<p>Applying to 10th grade, or to 9th again for that matter, is certainly a good idea. Remember, though, you might not have the same stats (i.e. #1 in class). It's easier to do that in middle school than in hs.</p>
<p>Okay, being angry (that's your word) -- as an adult -- over this process and the four wait list decisions is a state of mind that's not conducive to making wise choices. It leads to statements like this:</p>
<p>
[quote]
we already have a spot in a "safe" school as I have stated, its just that my d is not satisified with it.
[/quote]
</p>
<p>Re-reading that should sound an alarm to you as a parent that (a) that school's not likely to be a great fit/experience; (b) your daughter needs some adult wisdom to help her understand what's been going on; or (c) both.</p>
<p>I'm limited to what you reveal here, but I'm not picking up clues that you're moving in a beneficial direction. Instead, you're making fun of Exeter with "Revenge of the Nerds" references and sitting with her at the computer venting about a perceived injustice. You're superimposing your values (arts over sports) as if the schools shouldn't be allowed to set their own priorities or that there's some injustice that's being committed when they do. </p>
<p>You should also be aware that four wait lists are not necessarily an indicator that your search was on the right track. While that's possible, you should understand that those decisions suggest the very real possibility that your daughter received "courtesy wait list" decisions that are effectively rejection letters -- in that the schools have no intention of moving the students who are so listed while at the same time being reticent about sending outright rejection letters as a courtesy to your daughter's school or a recommender or for some other reason.</p>
<p>You're probably not helping your daughter much by being so frustrated with such an unpredictable and hyper-competitive process. The state-of-mind that you're expressing today is much the same as where you were when you first learned the news -- about **70* days ago*. Your D would be likely to benefit from some adult help and understanding that these decisions often work out for the best and they are not a referendum on her worth as a person or as a student for that matter. Indeed, for that reason alone, there's no reason to be angry about anything.</p>
<p>I would strongly recommend that you take a step back, draw a deep breath and focus on helping your daughter cope with the decision instead of fostering bitterness and resentment. Or hire an educational consultant to help get that message across. </p>
<p>I disagree with prpdd to the extent that he is saying that your search should continue. I think it needs to end, before you recommence it. Judging from your posts, you need a vacation from the search process. Sure, keep the wait lists going -- as you made those choices in January when you were clear-headed about all this -- but I would suggest the following plan going forward:</p>
<p><a href="1">b</a>** Get on with plans for your daughter on the assumption that those wait list decisions will not transmogrify into acceptances (in other words, all but forget about them and don't foster a false sense of hope on her part);</p>
<p><a href="2">b</a>** Seriously consider saying "thanks, but no thanks" to the "safe school" that your "d is not satisified with," </p>
<p><a href="3">b</a>** Have your daughter enjoy the summer instead of desperately seeking a boarding school for this coming fall; and </p>
<p><a href="4">b</a>** Hire an educational consultant to help you -- and more importantly your daughter -- come to grips with this year's reality and put you waaaay ahead of the curve for a search that begins anew next fall for the '08-'09 school year.</p>
<p>If it so happens that one or more wait list decisions evolve into an acceptance and your family agrees that that makes sense, that's all serendipity. And, sure, send in the latest report cards and such. I see no reason to totally bail out -- except emotionally and mentally. In those respects, cut loose of those schools for this fall. My guess is that the planets will align for your daughter -- just not from those wait lists and providing she gets support to help her see that there's something better in store for her, perhaps at a school she hasn't yet considered.</p>
<p>waitlist - if you reapply to school next year, do try to analyze where your daughter's weak point might have been. Could it be interview, essays, something else? I assure you it is NOT solely lack of stronger sports. These schools do value arts experience - not just looking for jocks.</p>
<p>I don't know where you live, but judging from the list of waitlist schools I remember seeing a few weeks ago, I am guessing it is MA, or a town close to the border. When and if you look next year, consider broadening your search geographically. It could be that they had a large number from your state because most parents don't want their child far away. Apply to the waitlist schools again next year, but add some more. And do consider a few schools that are not in the top 10 or so but can offer your daughter the challenge she seeks. Remember that a school with an average ssat of 70% can still offer challenging courses. Often the top 25% or so are placed in honors courses. And its an average, so most likely the top 25% will be just as gifted as your daughter.</p>
<p>waitlist - Contact each of the schools where your daughter was wait listed and ask why she was not admitted. I know of many instances where applicants addressed the "issues" and were accepted the following year. In fact, this works for college (if you're willing to wait a year) and graduate school too!</p>
<p>Dyer--
I am a bit perplexed at your statement about the safe school- it is a fine school but of course we felt our daughter could do better..that said I have steted clearly we did not deem paying up to 40k a year for less then stellar school was a good choice--WHY THE heck do you assume very arrogantly I might say for that matter- that you who hang about here on this board have a better opinion of what is correct for my D than I...come on dude..frankly I appreciated your advice in the beginning but I have been around boards to know trouble when I see it and others have pointed out you have too much time on your hands here..so back off dude..seriously you are totally out of line in your assumptions--frankly condescending....while you might be sincere your need to build up yourself with sagely wisdom exposes your weakness..
my D needs no advice from anyone--I am here not because I am an INFERIOR Parent which is CLEARLY what you are implying in your posts--do you think my D wound up like she is because I need you to tell me how to be a better parent- and that saying so PUBLICLY is of any use? seriously reality check..sorry you do not find my post amusing..I still do and its not anger--in fact its healthy sour grapes friend..
I want advice that is frank but your memos belong on a PERSONAL NOTE And are TOTALLY over the top here..publicly..
W</p>
<p>And I might add the the admissions advisor from two schools told us they do NOT give COURTESY wait list spots- they are meant for people they want but did not have room for--you are an odd person really- I specifically asked her because of your REPEATED EXPERT STATEMENTS on SAID MATTER...
PS..my nerds post was an attempt at humor (based on a post that was -well a bit nerdy) and was totally funny IMHO..you have no sense of humor--do you know that Andover has an "Exeter Geek Day" maybe they apparently have a better sense of humor than you...yeesh what an ass!</p>
<p>Burb Parent and Prpdd you are mature adults-thankyou for your posts!
W</p>