Can Someone Grade My Essay?

<p>I'm practicing for the AP World History Exam coming up, and I wrote a CCOT essay on Russia. If someone could grade it for me based on the rubric and give me some feedback, I'd really appreciate it.</p>

<p>Prompt: Analyze cultural and political changes and continuities in ONE of the following empires during the period from 1450 to 1750: Russia, China</p>

<p>Essay:
In the period of 1450 to 1750, Russia had many changes and continuities in politics and culture. Russia switched from being a disorganized empire once ruled by the Mongols to a monarchy like the rest of Europe. Culture-wise, Russia experience a kind of Dark Age right after independence from the Mongols to copying the modern Western European culture. However, they did keep aspects of their old culture.</p>

<p>Russia attained independence from the Mongols, a spectacular feat. After the Mongols left, Russia had to come up with a government. However, they couldn't come up with one fast enough so they became an anarchy for a while. Finally, we see Ivan I step up to the plate. A series of Ivans followed until Ivan III, also known as Ivan the Terrible. This Ivan killed many members of the nobility because he was scared of being overthrown. But then Peter I became king and he brought many changes in culture. He was known as Peter the Great because he was way better than Ivan III. So Russia's political structure changed a lot, but one thing stayed the same onto 1750 - Russia continued to be a monarchy.</p>

<p>Russia's culture evolved over this time period but also stayed the same. Peter I took a trip to Western Europe and was amazed by the fashions and culture he saw. He saw people showing more skin, political uprisings, books on other forms of government, and more, and he was determined to make Russia more like Western Europe. He returned to Russia and made the men shave their beards and wear thinner clothing. So Peter's trip caused Russia's culture to change. However no political uprisings occurred because the Russians were never exposed to the Enlightenment works of John Locke, and Thomas Hobbes. Peter made sure his Russian people never got to read those so he could remain king. And that was the only thing that remained the same from 1450 to 1750 - the Russians were never exposed to the Enlightenment authors.</p>

<p>While Russia's political structure and culture changed a lot between 1450 and 1750, it also stayed the same. After the Mongols left, Russia was a political mess. However a monarchy was established and all was well because the monarchy never dissipated the rest of the time period. In culture, the Russians lived in the dark, until Peter I went to Western Europe and saw the amazing cultural advancements they were participating in. Peter implemented that culture in Russia and it stuck. However the political works of John Locke and Thomas Hobbes were never read by the Russians because Peter wouldn't have a political uprising. All of these events after Mongolian rule impacted Russia for a very long time.</p>

<p>Thanks!</p>