I’ve recently gotten accepted to my top choice college. My mom went there and many relatives were very happy I got in. I’m very excited about attending the school and I’ve already met a bunch of people from the college. However, I’ve been getting a lot of “criticism” from a close friend who claims that I’m bragging.
I will admit that I have watched a bunch of college videos on my computer when I wasn’t doing stuff in class and I’ve done research on classes and dorms at the college. Whenever I converse with some other friends and they ask me about my college acceptances, I’ve told them where I got in and that I’m glad I don’t have to write any more college essays. My friend, on the other hand, has been a thorn in my side and always says I’m bragging while I’m talking to those people and I should stop. I don’t think I’m bragging. I’ve also changed my wallpapers on my phone to the College Logo (and my passcode to the day I got my acceptance letter), and now she claims I’m being arrogant. There are times where I complain about doing laundry and express my excitement about designing my dorm but I don’t think that is something specific about the college. I’m not sure, with all her nagging,
Not sure if I am not bragging anymore cause even I mention something remotely related to the college, she’ll say I’m bragging so Idk. What do you think?
I would just try and be a good friend. They all know where you got into. I am sure it spread like wildfire. You were entitled to be excited and share. But now your other friends are desperate nervous and filled with anxiety. It’s not about you. But it is kind to think of others in trying times. Over the holidays enjoy the great news with your family who will be overjoyed for you. At school maybe take it down a notch understanding how you would feel if the admission news came back differently for you.
In the old days when someone attended Harvard many would say. I go to school back east or I go to a small school in Boston People understood.
Yes, it is hard because you are excited! Just remember there are a lot of other kids who are disappointed, nervous, jealous, sad etc.
Was your friend disappointed by his/her early results? If so, then show some empathy. There is a fine line between answering questions about what college you will attend next year and bragging so try not to cross it.
For now celebrate with your family and try to stick to different topics with your friend.
Keep a lid on it til May when everyone has choices. My kids only posted on social media once when they decided where they were going on May 1. It is kind of insensitive and rubbing it in to people who havent gotten into their top choices (or maybe anywhere) yet. Be nice.
Clam down. Try to keep a lid on it. Cherish who are still around you.
Its not you, its them. They are still waiting, still writing essays, maybe got turned down by their ED schools, maybe haven’t heard anything yet.
I would still answer when asked a direct question about where you have been admitted, but don’t talk to your friends about designing your dorm until May and everyone has decided where they are going. Maybe don’t bring up that you don’t have to do any essays. Talk to your mom and dad about that kind of stuff.
Did you mention you changed your passcode to the day you got in? If so, don’t do that.
And the answer to “I am going to X college” is 'You are going to do great there!"
Congratulations! I agree with everyone else. You may not intend to be bragging , but in your excitement, with everything going on with other people, it could be coming off that way, especially if you’ll be going to school in Cambridge or New Haven or someplace similar.
On that note, with all due respect to @privatebanker, if you’re going to Harvard, just say Harvard. The whole “I’m going to school in Boston” is generally viewed as an obnoxious, excessively coy humblebrag.
I said that was from a long time ago. It wasn’t the bulk of the post. But you’re right.
Lol, so many still refer to college, “In Boston.” Maybe not in May of senior year. But later.
OP, just be sensitive to your friends need for understanding. You want to jump up and down but some selective discretion is a nice trait. At this point, it’s about all the seniors. I’d say, you want to watch out for grinding it into them. They don’t need to hear you’re watching the videos, making new contacts, etc. Be a friend.
@bopper I just mentioned it when one of my friends asked. I probably shouldn’t have said it so loud though.
Do celebrate your good luck but just be sensitive to others who are dealing with stress of waiting or were denied from their top choices. As long as you are sympathetic to struggles of others and not rubbing it in, you don’t need to worry. You can never make everyone happy. That’s the nature of life.
Celebrate as boisterously as you want with family over the holiday break, but keep it close to the vest while at school.
hmm yes kind of hard but as others pointed out its just that others are nervous. Btw, if you dont mind telling which college are you excited about and what major?
So you have learned a lesson. This time it’s about college, next time it’ll be something else. You need to be sensitive to those around you!
You don’t talk about your prom dress with a friend who hasn’t been asked to the dance. You don’t talk about your graduation trip to Europe with the friend who needs to work all summer to pay for college. AND if you dont know their situation, assume you would make them feel bad.
You will have a great time at college whether you broadcast your excitement and plans from the mountaintops now or if you keep your excitement to yourself. Tone it down until May, when all your friends can be excited together.
What does complaining about laundry have to do with designing your dorm? Maybe it’s not what you’re saying so much as how often you’re saying it. You changed your phone wallpaper to the school logo, spend class time watching college videos and researching dorms and classes, and tell your friends how happy you are to be done writing essays. To bring it up when complaining about mundane chores seems a little much.
Are you asking your friends how their searches are going? If people ask where you applied/got accepted you could say your current plan is to attend school x, then ask what their plans are. Not all kids can afford residential college, so be prepared for a range of answers.
“Clam down.” Not sure at first why that made me giggle, then I remembered the hysterical echoes of yesteryear. For those of you who haven’t yet had the privilege… http://talk.qa.collegeconfidential.com/what-my-chances/470497-clam-fart-oh-my-god-what-did-i-do-p1.html
“You changed your phone wallpaper to the school logo, spend class time watching college videos and researching dorms and classes, and tell your friends how happy you are to be done writing essays.”
There is nothing wrong with any of this, with the possible exception of telling friends who presumably still have essays to complete how happy the OP is to be done with hers (though I’ve spent enough time around high schoolers to know that if this conversation was between two guys, one would totally be boasting about being finished!). She is allowed to be happy. What she does with her cellphone wallpaper and password isn’t the business of any of her friends. This achievement is built upon many years of hard work. And OP didn’t say she was always the first to bring up the subject.
Obviously her friend is suffering from anxiety, maybe not experiencing the admissions success the OP has. Sensitivity to that is certainly in order. Likewise, jealousy and envy aren’t likely to further the friendship either. Whenever the subject comes up, OP will just have to remind her friend that her turn will come, and friend is the kind of person who will succeed wherever she goes.
Then there is the question about intentions of the post itself. But if you are genuinely seeking advice, I’d say that is a good thing because you don’t come across on your post as a “sympathetic character”. By that I mean, there is nothing that you’ve said that makes me feel you care particularly about your friend, her feelings or why she may be upset or even that you genuinely want to gain insight into why she is expressing to you what she is. So if the note is a sample of your typical behavior, perhaps I can provide some helpful insights. You come across as complaining about your friend who you view as unreasonable; and appear motivated to collect the support of others for that viewpoint. Your post does not make me feel the least bit happy for you. Rather, the post itself comes across as a humble boast that does not seem designed to get to the bottom of a problem. You don’t come cross as a kind person who is genuinely confused about why a friend may be so upset or as if you are seeking advice about how to make her feel better. Rather it seems meant to elicit comments that may disparage the “friend”. So if you are really concerned about your friend (friends) spend the rest of the college admissions season expressing concern, empathy and support. Take seriously the idea that your legacy status gave you an advantage and if not for that, you’d probably be in the same boat as your peers who are still worried and anxious.
LMAO @privatebanker I think I may have met you in a club in NJ in the late 80’s!! “A small college in Boston” was the exact line!!! LOL