<p>My son likes that his school is close to Boston and usually amenities. School has a shuttle that goes to Starbucks, Subways etc…, movies, mall on the weekend. He really likes that he has the choice to leave campus to do things although most kids choose to stay anyways.</p>
<p>Ah, I didn’t realize they had to tell the person on duty. The only reason I know this is that when I visited son a few weeks before parent’s weekend, I went into the deans office to write the note required for him to be able to leave with us and stay at our hotel and while I was there, I told the nice lady that I was going to take my son out to dinner and would a friend need any special permission to come along. She said that as long as we stayed within ten miles of campus, it would be fine. I do remember at revisist day, a parent asked if the kids needed to tell anyone if they wanted to say, bike to the beach. The answer was, no they don’t.</p>
<p>And I’m not a rule bender at all!!! All I said was that it would seem to be easy enough to skirt, if one were so inclined. Just sayin…:)</p>
<p>Just teasing, Neato…and 'tis true that that rule would be fairly easy to skirt…and the e-book is pretty vague about the exact penalty for breaking that particular rule–maybe it’s more dorm dependent, like lights out. </p>
<p>In general I agree with the prohibition on getting into a car (teen drivers and all that)–but it does seem odd, in some ways, that they can bike all the way to the beach without telling soul, but not get in a car with a roommate’s parent.</p>
<p>Red - are you in school near Northampton?</p>
<p>We visited Williston Northampton and loved it. Gorgeous campus and a pretty amazing area for artistic and intellectual culture. It didn’t make the cut for which I was sorry, but it is HIS high school years…</p>
<p>@kiwi: Ay, si- read the location.</p>
<p>Which schools have big public streets running through the campus? It seems that that might interfere with the cohesive feeling of the school. </p>
<p>An observation - I am getting the sense that boarders overall at many schools don’t attend organized weekend events like trips into a nearby city, etc. If this is true, I wonder why they’d rather just ‘hang out’ more informally - just tired & need to chill?</p>
<p>2kidsnoanswers - My son does some of the trips but only about 1/2, for a few reasons. One reason is that his school always seems to have alot going on on campus itself on the weekend and yes, also because sometimes he just wants to chill and do nothing because the week is so busy and intense.</p>
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<p>It seems to me that it might be easier to ask which ones don’t! Most of the urban campuses my family visited had streets cutting through the campus. The schools that did not were the ones with big gates you drive through that really separate you from the rest of the world: St. Paul’s, NMH, Groton. I am sure there are others. But Exeter, for example, has a street that cuts the campus in half. So do many of the schools.</p>
<p>This whole thread makes me uncomfortable because these decisions are so personal and there are so many things to consider (ECs, geography, diversity, assessments, etc). But I support RAD-in-Plaid. We had the best re-visit day ever at Emma - weighing the whole package - and time has borne us out. It was the best place for us. The staff and faculty are amazing and developmentally appropriate and we’ve seen lots of schools that we didn’t like nearly as much. I don’t want to say bad things about other schools. We’re talking about developing teens and it really is still about fit more than anything else.</p>
<p>Agreed wcmom1958! One of the schools my son applied to (HADES) left me cold then one of my best friends visited with her son and absolutely loved it. It is so personal that families do truly need to visit to know if the school appeals to all of them.</p>
<p>@wcmom: Though it’s human nature to defend one’s alma mater (in most cases!), I don’t think the views shared here constitute a judgment on any specific school or families who send their kids to that school…early in the thread it was acknowledged that it’s more about fit/the personality of the family.</p>
<p>^Why thank you for that, oh great SevenDad. If you re-read you will see that there are, in fact, some disparaging comments about several schools. Since this site is read by students, I would hope parents would think twice before saying negative things. It is just as helpful to focus on the positive, n-est ce pas?</p>
<p>The idea of a major street through campus was never a factor for us. My d wanted a rural school since she is from a major city.</p>
<p>My d attends on campus activities over the weekends, but unlike in my time, she might only stay an hour and then return to hang with friends or go to bed. Due to my d health issues she understands that if she can not regulate her schedule and get the rest she needs she will have to come home. She is very mature and does not want to lose this opportunity.</p>
<p>She learned lessons much earlier than I, the parties are all the same, sometimes the people change.</p>
<p>@wcmom: Wow, really? Did I come off as that much of a [REDACTED]? My apologies. </p>
<p>The title of the thread is “Boarding schools you/child crossed off the list after visiting”. So that kind of invites people to comment on things they didn’t like, no?</p>
<p>And here are three excerpts from early posts that speak to the “it’s all about fit/don’t get offended/upset/uncomfortable” notion I was getting at:</p>
<p>From Post #4: I’m still scratching my head over how they could have come away with such different views of the same place…</p>
<p>From Post #6: This is such a personal thing and depends so much on you, the visitor, and what you value… </p>
<p>From Post #8: …what may strike one person as ‘wrong’ may be just the thing that is ‘right’ for someone else…</p>
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<p>To put things in a slightly different context, I have every right to say “I don’t care for the new Kings of Leon album and here’s why…”, but that isn’t the same thing as me saying “The new Kings of Leon sucks.” or even that a zillion other KOL fans are wrong.</p>
<p>That’s such a good point, SevenDad. I think it’s easy for people to forget their preference for a place is often colored by their own personalities, needs and wants.</p>
<p>I loved Boston. My husband thought it was impersonal and wanted to move. MIT was a great fit for me, it would have been an awful fit for him.</p>
<p>So it was with boarding schools. I went to Exeter so the whole “dorm/campus” thing was old news to me. But my husband was fascinated by the campus when I was up there doing college interviews and took his bike so he could explore. Later, when my daughter went for summer school it was a family trip and he saw it in a whole different light. Still, when it came time to choose a permanent place, they both liked Taft the best based on gut feel first, then actual visits. There was just “something” missing when we were on Exeter’s campus for the interview. Like we’d been there and done that already and it lacked the “newness” it would have had if she’d been applying for the first time.</p>
<p>I wonder why people get defensive when others don’t like the school that they do? I laugh when people call Exeter “cold” because it can be. And smile when people say how much their child loves it - because I did.</p>
<p>So we’re back to fit. I liked Exeter for me. My kid ranked it last before we even got back on the plane.</p>
<p>But isn’t that why there are so many choices. So students have a better chance at finding the place where they belong. But when so many people worry about ranking and is it “Hades” I think they miss the point. Better to be in a place that can develop your potential and where you can grow - than wither in a place that doesn’t fit just because people will be impressed with that name on your resume.</p>
<p>Truth be told, we’re just a small microcosm of the whole BS world. There are thousands of parents and students who don’t post here and who do or do not go to a particular school and they’re managing to do just fine. So all views are welcome because at one point, I really gained a lot by listening to these discussions (and the hilarious chance me boards) when we were going through the process ourselves.</p>
<p>@SevenDad: Thanks for taking my response as the affectionate slap upside the head it was meant to be. I really do understand that the vast majority of posters and readers understand the subjective nature of these critiques. I was responding to a couple of specific posts (that I can’t seem to cut and paste here) that I thought crossed the line – I do believe that there is a way to share your perspective without belittling another’s choice that was missed in places here. Just as there are parents all over the student thread, there are students all over the parent thread. I did bristle that you seemed to feel the need to contextualize my opinion, but then it’s Friday (TGIF!) evening and I’ve been reading Gail Collins’ “When Everything Changed.” Doesn’t take much right now for me to see a threat - real or imagined - to my freedom of speech. I recommend the book.</p>
<p>One comment about main streets through schools: I’ve heard it explained in a historical context: when the 18th century Academies were founded, they was really meant to be part of the town, not cut off from it. The St Grottlesex schools were founded around a century later (e.g. SPS) to be worlds where students could be protected from town influences. Hence, roads right by (originally) or through (now, with expansion) Andover, Exeter, Milton, and a lovely isolated feeling at SPS, for example. Of course there are plenty of schools that are neither 18th century academies nor 19th century schools. (I have no idea if Deerfield Academy follows this pattern.)</p>
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<p>Wow, thank you, lemonade1! That provides a wonderful perspective . . . I kind of wish I could go back and visit all the schools again now!</p>
<p>With regard to the critiques of this thread, I would just like to comment, for myself, that I appreciate hearing other people’ reactions to these schools. In some cases, my response is, “How in the world could they have come away thinking THAT?” And, in other cases, it’s comforting to know I’m not the only one who was rather put off by something.</p>
<p>BTW, I have also had the experience of speaking afterwards with a friend whose impression of a school was the direct opposite of mine. It was, unquestionably, the luck of the draw (i.e. tour guide) . . but it was also true that both of our impressions were absolutely valid.</p>
<p>lemonade1-Deerfield was built with the idea of being an “academy”, thus running though a town/city to be part of the community. (Jane Fried of Andover beautifully explained this at an informal meeting, schools vs academies).</p>
<p>I think it is important to examine the histories of the schools as well as the current administration’s view of the school in modern times. </p>
<p>I think some students/parents become unhappy with their choice when after accepting/attending they realize that in fact what the school isnt what they really wanted. I believe that parents and students need to be very self-reflective on deciding on a school.</p>
<p>What does you child want/need in a bs and what do you as the parent want/need for them.</p>
<p>^^Exactly, dodgersmom & Alexz825Mom. The last thing I want is for our son to choose a school & find that he made a mistake because it wasn’t what he wanted/needed. It gets tricky with teens, who are growing & changing so much. </p>
<p>I agree with ExieMITAlum that </p>
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<p>I went to a highly regarded college that was routinely dismissed by many of my high school friends as being ‘too big’. Yes, it is big, and if they feel uncomfortable in such an environment, much better they really understand the culture that that implies & find something else. I don’t mind their opinion or telling them why I loved it. I do feel that a smaller school may be best for my son.</p>
<p>It is exactly because people are so different & have different needs & preferences that I started the thread. Not to bash schools, but to try to get at why a school might fit one person but not another. It isn’t ‘good’ or ‘bad’, but knowing that a campus turned one family off might help determine if the reason is an important factor, or not, for your own child. Someone saying that a school was rural (and so was a turn off for their family) would appeal to Alexz825Mom’s daughter, because she were looking for that. Knowing how campus representatives came off might help give a heads-up for others who visit - to be aware of that and see if they get the same vibe. Sometimes it is a gut feeling, kind of hard to express, why it was a good or bad impression, but knowing where that child felt comfortable or ended up can give clues.</p>
<p>Thanks everyone for the thoughts/info about streets going through campus & why organized entertainment on weekends might not be attended. It is great that cdnhockeymom’s son’s school has a lot of other interesting things going on during the weekend on campus as well. I have a son who looks forward to things on weekends, even if it is simply relaxing with friends. Keeping busy is also good, so I am not opposed to Saturday classes either.</p>
<p>Alex825Mom, loved your thought that ‘parties are all the same, sometimes the people change’. My son is still young, but I am going to be sure to pass that on!</p>
<p>Visits are helpful, but we need to trim the preliminary list first. Visits can also be rather short in light of what is at stake. There is a thread about that on the college board, that sometimes visits can be limited in their helpfulness for a variety of reasons.</p>
<p>It isn’t easy choosing a school, or even a set of schools to apply to, so I am thankful for all the posters on CC which give so many opinions & experiences.</p>
<p>BTW, so there is a real difference implied by a school using “Academy” or “School” in their name? Something to do with location, history, or culture?</p>