<p>First, congratulations to all who've gotten their acceptances. It is great to see such a long list of good news.</p>
<p>Our story is taking a different turn. Our dtr. had given up a lot during high school to pursue oboe. She gave up time with her friends (3+hrs. of practice, plus reedmaking), did physics by independent study to have a more flexible schedule, gave up some APs she would have taken, drove 2 hours each way for lessons, etc. As fall rolled into winter, she seemed more stressed and less happy-go-lucky than usual. We chalked it up to stress about auditions and the lack of good and fun playing opportunities where we live.</p>
<p>As we got into January, she said she really wasn't certain that she could see herself giving up everything else that she loved to maintain the focus on music. She went to her first audition at IU and felt that she had played fairly well. On the drive home, we talked a lot and she said that she had too many other interests and that she didn't think she'd be happy in music performance. She had wanted to get into the auditions to make sure it wasn't just fear/stress about them that was influencing her.</p>
<p>After more discussion at home, she decided to withdraw her applications from the other schools she had applied to (only music schools). She talked to her teacher who had been very positive about her playing, and he was very understanding. She was fortunate enough to receive a call from the IU teacher a couple of weeks ago inquiring about her committment to IU. She told the teacher that she was reconsidering whether music was for her, so in essence withdrew from there, too.</p>
<p>So, now, we start over. Our dtr. is graduating a year early, and has decided to take a gap year and travel and learn more about other things she is interested in. She has had no second thoughts about her decision and knows that the discipline she developed in music will help her in whatever she pursues. She is continuing to take lessons and wants to play in a non-major orchestra in college. We loved hearing our daughter play and watched her grow in many ways through music, but we are even happier seeing her enjoy herself again.</p>
<p>Thanks to all of you who helped us learn to navigate the path up until now. This has been a great resource and you've all been very generous.</p>
<p>It is good that your D made this decision early. My D was the opposite. She never wanted to major in music because of the limited career opportunities. My W and I suspected she was making a mistake. She had been getting up at 5:30am on Saturdays and returning late in the evening after a full day at a precollege conservatory program. She always returned happy and full of excitement. My D went all the way to the start of senior year before deciding that she was going to need more than a casual involvement with music during college.</p>
<p>Congrats to your daughter for giving herself that GAP year!!! What a gift it will be for her - one of the few times in her life she will be able to do it too! Sometimes you need to let go and try other things to really appreciate the gift that you had all along. Congrats mom on letting her make that decision - I'm sure it will be a year filled with growth in many ways! All kids should have that time to gain their focus without all the pressures of school, EC's, SAT's, and applications dogging their heels.</p>
<p>ASW---doesnt sound like she is bowing out as much as taking a thoughtful intermission. She is obviously a mature and bright young woman.Congrats.</p>
<p>It's hard to know how it's going to go for these kids. My D started playing classical guitar 8 years ago. She was always a good and soulful player, but wasn't that serious about it, and wasn't that technically adept. At summer programs, she was usually one of the better players, never the best...but still had that artistry that kind of got to you. Of note, she is also a very strong student academically, and works very hard with a very challenging course load. As mentioned above, she gave up a social life. In the beginning of senior year she decided she wanted to do a double degree program. Since she had the academic stats, her focus became music. She started kicking in and practicing constantly, and playing in more master classes, ensembles, etc. Long story short, she took an exponential leap, and her technique sort of caught up to her artistry. She had fabulous auditions, got better w/ each one, and to our amazement, has been accepted at several programs/conservatories with merit $$$ for her musicianship, as well as academics . In some ways, her relatively late committment to music may have paid off. That being said, we're really hoping she can get a day job!</p>
<p>Absolutely a wise decision. I always tell students, if you can be happy making a living any other way than music, DO IT!</p>
<p>I am so happy and lucky to be able to make a career in music, but it is not an easy life, and far from secure. I can't imagine doing anything else, though, and so I deal with the negatives of the business. But, if one is on the fence about it, there is definitely some other field out there that will be more satisfying.</p>
<p>I think your daughter is smart to take a year off and go travel. I wish I had done that! Best of luck!</p>
<p>I'm sure your daughter will have a good year, and will figure out her next step. There are many fine colleges out there with orchestras who would welcome a good oboe player. We know...DD is one of those this year in college. She is an excellent player who could have been a better player than her brother (who is a performance major...) except that she does her music for the love of doing it, not with a career intention. The nice thing about music is that you can always find some place to continue pursuing it both as a student and adult...as a hobby. I agree with others...it sounds like your daughter's decision was the right one for her.</p>
<p>I'm a professional musician, and I say congratulations to your daughter for being so wise about this and to her parents for being so supportive. There are many many ways to have music in your life without pursuing it as a profession, and it is such a hard career. I would never push it on my kid.</p>
<p>Congratulations to you, ASW. I mean that very sincerely. What I see is a student who has given a great deal of time and effort to pursue something, which means that her parents also gave her a lot of support, a lot of time and effort, and probably a lot of money. There are not many parents who could gracefully hear "I changed my mind." And there are a lot of students who would not feel comfortable saying that to their parents after all that.</p>
<p>So congratulations for being the kind of family where the student is comfortable making her own decisions and knowing she will be supported no matter what.</p>
<p>And after a year, she may indeed decide that she needs music. And will come back even stronger, as she will be sure.</p>