can someone grade my essay? please

<p>It would a huge help if someone can grade and comment on my essay. Thank you in advance</p>

<p>"I do not feel terrible about my mistakes, though I grieve the pain they have sometimes caused others. Our lives are 'experiments with truth', and in an experiment, negative results are at least as important as successes. I have no idea how I would have learned the truth about myself and my calling without the mistakes I have made"</p>

<p>Adapted from Parker Palmer, Let your Life Speak</p>

<p>Prompt: Is it necessary to make mistakes, even when doing so has negative consequences for other people?</p>

<p>RESPONSE
As the old adage goes “One must learn from his or her mistakes.” It is the mistakes that are made that lay the pavement on the road to perfection. Sometimes, the mistakes can be hideous, fatal, and even inhumane to someone or a secluded group, but it should be considered, as in economical terms, collateral damage. This one mistake might prevent future wrongdoings of the same manner. This principle could be visible in the global acceptance of the Holocaust and the idea of evolution; the mistakes bettered society.</p>

<pre><code>Genocide of recent occurrence, the Holocaust could be seen as the most appalling event of modern history. During the 1940’s, the atrocious actions of enslaving and, eventually, murdering of millions of people, primarily Jews, was performed under one man’s orders. At the end of the conflict that paralleled the Holocaust, World War II, the injustices performed were revealed to the global powers. Stupefied by the brutal actions, the world, as one, took steps to prevent such events from reoccurring. The United Nations was formed to curb future conflicts and the goal to equal provide for every race on Planet Earth. It is due to the monstrosities carried out during the Holocaust that such precautions were made.

In more prehistoric sense, the primary belief of evolution suggests that the strong reproduce while the “mistakes” wither into extinction. A certain specie with safely exist as long as it has no opponent. However, when an adversary arises, let it be either other species or nature, the specie must adapt to regain their livelihood. The process of adaptation is more or less a process of chance. It is driven by random mutations of DNA that would hopefully result in a favorable outcome. Yet, many of these mutations create “mistakes” that die off due to their imperfections. Humans are products of continuous mutations that changed us from prokaryotic single-celled bacteria to the eukaryotic multi-celled being we are today. The many non-existent species that have faded with time are errors in nature drive to perfection.

Mistakes are a necessary for betterment of everything. There is no method of distinguishing the right and wrong if no wrongs are done. The Holocaust has shown human reason of wrongdoings that could be averted. Evolution provides a natural example this principle and physically constructed humans as we know. Simply put, mistakes made humans and the world we know.
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<p>i suck at essays, but, i guess, they'll say you lack of more specific ideas and examples, when essay is written this way.
let's hear the others.</p>

<p>Too formal, not enough of you</p>

<p>okay, if you can write that in a pressure cooker SAT room in 25 minutes, PROPS TO YOU
(you'd probably get at least a 10..)
and essay doesn't matter much anyway.. as long as you get above 8, you're good to go
I'd say pay more attention to trying to get a good MC score
you can still get an 800 w/ a 9 essay</p>

<p>and it is neither too unspecific nor too formal
it's well organized, has nice vocabulary, and solid examples
(kind of creative with the mutations=mistakes idea)</p>

<p>however, you never know what question they'll throw at you on the actual test.. so..</p>

<p>I like your examples + analysis. I too think this deserves 10+.</p>

<p>There are some grammar issues, and if you had time to edit, you can reorder a few awkward sentences, like "At the end of the conflict that paralleled the Holocaust, World War II, the injustices performed were revealed to the global powers." Try to avoid passive voice, although that is tough with historical examples. You also like to repeat certain sentence structures so that they lose their effect (ex: "It is the mistakes that are made that lay the pavement on the road to perfection." vs. "It is due to the monstrosities carried out during the Holocaust that such precautions were made.")</p>

<p>However, I'm being pretty picky. Most SAT graders will not have the time to look at details such as those, and since they pride themselves on grading holistically, I don't feel those style/grammar errors detract from your overall argument. Good job.</p>