the dream. I don't mean to sound like a negative person. I honestly am not. But many auditors believe it is their job to keep you "up" and encouraged. They tell you how great you are, that you did a good job, that your headshot is beautiful, that you have a great voice. </p>

<p>Unfortunately, students and their parents dissect every single word that comes out of these auditor's mouths. They compare it to every word spoken to a friend or someone else on CC. And, if the comments are positive, this is (mis)interpreted to mean good news. </p>

<p>And then the skinny envelope may come and feelings are hurt and self doubt creeps in.</p>

<p>Then, there is the opposite experience. The auditor who says nothing, and treats the student like a piece of meat in a cattle call. Little is said. No feeling is obtained, leaving the student feeling cold, and no warm and fuzzy feelings directed toward the school.
And that very school is the one that sends the big fat envelope. Confusion reigns. </p>

<p>The only thing you can know about this process is that it is, to a very large degree, a crap shoot. You have studied. You have taken your tests. If you are wise, you have been coached and prodded and prepped for your auditions. Beyond that, there is little more that you can do than go in there and do your absolute best. You should expect nothing more of yourself, but you should expect nothing from the auditor.</p>

<p>An auditor who compliments and praises you is being kind. They are not guaranteeing you admission. An auditor who ignores you is also being kind. They are not leading you on.</p>

<p>The best thing you can do for yourself is to walk away from each audition with confidence in your heart that you did your very best and knowledge that whatever happens happens and it will be for the best. Walk away and try (I know it is hard) to not think about it. There is nothing more you will be able to do, so there is really no point in dwelling on it. Find other things to occupy your mind. Get a job. Do your financial aid paperwork. Clean your room (I mean really clean it in preparation for going away to college.) Have a fun (but safe) senior year. </p>

<p>My D was absolutely certain that she had to go to NYU. It was her dream. But she was not admitted, despite an auditor telling her how wonderful she was and that they would "definitely be in touch." That comment ended up meaning nothing.</p>

<p>She was, however, admitted to UCLA (and Cal Arts, CCM, Emerson, UC Irvine, and UC Santa Barbara.) Ironically, she said she would never in a million years go to UCLA. It was "too close to home." Interestingly, at her UCLA audition she received no feedback whatsoever from the auditor. It was a cattle call.</p>

<p>Now, she is at UCLA and absolutely and completely loving it. She found that she is where she belongs. She has been cast in three student films with the prestigious UCLA Film school already as a freshman. She loves her professors, the campus, being at UCLA. She has met and talked to celebrities who are involved in the theatre program. It is the perfect place for her... and home is only 125 miles away when she really feels homesick.</p>

<p>So, everything does happen for a reason. Its hard to accept that or believe that as you go through that process now. But it does.</p>

<p>Just try hard not to second guess either yourself or the auditors as you go through the process and you will have a much more pleasant senior year.</p>

<p>And parents.... you too have to let it lie. Don't make the mistake I made of dwelling on it. It really does work out in the end.</p>

<p>I wish you all the very best. You are all in my heart.... Break a leg!</p>

2

<p>I wholeheartedly agree. I will offer a few words of wisdom myself being a college freshman who went through this process last year:</p>

<p>1) Do not post your acceptances in your Facebook statuses. The last thing you want is people you barely talk to hearing about your acceptances and harboring resentment towards you. You may think you’re sharing good news, but it hurts more people than are happy for you.</p>

<p>2) Stay focused on what YOU are doing when you go to these cattle call auditions. There was far too much “What schools are you applying to? Oh I hate that program!”, “What songs are you singing? Oh I sang that for an audition once and I got the part. It’s really hard!” Don’t pay attention to others and prepare yourself for the audition.</p>

<p>3) RELAX! Every audition is a chance to show what you can offer the school, not what they can offer you if they should choose to admit you. Show them why they NEED you.</p>

<p>I was dead set on going to a top-tier BFA MT program (UMich or bust). I got in to a few BFAs but none really interested me like UMich did and I was devastated when that skinny envelope came. Now I’m finishing up my first semester at USC (BA Theatre with MT minor) with 3 productions under my belt. It’s the best place I could be!</p>

<p>I cried more last year because of the pressure and rejection in this process last year than I have in a long time. The biggest thing to remember is that this is YOUR application process. No one else needs to know what you are doing and you shouldn’t be prying into others college folders.</p>

<p>Break a leg everyone!!!</p>

3

<p>on the morning after my first bfa rejection, these thoughts are extremely appreciated. </p>

<p>thank you both so much! this and any other information is so, so welcome. </p>

<p>and i’m so glad both of your situations worked out for the best! these things always seem to do just that…</p>

4

<p>Chrissyblu, great post and great advice! Yes, it is extremely tempting (and very human!) for kids (and parents, too!) to leave auditions analyzing the auditors’ every word, gesture, facial expression and so on. But as chrissyblu said, that can be a mistake and an emotionally costly one. It’s tough to do, but it’s optimal if your child can go into every college audition thinking “This is one more chance to do what I love to do: perform,” rather than “Omigosh, my whole future is on the line. I HAVE to get into this particular school.” </p>

<p>There are some cases where an auditor tells the student on the spot that he or she will get “good news” about the audition soon, or something of that nature. It’s very hard not to feel optimistic in that case. But my daughter’s attitude was always (though she didn’t say this out loud) “That’s nice to hear, but I will believe it when the fat envelope arrives.” </p>

<p>The bottom line is that if you or your child has compiled an appropriate and varied list of schools at which to audition (along with at least one, but ideally, more, non-audition schools that they know they can be admitted to academically as “safeties”), the end result should be positive, with a wonderful place to attend college opening up at the end of the process.</p>

<p>One caveat: do NOT get fixated on one school or one program. Though some kids are lucky and get into their “dream” school, many don’t, and it can be heartbreaking. The good news is that, in most cases, the school where your kid ends up ends up being his or her “dream school,” where they are happily engaged in training and learning.</p>

5

<p>Thank you for the great post Chrissyblu! We’re getting ready to embark on 3 days of auditions this week so this came at a great time for us. I am going to try REALLY HARD to not dwell on things and remind myself that my D will end up somewhere great doing what she loves to do!!</p>

<p>Break legs everyone!!</p>

6

<p>chrissyblu…</p>

<p>I just wanted to take a minute to give you a big THANKS for this wonderful post!</p>

<p>We are going through this process right now with our only child (our daughter). It is an exciting, stressful and confusing process! I can now see how easy it is to get caught up in it all. I really appreciate you sharing your thoughts and experiences with this process, and will refer to this post often to keep me grounded :)</p>

<p>Joy</p>

7

<p>Another parent brought together advice offered on these boards about helping your child through the college application/admissions/audition process. Some of it is a little repetitious, but the messages contained therein are worthwhile, I think:</p>

<ol>
<li>Just support and understand that this is what your child loves to do. As parents, we might not be able to figure out why they want to do this, but they do. </li>
<li>Encourage them to work hard and to prepare, but don’t push. This is <em>theirs</em> to do. </li>
<li>Be a guide, but don’t do it for them. Instead, sit down with them, plan out a time line together, discuss what needs to happen next.</li>
<li>The motivation to do the work has to be internal and COME FROM THEM. You can guide and facilitate, but they still gotta drive this process. Life in a BFA program is very demanding. How they handle the audition part of the process will tell you something about their ability to handle college. </li>
<li>Try not to nag too much, but have meetings about what is next, when they think they might do it, and so on. Make appointments to check in with each other regularly, to see what is done and what still needs to be done. </li>
<li>They really DO want your advice, but they don’t want to ADMIT it!</li>
<li>Don’t overwhelm them with information.</li>
<li>Be the calendar coordinator and travel agent and chaperone for the trips but don’t be the one driving the process. </li>
<li>You can nag, encourage, schedule, plan, research, etc… But in the end, they decide how much they are invested in the process.</li>
<li>Be the keeper of hope and the fanner of the flames.</li>
<li>Casually drop a tidbit of info, leave it alone, and wait for them to ask for more. Try “virtual nagging” via email with clever subject headings!</li>
<li>Remember, even when they are whining about our nagging, seem to be procrastinating or appear really irritated with us, they are probably grateful.</li>
<li>We parents are meant to be the “guides”, to gently nudge them back onto the path and remind them every now and then of where they wanted this journey to take them.</li>
<li>Be their “soft place to land” in this time of great stress and inevitable disappointment. Refrain from saying “If you have only started working on monologues earlier” or offering any specific criticism of what happened/what went wrong. That’s not your role. Your role is to be the “safe place” for them. </li>
<li>Beyond that - this pursuit has to be your child’s PASSION, and not yours!</li>
<li>Ask “who is this for?” (Remember Momma Rose in “Gypsy!”)</li>
<li>We all have as much to learn as we have to teach as a result of traveling this road with our kids. The best advice is to LISTEN to the advice we give our kids.</li>
<li>A new one…from Oprah’s new book club choice…A New Earth…you can’t live your child’s life…it’s not yours to live…you have your own life to life! Enjoy it!</li>
</ol>

8

<p>From NMR’s item #11, “Try “virtual nagging” via email with clever subject headings!” I found that this really worked well. Text messaging can be similarly effective.</p>

<p>My son and I worked out a schedule for when he had to have his various essays written…there were a lot, because some schools require an essay with the audition application. </p>

<p>When a particular essay deadline was getting close, I’d email him a reminder along with the description of what was needed for the essay, and he was pretty good about getting it done without further prodding.</p>

9

<p>Thanks so much. I’m currently auditioning and this means a lot to me :)</p>

10

<p>musicalstudent, I agree with what u said about not posting it as your FB status. I for one did this exact thing (I got accepted at AMDA) and I dont think we need to hide our feelings just because others my feel bad. Are we not allowed to express the fact that we finnaly got to where we needed to be? Why can’t we express it? I for one wouldnt wanna hide my happiness especially for people I don’t even know.</p>

11

<p>Yes, Javon, but if you are a high school student who is auditioning for acting/MT schools and have other classmates going through the process, posting your acceptances on your FB status could be hurtful to those who did not have the same success. Try to think about how you would feel if, say, Minnesota/Guthrie or NYU Tisch were your dream schools and you didn’t get in, but a classmate did and posted as his status “I got into Guthrie!” Of course, there is nothing stopping anyone from posting anything on his or her FB status. But there is something very “in your face” about it in my opinion. Then again, I am just a mom and not a college student going through the process. :slight_smile: I think there is enough reward in being admitted to a great program without having to state it on your Fb status and risking making classmates feel bad. The ones who are not so fortunate in their admissions/auditions outcomes feel bad enough as it is.</p>

<p>One more thing: on FB, you are not expressing your happiness to people you don’t know. People on FB presumably know you.</p>

12

<p>My son did not do it when he was accepted to NYU and BU, and his girlfriend did not do it when she was admitted to OKCU for MT. College acceptances are a lot bigger deal than posting a status about getting cast in a play, for example.</p>

<p>As far as facebook statuses go, it is perhaps best to be clever, subtle, and ambiguous. This goes for when you are feeling down (you don’t want to scare people) as well as when you are feeling terrific. Let those to know you well contact you if they want to find out more.</p>

<p>There is a thread on the MT forum where acceptances can be posted, including acceptances to Acting programs. It is pretty exciting to do so. Perhaps it should be enough…</p>

13

<p>Bottom line, tell people who you know will be happy about your successes! Teachers, counselors, friends, etc. Those people who you meet on the audition circuit and friend on Facebook won’t be happy to know that you got into their dream school. </p>

<p>It hurts… a lot.</p>