<p>I NEVER ask my d. about her grades. As far as I'm concerned, it is her business. If she wants to share, of course, that's her right.</p>
<p>Of course, she never had grades before, and never went to high school.</p>
<p>It seems to me that it has more to do with the atmosphere and expectations at the college than the selectivity level. My daughter has below 25th% SAT scores for her college, but she has Dean's list quality grades in her Barnard & Columbia courses. She found it was simply a combination of being disciplined in her approach (keeping up with the reading), and getting a sense of what profs wanted for college level work - once there, she finds it relatively easy to earn good grades. I don't mean to say that the courses are easy -- just that the competition with other students isn't a problem. In a way, my daughter's worries about keeping up probably were an advantage -- she knew from the start that she would have to be diligent about her studies, and she took a very conservative approach to involvement in EC's the first semester. </p>
<p>But it's pretty obvious to me that there are no curves being imposed in her classes. I'd also note that she is taking humanities/social sciences courses - life could be very different in the math/science world. </p>
<p>So I wouldn't worry. The kids I would worry the most about are those who didn't have to work at all for their A's in high school, who arrive at college with poor study habits.</p>
<p>jbusc - I certainly think you are correct about the GPA's longevity as an issue. But "the first few jobs after graduation" is sufficient to be a stressor for students in those fields.</p>
<p>paying3tuitions - I think you have a nice approach. We don't ask our S about his grades. He shares with us the one's he's worried about :rolleyes:. And then the end result overall when he's relieved and happy (so far).</p>
<p>OTOH, I personally feel that any parent footing the huge bill has a right to expect to know "how it's going," which includes for most people knowing what the grade situation is. Our son's schools do not provide grade information to parents. (Do any of them?) He can choose to allow us to see his grades. He has always done so. I have to admit that it would bother me if he refused to sign that waiver. </p>
<p>It is possible to both expect to know the grades and also put the emphasis on learning, growth, and supporting the student in achieving his own priorities. There will always be the parents who convey a sense that they have been personally let down if their kid earns anything less than an A. But that is a separate issue, imo.</p>
<p>GPA does matter for internships, study abroad programs and first couple of jobs. Students could be precluded from any of the above opportunities due to a gpa below some specified number, maybe 3.2, 3.0 whatever.</p>
<p>As long as your child is being claimed as a dependent on your taxes, I am told that a copy of grades every semester will be mailed to your home upon request. All you have to do is fill out some form. I guess the registrar's office would tell you. They won't mail it if they don't have this paper on file.</p>
<p>The UCs don't send grade reports or allow access to the online version of them for parents unless the student signs a disclaimer to allow the parents access. It doesn't matter if the parents are fully paying the tuition, claiming on taxes, etc.</p>
<p>Of course, paying for college gives the parents a pretty good negotiating position with their student in gaining permission.</p>
<p>My all A in high school son will be throwing a party if he can pull out a C in his physics class this semester.</p>
<p>At parent orientation his freshman year, the school representative said that all the incoming students were "good" students and used to receiving A's (as were their parents). He told us to be aware that now the "average" was reset and the C grade was given for work that would be considered average for that school.</p>
<p>All 3 of my kids' schools mailed home grades? Was it because they are/were private schools?</p>
<p>Above- probably so. Under age 18 son gets everything/chooses without our knowledge, he had to be the one to put his billing address as home so we could receive the bills, but we had to sign next year's housing contract...public U.</p>
<p>
[quote]
Does everyone here assume they'll hear about their kid's grades from the college?
[/quote]
I told my daughter that she is required to show me her grades as a condition of my financial support, and also that she must maintain a 2.0 GPA -- the same GPA that is required for the college financial aid. It's the "mommy scholarship" rule. </p>
<p>My son is now paying his own way at his college, so I figure his grades are his business.</p>
<p>We found out my daughter's grades (a) when we had to submit them for a "good student" auto insurance discount (which we almost didn't get), and (b) when she got despondent over being turned down for a study abroad program and blamed it on her grades.</p>
<p>JHS, there are many many study abroad programs out there. Some through other schools, others independently run. If she is eager to study abroad this Fall, there are some still open. And transferring the credits is quite easy from what I see/hear. Is she still interested?</p>
<p>She's got it under control. As a practical matter, it's hard for kids at her college to do other schools' study abroad programs. There are issues because of the college's unusual academic calendar, and issues because of its core curriculum requirements, and issues because of cost. She doesn't want to pay 150% tuition for an entire semester's worth of elective credits she doesn't need and that don't get her any closer to graduation. So she's planning a do-it-yourself stop-out deal next winter. She's a planner and a schemer, and she figured out Plan B in an evening. (She may have gotten some Cs, but her SAT-type skills have always been top notch.)</p>
<p>Study Abroad is really messy at that school JHS. They definitely need to make some changes there. They barely take 25 students to each location, and over 35% of the applicants don't get in. I'm glad she figured something out on her own.</p>
<p>There seems to be a pattern in this thread. Those parents with concerns about grades seem to be focusing on the sciences. I remember the same pattern from my college days. I was a science major, started with physics, then moved towards a biology major and finished undergrad as a chemistry major. I worked hard to get mostly B grades. I did collect a few A's, but also some C's. I still remember those killer courses (organic chem, both semesters and differential equations) where I worked really hard and could not get above a C. I also took lots of humanities courses, some as electives and some to meet core requirements. I transferred as a junior and had to take even more humanities because many of my previous courses did not meet the requirements for the new school. I was a slow reader and had very poor writing skills. Even so, I had no problem getting almost all A's in the humanities. Many of those A's required very little work. As a result of my experience, I never had much respect for the academic rigor in the humanities.</p>
<p>mkm - I don't think it's because your kid's schools were private that they mailed home grades. DS' three schools have all been private. None mailed home grades. One required a signed waiver to discuss anything at all with parents (academic, health...) - still didn't mail home grades. DS has always granted us access via password, but that was his choice.</p>
<p>Our S's (at big state u) grades are not mailed. They only appear on his school personal account webpage that I do have access to. He authorized me because this webpage is also where school bills can be paid online. S doesn't care if we see his grades because he/we know he has to keep a 3.2 to keep his scholarship. </p>
<p>S was an A student in high school but like others have said, the Calculus, Chem. and Physics classes in college have been very hard. He rejoiced over a B- in Calc. 2 and if he gets a C in Physics 2 this semester, he will be joining the party with MKM's S. So far he has managed all A's and B's but the sci./math has been tough.</p>
<p>There are no written grade reports at my son's university. I know this because every time he needs proof of his grades for the auto insurance discount, he has to go pay for a transcript. You can't just print out an online transcript for this purpose because (inexplicably) the online transcripts don't have the student's name on them.</p>
<p>^^What a pain!!</p>
<p>QUOTE:
"why are you asking the question? if they got a few Cs, would that bother you"</p>
<p>Don't mean to jump on this question, but here's an example of what <em>does</em> bother me: The rich ELC admits to Berkeley vs. the poor ELC admits. A study showed that overwhelmngly the former's previously perfect grades dovetailed for 4 yrs, due to partying & deliberately putting it minimum effort, whereas the latter remained industrious. It bothers me because transfer applicants (many of whom are poor and barely missed the ELC cutoff) work their tails off in community college for 2 yrs, earning high grades & having to compete with other industrious transfer hopefuls. </p>
<p>(I like ELC, but it needs reform, i.m.o.)</p>
<p>Given the recent sharp increase in selectivity in college admissions, I can't help but think that these kids can expect a similar sharp increase in selectivity in graduate school admissions and in the workplace. It stands to reason that grades will continue to matter and that employers/grad schools will look more carefully at gpa's than in years past.</p>
<p>edad: I don't know what humanities courses you took, or where, but I (very much primarily a humanities guy in college, although I accumulated what would have been a minor in economics if my school had had minors) never encountered the mythical humanities course that offered As for little work. Most of the courses I took had very substantial workloads if you took them seriously, and people who didn't take them seriously didn't get As. Plus, a lot of them were premised on the assumption that you had already read everything going in, and if it happened that you had read less than everything it was your responsibility to remedy that gap in your education on your own time. (I'm not talking about freshman comp here, obviously.)</p>
<p>I wouldn't argue, by the way, that grading wasn't easier in the humanities, only that there was plenty of academic rigor in "real" courses. I know that my daughter, who is a very serious English lit student, and an excellent writer for her stage of education, has to work extremely hard, and not always successfully, to get As in her upper level English courses.</p>