Can someone grade my practice AP World History C/C essay?

Rubric is here: <a href=“http://apcentral.collegeboard.com/apc/public/repository/ap07_worldhistory_q3.pdf”>http://apcentral.collegeboard.com/apc/public/repository/ap07_worldhistory_q3.pdf</a></p>

“Within the period from 1450 to 1800, compare the processes (e.g., political, social, economic) of empire building in the Spanish Empire with the empire-building processes in ONE of the following: The Ottoman Empire OR The Russian Empire.”</p>

From the time period of 1450 to 1800, both Russia and the Spanish had been striving to expand their empires to gain a better role in the global economy. For Russia, this expansion was limited to the Eurasian landmass while the Spanish looked to the Atlantic and set up colonies in the New World. Both of these empires had just recently broken free from their foreign rulers. Additionally, despite different branches of Christianity, both of these empires’ religions played key roles in terms of expansion.
The Russians were in search of a warm water port, which would increase the amount of trade throughout the year. Peter the Great sought to expand to the east and eventually south to China because of this search. Catherine the Great imitated some beneficial aspects of Western society in the hopes of a better position in the world economy. In the 18th century, an agreement was signed with Austria and Prussia, the partition of Poland, which gave Russia land to the west.
With the discovery of the New World in the 15th century, colonies were set up to aid the Spanish economically. The large amount of bullion imported to Spain from the colonies created the illusion of Spanish prosperity. This was due to the strict mercantilistic policies practiced by the consulado.
The same year that Columbus set foot on Hispaniola, the Spanish Reconquista had ended, driving the remnants of Muslim forces out of Spain. Similarly, a majority of Russia had been freed from Mongol rule under Ivan the Great. This new independence gave these empires a sense of nationalism, encouraging them to expand and increase their empire’s power.
Evident in both of these empires in terms of conquest was religious influence. The Spanish believed that the subjugation of the natives of the New World was necessary to spread their religion. However, over the years priests such as Bartolome de las Casas began to voice their dissent. While the Spanish crown agreed with them, they did not change the treatment of the natives much at all as it would interfere with their economic gain. In Russia, those who refused to accept Alexis Romanov’s Orthodox tradition of state control over the church were exiled to Siberia. These Old Believers aided the colonization by Russia and in turn were able to practice their religion.
Spanish methods of expansion proved to be effective as it brought the empire great success. However, this success proved to be short lived. Russian religious and political policies progressed the empire greatly from being the backwards people they used to be. Nevertheless, Russia was still far from being as dominant as the West.</p>

Please grade this from 1-9 scale. I wrote this in about an hour, I’m trying to be more quick writing essays. Oh, and I’m a sophomore in high school.</p>

Thank you!</p>

<p>I’m not going to give you a score, because I would have to look at the exact APWH rubric, but I will say that you are heavily lacking in analysis (why what you say matters; specifically paragraph 2. Veryyy story-telling)</p>

<p>I like the solidness of the evidence.</p>