<p>Hi~ I'm new to CC, and seeking some help with my essay. I always get either 7 or 8 in the actual exam, so I did a practice essay and want it graded by experts in CC :D (Hopefully there is some improvements... I really need double digit score) btw I mixed the essay guides from various sites (definitely including CC)</p>
<p>Intro
The question "~~" suggests that.......... In other words, ............... Although [Opposite view], [my view]. The evidence throughout ....... is very pervasive.</p>
<p>No specific template for body :( (thinking of either 2 or 3 examples and thus 2 or 3 paragraphs depending on the examples I can think of)</p>
<p>Conclusion is from the 'getting 12 in just 10 days'</p>
<p>Can anyone, if possible evaluate the below essay following the above template??</p>
<p>Assignment:
Should people take more responsibility for solving problems that affect their communities or the nation in general?</p>
<p>The question "Should people take more responsibility for solving problems that affect their communities or the nation in general?" suggests that it is a civic yet individual duty to provide assistance apposite for communities. In other words, collective efforts prevail. Although staying aloof to such problems can be practical in that people will not be saddled with extra responsibilities that others of authority can take care of, people's contribution, in any form, brings more positive results that can ameliorate their standard of living. The evidence throughout history and current society is very pervasive.</p>
<p>Take for example China during Qing Dynasty in 19th century when scramble of China by foreign powers was prevalent. Express Cixi, the leader of that time, was incapable of dealing with foreign intervention that she caused several diplomatic friction with Britain and Japan, leading to Opium Wars and Sino-Japanese War, all in early 20th century. Because Chinese citizens were humiliated by successive defeats, they decided to overthrow Qing Dynasty for the sake of the nation through Double Tenth revolution, thus setting the stage for rapid industrialization by other apt leader, Mao Zedong. Several reforms and policies were implemented to increase China's diplomatic autonomy and rescue the impoverished nation - a consequence achieved by people taking responsibility of the nation's malaise.</p>
<p>Look at flooding in Fiji. Flood has been wrecking havoc on Nadi, the main economic generating city. With more than 5 major floods in a decade, flood was a major concern. Due to the extensive damage done by the flood, thousands became homeless. However, despite its devastation, Fiji could not only recover swiftly, but also build resilience. One main reason for this is that virtually all the people, including those severely affected by the flood, lent helping hands to one another. The fact that people volunteered to help in spite of government doing its best demonstrates that collective efforts produce the beneficial results for the community.</p>
<h2>After a careful analysis of China during Qing Dynasty, and flooding in Fiji, one can see that taking responsibility is, indeed, the desirable mindset in shaping the community for the better. Without people taking such responsibilities, communities can stagnate. Contributing to solving communities' ills is the only way to prevent stagnation.</h2>
<p>I know this is horrible, terrible and bad (since I always get 8 in actual exam), but could anyone please give me critical advice? I made up stuff btw. (like for China, I know Mao Zedong didn't rise to power as soon as the Qing dynasty collapsed, but... I was too lazy)</p>
thank you soooo much!! I was worried about my essay for SAT tomorrow lol 
I actually think mentioning 2 in-depth examples like you did is sufficient. If you try to squeeze in three, you won’t be able to fit in as much detail and you’ll feel stressed out / may not be able to finish in time. Not worth it.</p>