<p>haha i almost went to that party, leah. was it the girl talk concert? </p>
<p>as for dancing, just go up to a girl, stay chill, ask her if she wants to dance and go for it. bonuses: smell good but not overpowering</p>
<p>haha yep girltalk!</p>
<p>saw him at cat’s cradle earlier this year, too</p>
<p>
That didn’t sound like anything even remotely close to sexual assault…</p>
<p>As long as he stops when you say no or when you try to stop him it is not. The deal is that a guy can’t ask the girl about this since it will break the mood and it is impossible to read minds, and I am sure that women would hate it if the guy asked if he were allowed to every time he wanted to seduce her.</p>
<p>i used to have the exactly same problem. Now asking girls to dance on the dance floor has become quite easy for me. Basically your mentality should be I don’t give a <strong><em>, I don’t give </em></strong> about what people think about me, rejection is no big deal. Do not connect rejection with your self-image. Your self-esteem should be sustained internally instead of built on other people’s opinions. Embrace rejections. They are fun. Hell, you should play a game with yourself or your friends if they are willing and man enough, to see who gets the most rejections on the dance floor. What is the worst that can happen, the girl says "** off" in your face? That probably will never happen. In fact if you get a “**** off”, you should celebrate and know that you just get one stupid ***** out of the way and one step closer to your dream girl. </p>
<p>No one can change who you are. A rejection will not make you a less of a person and don’t worry about other people seeing you getting rejected. Next time when you find yourself scared to death about asking a girl, tell yourself nothing bad is going to happen and you can only gain from the experiences and nothing to lose.</p>
<p>
This is the best way to tackle it. </p>
<p>This is also the reason women thinks that men are so shallow and uncaring. But there aren’t that many options really.</p>
<p>
he actually was pretty aggressive (biting a LOT, trying to get me to go home with him after like 5 minutes, etc.). it kind of freaked me out. i’ve certainly been in situations where things have escalated mutually, but it’s uncomfortable when it’s entirely one-sided…</p>
<p>clearly i don’t actually feel assaulted (i was joking when i said that), but i seriously don’t know what would have happened if i had gone home with him…that could have been a bad situation.</p>
<p>where do you live anyway, leah? (not trying to be creepy, just sounds like you go to a lot of the same local things as i do)</p>
<p>i go to carolina & i’ll PM you where i’m from haha</p>
<p>well many guys don’t dance because they don’t know how and they think girls will say they suck. Take some dance lessons and everything will be all good. You will be able to get any girl if you can dance.</p>
<p>Eh… a guy can appear try-hard if he’s doing a bunch of hip hop moves when everyone else is bobbing around lazily. Now partner dances, sure - that’d be a great idea. I wouldn’t say its the magic bullet to getting girls though - that comes from actually being a great dude, not some entertaining tricks.</p>
<p>Leah - I just find your perspective a bit amusing.</p>
<p>-Some guy comes up to you, and you agree to dance with him, want to dance with him.
-You think he’s cute; aka you find him physically appealing. (I hate the word cute).
-You kiss him/ makeout with him.</p>
<p>Okay, so he wanted to have sex with you (duh) and you didn’t feel like it. Can you blame the guy for trying? Granted, the genius didn’t have the brightest idea by trying to finger you in public - but you weren’t exactly unreceptive up until this point, honey.</p>
<p>“I don’t know what would have happened if I went home with him.”</p>
<p>What? He’d try to undress you, get on top of you, and start humping. Vaginal intercourse. Where’s the mystery?</p>
<p>I’m not saying there’s a green light for sex when you get back to a girl’s or your apartment (far from it). On the other hand, there’s a usually an unspoken agreement that when you take a guy up to your place at 2 or 3 am, or agree to go to his place at 2 or 3 am, that you will greenlight him for sex.</p>
<p>If I’m at a club and a girl says “you want to go back to my place?” - to me this is seen as an offer for sex, hence the determining factor for whether I’d stay or leave.</p>
<p>Now of course, and this has happened, if we go back to her place but merely admire the drapes or “talk” – well hell, we could have done that in/ outside the bar/club - why did I leave for this? You made me leave, and go back to your place, for this? You liar!</p>
<p>i mean, since you weren’t actually in this situation, i think you’ll have to just take my word for it that it was sketch. believe me, i’ve had many a random dance party hookup, and this one was inappropriate. he was overly forward to the point that he was actually pretty aggressive (he continued to try to finger me basically until i walked away even after i’d told him not to/pushed his hand away SEVERAL times), made it clear that he was only interested in going back to his place, etc. </p>
<p>in saying i “didn’t know what would have happened” if i had gone home with him, i mean that i could definitely see the situation getting out of control too fast. </p>
<p>we’ve all had our one-night stands (consensually), but this guy in particular just made me uneasy. it’s important for girls to listen to their intuition.</p>