Can somebody score my SAT essay out of 6,please?

Test Preparation
1

<p>Is acting on one's feelings more important than talking about them?</p>

<p>Although talking about one's feelings is the first step towards acting on them, at times , feelings need only be contemplate rather than expressed and discussed with the entire world. A situation which shows that acting on feelings is more important than just talking about them is recounted in the following anecdote. </p>

<p>At some point in the course of my life, I came to be acquainted with a lady ( whom I do not wish to name) who suffered from depression caused by the stresses and the problems that her life involved. There was nothing she could do rather than suffer her plight silently. The infrequent visits that I and my family made to her home gave us all disturbing feelings; and so, we talked about how bad we felt for her; we discussed endlessly about how sorry we all were for her, but none of us acted. None of us were able to move on from our obsession with our feelings to what we needed to do. Now, I ask myself what would have happened if we had actually discussed how to make matters better for that lady. The answer is simple: we would have changed her life.</p>

<p>Action bears more weight than words do in the broader perspective as well.Mammoth revolutions such as the Civil Rights Movement, the abolition of the apartheid and the American Revolution would not have taken place if people had not chosen to merely talk and not act on how indignant they felt.</p>

<p>From impacting individuals to impacting the world, action has always spoken louder than words. Likewise, acting on one's feeling outweighs talking about them.</p>

<p>Please comment on the corrections and improvements that need to be made.
Thank You :)</p>

2

<p>Biggest improvement you could make: Make the essay longer. In your third paragraph, you give three examples. You could pick just one of those, and write an entire paragraph about it. If time permits, you could write a second paragraph about another of those examples. Think about adding detail–so pick the two of the three that you know the most about. Although personal examples are totally fine, it is just my hunch that you will score higher if you lead off with a literary or historical example, and then use a personal story subsequently.</p>

<p>Minor points of syntax: In your first paragraph, you want “contemplated,” rather than “contemplate.” One discusses something; one does not discuss about something. I think that you want “apartheid” rather than “the apartheid,” but I might be wrong about that.</p>

3

<ol>
<li>Sorry for the hasty reply, but its just not enough. It looks like you ran out of time on your second body paragraph. What you have is absolutely fine, but you should aim for two, if not three, solid paragraphs. Good luck.</li>
</ol>

4

<p>It’s really important to fill up all of the space in the 2 pages of the booklet. Do NOT write small. Also, if you can avoid personal pronouns that’s good too :)</p>

5

<p>Typos, grammatical errors, and just plain wordy phrases. Don’t waste time using five words when one will do. </p>