breaking out of my dance party shell

<p>this thread is quite ridiculous and probably (well...definitely) a waste of time, but i'm having a very, very hard time mustering up the courage to go up to a girl at a dance party and dance with her. My difficulties, i think, stem (surprise) from a fear of rejection. i've had friends push and prod me-even while on the dance floor-to just go up and dance, but i am just stubborn as hell. </p>

<p>I'm curious how you guys out there who've had to break out of a shell were able to get past your fears? psychological tricks? just f***ing do it?</p>

<p>i'm already hating myself even more now, lol.</p>

<p>ciao!</p>

<p>You said it yourself, just f***ing do it.</p>

<p>Alcohol.</p>

<p>Used to have the same issue as a frosh. Either pre-game before you head out (it’s cheaper and i’m assuming you’re semi-broke like I was) or bring your fake and get some drinks there. Either way after some shots you’ll have no problem approaching any girl.</p>

<p>Yeah, alcohol is called liquid confidence for a reason. The best thing to do is just act on your instincts and don’t hesitate. Don’t think, just do it because thinking will lead to hesitation and hesitation will kill your approach before it ever had a chance. </p>

<p>Another thing you can do is approach a group of girls with your friends. If you don’t have the confidence yet to open, have one of your more confident friends ask if the ladies would like to dance and pair off.</p>

<p>

</p>

<p>No, your difficulties stem from the fact that you’re probably stone-cold sober.</p>

<p>By the way, I’ll dance for like at least one song with any guy who comes up to me, just to be polite. I think most other girls do, too.</p>

<p>seriously, alcohol does the trick. I was out tonight having a bad time at a party, but as soon as I got past tipsy I was dancing and singing louder than everyone else, and believe me, i HATE dancing in public haha. Im not telling you to get drunk, but it reallly does loosen you up !</p>

<p>Take 8 shots and you’ll be dancing on the stage in no time.</p>

<p>Just to avoid confusion, no matter what people tell you alcohol is not a miracle drug which solves all of your issues. It works for some but far from everyone.</p>

<p>If you get rejected, you aren’t any worse off than you were before.</p>

<p>You’ll probably get rejected a couple times, then dance with a hotter chick and ultimately hook-up. Trust me bra</p>

<p>or just drink</p>

<p>thanks for the thoughts. very helpful.</p>

<p>i definitely agree with the don’t-think-just-act mentality (hey, boys are natural sexual creatures). need to work on that.</p>

<p>bro, just do it. you don’t even need alcohol or anything…</p>

<p>WITH SOME CONFIDENCE: just go up to any cute chick dancing by herself (this is key… she can’t be dancing with her friends. and she has to actually be on the dancefloor into it, not standing around), tap her on the shoulder and say “hey, you wanna dance?” </p>

<p>she will start dancing with you. </p>

<p>hell, i don’t even ask anymore. if i see a girl on the dancefloor shaking, i already know what she’s there for. might as well skip the formalities.</p>

<p>try this the next time you go to a party, and when you see how easy/fun it is you will feel stupid for even asking this question on a nerd messageboard.</p>

<p>lol i agree with blu_g8orade</p>

<p>people are at a dance to dance. a lot of times unless they are **** drunk they arent there to hook up so they probably dont care who they are dancing with. if they cared they would be dancing with someone</p>

<p>so just dance…make an ass of yourself. people forget</p>

<p>the first approach is always the hardest. after that one succeeds or fails, a great weight will be lifted off you the rest of the night.</p>

<p>alcohol will obviously help, I used it at first for sure, but I’ve gone several nights without it too, just to prove that I could/ get rid of the crutch. It takes a bit more nerve to put it on the line with a stranger when sober, but also, your sensory and physical sensations are stronger while sober >:D.</p>

<p>emory: people are at a dance to dance, not hook up?</p>

<p>That may be true, but I’m at a dance to hook up, not dance (though I’d never tell anyone at the dance that). If you told me no women would be there, and I get drunk, dance around, and sing to the music — well I probably wouldn’t show. I’d probably just get drunk with my friends at home and play rockband.</p>

<p>Funnily enough, many if not most of my hook-ups have been from dance parties. And I can’t dance - though I try to. I need to branch out more.</p>

<p>But yeah I always love it when my female friends tell me “I hate it when people just try to have sex on the dancefloor with you.” Because I say — “hell, I’m just trying to have sex with girls on the dancefloor the whole time.” Because honestly, I thought that was the whole point? Shuffling around in a circle of your girlfriends (or guyfriends heaven forbid) will never be as fun as dancing with a partner right in front of you, and tonguing the mystical stranger.</p>

<p>Ecstasy–the low calorie martini.</p>

<p>Just go up to a girl and dance with her… Dancing isn’t some big formal/important event; most people are just there to chill and have fun and unless you have something really obviously wrong with you (like being covered in blood and holding a chainsaw or smelling like you haven’t showered in months), girls won’t mind dancing with you.</p>

<p>Dude, you’re in Stanford.</p>

<p>

last night i went to duke for a big outdoor concert where everyone was basically smashed, and i was dancing with this guy. he was cute; we kissed a little bit…then he seriously started unbuttoning my jeans…etc.
so i was like, “*** are you doing?”
and he goes (NO JOKE HERE)</p>

<p>“welcome to duke.”</p>

<p>hahahahaha dear god</p>

<p>So I guess it ended up being a fun night for you.</p>

<p>We use “welcome to xxx” at our school, too - but it’s more of a derogatory thing.</p>

<p>Whenever someone does something socially ■■■■■■■■, or they fail at a basic activity like opening a door (pull instead of push) — we say, “Welcome to xxx”.</p>

<p>do you also say it as if near sexual assault is something of little to no consequence? haha</p>

<p>but yes, i had fun after i left that guy and met adorable bearded lip ring boy :)</p>

<p>pop like 1/2 or 3/4 of a boner so she knows “the deal”</p>