<p>I think I am beginning to get nervous. The college is great, but is my son prepared for urban living? My gut says no. Anyone sharing my feelings or been here before? Words of wisdom needed.</p>
<p>What specifically concerns you? Safety, cars, crime, faster pace of life?</p>
<p>I went from a smaller city to a larger one as a transfer student (and to a much larger school). People talk faster here, and a lot of the students were from Long Island, so talked faster and were harder to understand. I had to get used to listening to them. </p>
<p>Driving was more of a challenge, but perhaps your S will not have a car for awhile? </p>
<p>I would encourage him to learn to use the public transportation, learn where the bad neighborhoods are and avoid them, and take advantage of what the city has to offer as part of his education. </p>
<p>The biggest shock will probably be the weather! </p>
<p>Don’t worry, he’ll be fine :).</p>
<p>I’m worried about off campus crime, being in the wrong place (because he may not be as familiar as he thinks he is with the city, once acclimated), just everything. I know he can’t/won’t be confined to campus, but I wish he was, (sad, isn’t it?). I’m just very anxious about his safety.</p>
<p>Thanks sylvan8798 for your encouraging words. I guess it is the fear of the unknown. Any tips on how to prepare him now while he is still with me?</p>
<p>*I love the weather, so no worries there. :)</p>
<p>We live in a suburban community and D attends school in a major city. H was actually more worried about her than I was, but she has managed quite well. FWIW, I grew up in a small town (midwest) and people I knew from there (including my own sister) attended college in large cities. It’s actually not that uncommon.</p>
<p>It’s absolutely normal to have some worries - but I am sure that your S will be fine.</p>
<p>Worrying won’t help your son adapt to a new situation and might in fact undermine him.</p>
<p>Better to equip him with knowledge and street smarts. I grew up in a Northern city so it was ingrained in me from an early age. Be aware of your surroundings, don’t flash expensive jewelry or electronics, don’t walk alone at night, avoid unsafe areas. Most urban campuses offer great safety services, including escorts if you are home late at night.</p>
<p>What city is he going to?</p>
<p>My ds is at college in Pittsburgh and grew up in the NJ suburbs - his dorm had outings around neighborhoods in the city, kind of a primer of where to venture off campus and how to get there. On his own he went to a couple concerts downtown - BUT he has a horrible sense of direction, always has. I think it helps alot that kids have smart phones with gps, can put an app on with public transport maps maybe. More than likely he will end up venturing outside of campus with a group - if that gives you any comfort!</p>
<p>I grew up in a town of about 1700 in a very rural state. Went to Northwestern and within months was taking the train into the city on a regular basis exploring neighborhoods and attractions, going to concerts, etc. It was the biggest reason that I chose the school.</p>
<p>I often took the Greyhound Bus to and from school on breaks and routinely was on the train late in the evening because of this. The Greyhound terminal/bus trips are an adventure in themselves.</p>
<p>You quickly learn where it is ok to go and where not. How to act, etc. </p>
<p>I imagine that my parents felt much like the OP. Let him live and explore.</p>
<p>There are plenty of non-urban colleges, if he does not feel comfy in urban area (just like my D.), why to force yourself to adjust? D. loved her UG campus in a middle of nowhere, non-urban setting was one of the main reasons for her to choose it. She misses it a lot, while in a middle of the city in Grad. School. City life is not for everybody, some feel out of place despite of certain favorite spots, it is just not the same as she feels when visiting (frequently) her UG campus.</p>
<p>your son will be fine…it is most likely that when he goes off campus to explore his new city, he will be with friends, not all out on his lonesome…and most likely some of his friends will be familiar with his new city, or at least be streetwise from living in their own big cities.</p>
<p>According to wikipedia:</p>
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<p>Yes, he will have to develop more street smarts than one typically acquires living in a small town. But I don’t think there is to much to worry about. 
This city will probably provide him with an opportunity to grow gradually</p>
<p>BTW, the northern-ness of the city is irrelevant. There are any number of cities in the south where he would be far more at risk.</p>
<p>My daughter was visiting from LA last week and we were talking about how much she enjoyed growing up in the city. It isn’t so much street smarts as feeling comfortable in the busy contexts of street life. It isn’t difficult to learn how to cross busy streets safely or that you should be careful walking home at 2AM. </p>
<p>If you go into any neighborhood in Boston, you see kids of all ages doing their thing, playing, wandering around, annoying people. We set simple rules: not by yourself because a kid alone is potential prey while 2 or more kids is not; have a cellphone and check in. We taught them to plan ahead. My kids would take the T downtown in their early teens. They didn’t want me to take them to H&M or Urban Outfitters. </p>
<p>If you eliminate crime that happens at 2-4AM, there isn’t much bad going on. </p>
<p>I grew up in the burbs. We knew that being in gas stations and 7/11’s (meaning any convenience store) in the wee hours was dangerous because those are where the bad guys go. You know your context.</p>
<p>Kids have trouble adjusting to social norms they find among their fellow students. A suburban kid threatened an inner city LA kid and got punched in the nose. In the suburbs it’s ok to talk smack, but not so much, apparently, in LA.</p>
<p>Adjusting from urban to rural or from rural to urban happens every year at every campus with very few issues. Don’t flash money or valuables, don’t leave anything unattended, even books, don’t be alone after dark in unfamiliar territory. If he has a car, someone will break the window to take 50 cents or a stack of CDs. Even if you’re lost, don’t act like you are lost. On the advice of friends, I got in the habit of carrying $23 (a twenty and three ones) mugger money in my front pocket when I went out at night in NYC. </p>
<p>And just to clarify, the inner city LA kid was caucasian.</p>
<p>apparently Consolation knows that the OP is talking about the city of Rochester, NY.</p>
<p>Rochester is not a high crime city I don’t think you have anything to worry about.</p>
<p>“It isn’t so much street smarts as feeling comfortable in the busy contexts of street life.”
-You naled it. This is exactly what I meant that my D. does not like at all. She has to keep in mind timing if she needs to be somewhere. Event might be scratched off from her caledar if she does not feel very safe at certain spot/time. She feels mnore restricted in big city with another level of consideration to logistics of every event.</p>
<p>My D grew up in a pretty boring suburb (her words) but is graduating from a very large city (let’s just say it is 10-12 times larger than Rochester.) I worried about her too, especially the crime part. I can’t tell you how many times we had the “pay attention to your surroundings” talk (plus the “watch your back” talk, the “be alert on public transportation late at night” talk, etc. etc.)</p>
<p>She loves, loves, loves the city and will be working there post-graduation. Nothing bad ever happened to her, which is not to say that it won’t happen in the future, or that it won’t happen to your son, either- but chances are, he will be fine. Have the talk and teach him to be vigilant yet self-confident.</p>
<p>It is a good experience after all. They will have certain knowledge of city life and consider it while choosing their place to live. My D. said afte living in a city for one year, it is definitely not for her. She will consider her personal preference later on in her life. Her suburban life was never boring, very busy with so much available for kids of all ages in very close range of 5-10 min. driving. She was in 5 activities at 7 y o and continued with 3 (big time commitments) alll thru HS and one of them was her minor in UG. This has helped her to develop great time mangement skills as she piled up all kind of ECs in UG. Never bored, although I feel that sometime she wants just to be bored, doing nothing, think of nothing…not a chance in her life, suburb, in a middle of absolutely nowhere or in the city, boredom has never happened.<br>
Kids are so different.
OP, your kid might fall in love living in big city after all. He will never know unless he tries.</p>
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Well you’re his mom, that’s what we do, right? :)</p>
<p>Do you have public transportation where you live? Or in any nearby city, where you could visit and practice so he learns how to read the schedules, pay, etc. and overcomes the intimidation that we sometimes have with something utterly new and foreign?</p>
<p>Rochester? He could pass out naked using $100 bills for a blanket and be fine. It will not be an issue.</p>
<p>Is Nick Tahou’s still there? It’s a college student’s dream, and a bit of a melting pot of city life late at night.</p>
<p>Thanks all. He does not seem to be worried and is very excited. I’m excited, too, but I have lived in major cities and know how to “carry” myself. He, not so much. Very trusting, helpful young man and in my minds eye “sitting duck!” It’s my nerves for sure, and you’re quite right sylvan8798, it is what we do! Danger is all over the place but so is good. I just wondered if you all have faced these feelings and how did you calm yourself.</p>
<p>*I don’t think I would be as worried with a southern city for some reason as I am with northern city. Not biased, I don’t think, but it is the kids from those 2 areas speak a different language, carry themselves a bit differently, (mind you this is from a parent’s perspective), etc.</p>