<p>^ 1. As the son of an alcoholic who had been drinking consistently for 30+ years, I worried about this somewhat before, but I can tell you that you are you, and he is him. You are independent individuals, and to a certain degree you will be able to make your own choices. Personally, I feel like to abuse alcohol has to be a personal choice for me, not something that “just happens.” Of course, your mileage may vary, but that’s how I feel personally.</p>
<ol>
<li><p>Then try not to get so drunk, or get drunk in a safe environment. There is this saying that it’s nice to have at least one time where you figure out where your “limits” are, but only do it in a safe place (with friends that will take care of you…etc.) To a certain extent it is true, because once you have a general idea of where your limits are, you will be better at stopping before hitting that limit and doing something stupid. If you drink in college, I can almost say you that you are very, very likely to do something stupid at one point, but it’s okay as long as you don’t get hurt, and you don’t hurt anyone. As cliched as it may seem, it’s “part of growing up.”</p></li>
<li><p>I am curious about something - say your friends all did LSD and heroin, and they all seem to have an amazing time…would you feel the same way about missing out on an apparently fun experience? You should know that there are many things enjoyable about life, and you DO NOT have to drink alcohol to derive just as much enjoyment from an activity. Your statement in parentheses worries me a bit. Alcohol should NEVER be the sole derivative of an enjoyable and fun college experience + life.</p></li>
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The degree to which a particular action is a risk is factual and quantifiable (the risk of dying at a particular BAC, etc.). Whether a particular action is worth doing despite the risk or not is absolutely an opinion. And any statement that involves an emotionally-charged, value-judging word like “stupid” is a priori likely to be an opinion, don’t you think?</p>
<p>(As an aside, I think you’re overblowing the risk of doing something “stupid” while drunk. Alcohol does lower inhibitions, but doesn’t create desires to do things. If you have strong feelings while sober that driving drunk is dangerous, you won’t drive drunk. Personally speaking, I’ve done silly things while drunk, but never anything legitimately dangerous.)</p>
<p>“Alcohol does lower inhibitions, but doesn’t create desires to do things.” That doesn’t make sense. If your inhibitions are lowered, you could quite easily do things you wouldn’t do sober. For example, while sober I would not have sex with someone I just met. But I could easily see myself doing that if I was drunk.</p>
<p>Well, I don’t consider morals to be facts, for sure. There are some ethical issues that are widely agreed-upon by virtually all people around the world, and there are others on which reasonable people disagree.</p>
<p>
You could do things you wouldn’t do while sober, but it’s unlikely that you would do something you wouldn’t want to do (but think better of it) while sober.</p>
<p>For example, when I was a sophomore at MIT, I thought a particular boy was very cute. I didn’t have the nerve to tell him so, or talk with him at length, or ask him out on a date. One fine weekend night, his floor of the dorm had a party, and I had a few apple martinis and kissed him. (Reader: I married him.) I wouldn’t have initiated kissing him while sober, but I certainly wanted to.</p>
<p>Of course, this is contingent on not putting yourself in dangerous situations, such as getting wildly drunk around people you don’t know or have any reason to trust. And it’s contingent on being honest with yourself about what you do and don’t want and what you are and aren’t willing to do.</p>
<p>If you haven’t enjoyed much, that will change with time if you seek it out. You would be doing something seriously wrong if you go to a place like MIT and cannot enjoy without drinking, because it has a lot more to offer than many places in the world. </p>
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<p>While this wasn’t directed at me, I should say undoubtedly they are, if by morals you mean what someone <em>should</em> do given a situation. What is an opinion, after all? You’d have to seriously twist the definition to avoid calling that an opinion.</p>
<p>However, this doesn’t mean anything goes for the simple reason that most people do have to follow conventional morality simply because the logical implications of what they desire demand it. </p>
<p>So perhaps a way to fix all this is to precede opinions by heavy conditionals: <em>if</em> you want so and so, you <em>should</em> do so and so. If properly done, these can indeed be facts. One can also give the consequences of a certain action, and taken to full logical conclusion, this can be illuminating as to whether or not one <em>should</em> do something.</p>
<p>I think many would shut their mouths about opinions if they were presented with the full logical consequences of what they are saying. Not all, just many.</p>
<p>Mollie always has an extra endearing story when I thought I already knew a bunch :)</p>
<p>Mollie: “One fine weekend night, his floor of the dorm had a party, and I had a few apple martinis and kissed him.”</p>
<p>Would you have considered yourself drunk or buzzed?</p>
<p>Also, you didn’t answer this: what are the odds of doing something that you’ll regret while drunk? </p>
<p>Mathboy: “I should say undoubtedly they are, if by morals you mean what someone <em>should</em> do given a situation.” Morals are absolute. Period (I am a Christian). Ethics… perhaps not, but morals are definitely not opinions. What is your definion of opinion? People can have different opinions on what is fact, but all but one of those opinions would be wrong. For example, hundreds of years ago it was some people’s onimion that the Earth is the center of the universe, and it was some people’s opinion that the Earth wasn’t. But it is a FACT that the Earth is not the center of the universe, and the people who said otherwise were wrong.</p>
<p>It was not people’s opinion. It was their conjecture, which means it at least isn’t <em>necessarily</em> unverifiable. An opinion by definition to me is unverifiable (that is, it makes no sense to talk of verifying it). </p>
<p>Sometimes, as I myself argued above, things aren’t opinions, and people only claim them (mistakenly) to be so.</p>
<p>At the risk of veering off course here…You can be a Christian, and call morals absolute. However, this begs the question as to what counts as a discussion of morals. Is there a list? And even if there is a list of everything you need to know, how does one know the correct interpretation of it? Christianity’s own literature speaks of instances of being blind for a period. Believing in absolute truth, as lofty as it is to define such a thing, is different from knowing what it is. </p>
<p>Perhaps you are speaking of “beliefs” which are different in general from opinions.</p>
I was drunk. I was very, very drunk. (Husband confirms.) </p>
<p>
That’s tough to quantify in a general sense, for all people, I think?</p>
<p>Personally speaking, I’ve done a few things drunk I wouldn’t have done sober, but I’ve never done something I later regretted. But I’m not sure I’m a typical case, because 1) I don’t drink very often, and 2) I’ve never been drunk around people who aren’t my close/trusted friends.</p>
<p>mollie: hmmm… Somewhere else I said that I wouldn’t drink if the odds of me doing something stupid were greater than 1 in 100, and one guy said that if that’s the case, I shouldn’t drink.</p>
<p>All said, I think it would be stupid for you to drink, onamatapia. You seem pretty content without it, and would keep questioning its merits even if you tried it, and frankly it’s not so big a deal that it’s worth that much thought.</p>
<p>I’m the most popular kid at my school, but I also have one of the highest gpas, sat’s, and am involved in the most extracurriculars. I believe that there are other students like me and if we get into MIT then that’s an explanation separate from changing in college.</p>
<p>There are a lot of answers that I can give to this question, but I think the most honest one is this:</p>
<p>MIT is full of awesome, intelligent, dynamic people who make a variety of decisions, but one thing is pretty constant - you’re not going to get very far with /anyone/ here if you don’t give up your judgmental, immature attitude.</p>
<p>Many people have discussed their reasons for drinking and given you reasons why you might change your mind when you get to college. If you want to persist in believing that your opinion is absolutely 100% correct in all situations, go for it, but no one wants to be friends with someone who’s constantly judging them for their personal decisions. So, in the interest of making friends, I urge you to adopt a more “live and let live” attitude.</p>
<p>Is it really wrong to not want people to make stupid decisions? And It’s not like I’m telling you “you must stop drinking”. I am just very confused as to why so many people that are as smart as me are so interested in drinking and partying. Where I’m from, in middle school the smartest kids are labeled “nerds” and are socially isolated from the more popular kids and bullied by them. In high school, the bullying stpos but the social isolation continues. The smartest kids don’t hang out with the popular kids and so they don’t party and drink with them. No really smart kid at my school wants to drink.</p>
<p>Anyway, you never actually answered my question: why would you willingly do something you knew was stupid?</p>
<p>“but no one wants to be friends with someone who’s constantly judging them for their personal decisions.”</p>
<p>How am I judging you? Have I ever said, “you’re a horrible, stupid dumbass of a person because you drink”? No, I haven’t. All I’m doing is asking why people get drunk even though every fiber of my being is screaming to me that it’s a dumb idea. And I’m also worried that I won’t be able to find enough people in college and beyond who don’t want to drink. I want to eventually fall in love with someone, but I’m worried that I won’t be able to find an attractive girl who doesn’t drink. And I also really, really, wish that alcohol didn’t exist, because if it didn’t, my dad would never have become an alcoholic cheater who ruined our family.</p>
<p>Edit: And anyway, I have friends. None of them drink. I may not have a lot of friends, but I don’t even want a lot of friends. A bit more than I currently have would be nice, but I wouldn’t like having tons of friends, and I’m happy with the friends I have</p>
<p>@onamatapia: did we not agree it is stupid precisely when in bad company? And Mollie and others already said they don’t do that, so what’s the problem?</p>
<p>As for why people with high technological ability make poor personal decisions at times (a different question), it’s because in real life, you have to care enough to use your intelligence for something. Some people just don’t care about the risk enough. You can care about science and be oblivious to a lot of things.</p>
<p>Smart is a generic term. It takes a lot of skill to play video games well - lots of strategizing, sometimes being truly a genius to achieve certain feats. Why don’t all skilled videogamers do at least decently at school? Because a lot of them would rather put their energy into something else.</p>
<p>You are associating “doing well at school” and “smart” with “being sensible,” and the two aren’t necessarily the same. I’ll bet you some criminals are really smart (smarter than you and me) - perhaps good at math, good at strategizing, good at dealing with people. Yet they’re still criminals.</p>
<p>Still, my question stands - we established earlier that drinking/partying isn’t the problem, and rather doing so in bad company is; what remains to be answered?</p>
<p>You probably won’t run into many who are steadfast about not consuming alcohol. But you’ll probably meet a reasonable number who don’t care too much for alcohol and will be good company when the others are out drinking.</p>
<p>Onamatapia, you are still relatively young and appear quite anxious.</p>
<p>I think you need to try to take a broader view. There are many things in life that bring risk, but to avoid risk totally would mean not living. Do you ride a bike, ride in a car, eat pizza, ski? All have associated risks, but I assume you wouldn’t have such strong emotions against them. I have no data to support my view (beyond personal experience), but I think that occasionally having too many drinks in a safe environment is not that risky. The emphasis is on “occasionally” and “safe environment”. These are the rules of drinking, just in the same way I assume you’d wear a helmet and have lights when riding a bike in the dark.</p>
<p>Obviously your father’s* experience has significantly impacted your view. In a similar way, your High School’s environment does not seem very supportive of “nerds”. These views are limited but dominate your perspective. Hopefully you’ll grow to acknowledge other perspectives.</p>
<p>It’s good you understand you’re an introvert. Insight to your personality can help you understand why you do (or don’t do) things. What you need to avoid is letting your personality limit your opportunities. I think a college like MIT would allow you to develop your personality in a relatively safe environment. IMHO, character development is one of the key objectives of college.</p>
<ul>
<li>The relationship between addiction ad genetics is evolving rapidly. There seems to be a genetic predisposition, but it’s not the only factor.</li>
</ul>
<p>When I say “academically successful” I mean successful on your terms (>4.0 GPA) and beyond: national-level awards, research experience, internships, etc. People who definitely have a chance of getting into MIT.</p>
<p>By the way, GPA considered on its own is not as good an indicator of academic “success” as you seem to think it is. Sure, it’s convenient to have a number you can compare with others, but that doesn’t mean it’s all that meaningful in itself. Sorry, but it annoys me when you refer to people as 4.0 kids or 3.25-3.75 kids. :P</p>