<p>I don't think guys feel it's a big deal hugging. I hug girls all the time I don't like. I hug guys too, and I definitely don't like them :p I'm just saying that his hugging other girls doesn't really mean anything. I mean it sounds like he likes you. I never flirt that much with a girl I don't like. Definitely give it a shot... I think it's cute when girls ask guys out :)</p>
<p>I wish I had the guts to just come right out and say it lol...but I just don't think I can. And to complicate matters, I have another friend who likes this very same guy. And she was there when he asked me to dance during homecoming...even though I said no (which I wish I had said yes). And I know that whole thing about not letting guys come between friends...but she's really not that close of a friend of mine. One of my teachers after watching us repeatedly everyday in his class says that we act like elementary school kids that like each other (because we kind of draw on each others arms and throw paper at each other lol)....<em>sigh</em>:rolleyes:</p>
<p>Awwww.........thats really cute. And you know what? Guys shouldn't come in between friends. Your friend should see you have something in between you two. Don't let people walk all over you, but don't be mean either: you can find a happy medium. You're obviously smart(cuz hey, this is CC! lol) so you'll know what to do when the time comes. I think you should bring it up sometime. He's probably shy.</p>
<p>diana-
same. exact. thing.</p>
<p>and then because im so frustrated i just end up being extra mean to him</p>
<p>write him a note, that way it's better for both of you. I know it's the cheap way out, but as long as your not nervous after you guys start going out then you'll be fine. </p>
<p>I'm not sure how you should handle your friend liking him, you really just have to go with your gut. I guess just talk to her about it. i don't know her so i don't really know how she'd react. It's really dangerous having a boy and two girls that like them... Last year I really liked this girl, who liked me back, but her best friend had the hugest crush on me. We tried to go out without telling her, and they nearly lost their friendship. Moral: be honest!</p>
<p>Oh, wow, that's so sad, jusgimmethegun! It's nice that you tried to save the friend's feelings from being hurt, but yeah, you're right, honesty is the best policy. Are you still going around with the girl?</p>
<p>So, I guess the general concensus here is to confront him...Well, I suppose that's the best idea, embarassing as it may be!</p>
<p>It shouldn't be that embarassing for you, DualAnya. I'm just wondering how long has this flirting been going on? And how long have you guys known each other?</p>
<p>Um no we aren't... the friend eventually approved it, but we both agreed that it didn't feel right... that was a rough period for me and girls anyway, i couldn't seem to hold a relationship longer than a month (always dumped :( ) this year i'm taking it easy so i don't have to get stuck in long-distance relationship next year. it's hard though.</p>
<p>I have a question... What is with girls and the "just want to be friends" cliche? I swear that's what I've always gotten, and it's so random too. Things will be going great and then BAM she just wants to be friends. And then when we're not back to being normal friends the next day and things are awkward, she complains that I don't want to be with her?!?! I mean give me a break, I just got slapped in the face! But I get over it rather quickly anyway. I just wish I knew what I was doing wrong. I guess I just care too much when it comes to a girl.</p>
<p>What about gay guys? I'm not afraid to admit it, I'm a gay guy. Gay guys are a lot tougher to understand than straight guys, in my opinion. The spectrum of gay guys is sooooooooo huge. So many types of guys ranging from masculine jocks to conservative preps to the obviously flaming type. Whether you've got good "gaydar" or not, it's tough to figure out the complexities of a gay guy.
In my case, I get boy crazy all the time! I have the most spontaneous and impulsive crushes. I'm a senior in high school, and I ought to be a little more mature than that, but what can I say? I'm gay and I drool over hot/cute guys!!
Ok, my main problem (which may not even be construed as a problem by SOME of you) is that I'm a really religious guy. I'm a devout Roman Catholic, so I really don't think I'd ever get anywhere w/ a guy in a relationship, regardless of how much I yearn to. Any advice? What's the best way for me to approach a guy (since this is a "boys" thread)? I have no problem talking to girls (in fact, I've had several girlfriends), but when it comes to guys, I freeze up. I can never do more than subtly flirt. Any clues? Let me know please! The feminine perspective would be most appreciated, but I'm willing to hear anyone's advice. Thanks.</p>
<p>-Jon</p>
<p>Well truthfully I don't know many gay guys who aren't the stereotypical gay guy. I guess because we're still young and a lot of people might not have their sexuality figured out yet? Anyways, I think it's like me with guys, you just need to get used to talking to guys? Do you have any guy friends? I've usually found this helps me a lot because I'm less nervous around ones I like. About the religious thing, I'm sure you can find someone, but it's obviously tougher.</p>
<p>I understand what you mean by the spectrum of gay guys. In high school, it seems like it would be really hard to approach a guy, particularly if you're unsure of his sexuality. I bet it's hard to be gay, when so many of your peers are extremely judgmental, so props to you for being so strong about it. Anywho, my advice is the same I'd give to anyone of any orientation. Suck it up. I know it's easier said than done, but you have to just do it. What I like to do is imagine myself in the situation, but not in a dreamy way. Imagine all the stutters, the awkward moments, and dont even worry about thinking about the answer in your imaginary situation; your goal is to get comfortable with the situation. Having a brutally honest idea of what's going to happen is the best prep, and is a really good confidence builder. Doing this is rough no matter what, particularly for you, but think about how much it will change you, even if the answer is no. You'll be a much stronger person when you get to college if you rid yourself of this fear now. Think about all the fun times you'll have with that extra confidence. </p>
<p>As for the religion part, its hard to say. Since you say you have spontaneous crushes then it shouldn't be a big worry for you (religion is more important in the serious relationships). So long as you don't do anything outside your moral limits, you should be okay in a relationship.</p>
<p>Hope I helped :)</p>
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<p>Well...seeing as to how I've been told that I do that myself, I don't really know why. Do you give her enough attention? Like the same amount that you did at the beginning of the relationship? Because from a girl's perspective, when you don't really pay that much attention to us, then we begin to lose interest, at least I do....well it's more complicated then that...but that's the end result.</p>
<p>If anything it's the other way around. I try to play it cool in the beginning, but before I know it, I want to talk on the phone all the time and whatnot. I guess I just get annoying. I've tried to play it cool the whole time, but it's really hard, because when I go out with a girl I already like her a whole lot. Nonetheless I have played it cool and still got the same thing.</p>
<p>BTW: This is my holy post #777!</p>
<p>The best thing I can tell you is to try to be somewhere in the middle. Don't play it cool so that she thinks that you don't really care...but then again, don't get too clingy either. Like make yourself available for her, but not so much to the point where you're around her too much and ignore other parts of your life.</p>
<p>I agree with Diana: The middle ground is the safest territory.</p>
<p>And to Lily: We've known each other for about a year, but the flirting's only been going around for about a month.</p>
<p>hmm i suppose I'll try, even though when I play it cool, it's never so much so that it seems like I don't care, but I'll definitely try to find a happy medium :)</p>
<p>Happy mediums are always good. No one likes the guy who ignores them but i dont think many girls like the guy who puts them on a pedestal all the time either.</p>
<p>Ok, I'm wondering this: where can a guy like me (religious, friendly, boy-crazy: gay) find a sincere gay guy who's into true and lasting relationships? I mean, I honestly cannot find that at my school. The gay guys (that I know of) @ my school are either too feminine (a HUGE/MAJOR turn-off for me) or too arrogant/conceited (also a turn-off)? I'm quoting the musical "Footloose" but, "Where have all the good guys gone? Where are all the gods? Where's the street-wise Hercules, to fight the rising odds? I'd like to know, isn't there a white knight, upon a fiery steed?....etc..I need a hero!" LOL, I was in that play way back in 9th grade, and the lyrics just popped into my mind. However, they are actually quite relevant to my problem. So, what do you all think? Any other places I have overlooked? I'm 18, maybe there are places I can go to meet people? Does anyone know? Any suggestions would be appreciated. Thanks!</p>
<p>-Jon :)</p>
<p>to gunner... dude you are just like me!!! I used to have the clingy problem back like 8th and 9th grade.. best thing i can tell you is just dont try too hard to be a good b/f, the g/f will be initiate enough things to keep you doing great as long as your responding. Just always try to treat the relationship like you've only known each other for a few weeks, the first few weeks are always the best feeling.</p>
<p>APDoolittle, just hold out for college. If you're in the right environment, things will fall into place.</p>
<p>Thanks for the advice terry. I'm not sure I'm going to get in a relationship this year though... I'm not really up for it, and it seems as though I've exhausted my applicant pool haha. I guess I could try harder, but I if I don't want to then why bother? This is weird... I went for years with always being in a relationship (never missing more than literally 2 days) to just not wanting it. But the advice is good for future reference... which could be next week for all I know.</p>