<p>Prompt: Are people's lives the result of the choices they make?</p>
<pre><code> People are faced with life changing decisions every day. Sometimes they make good choices and sometimes they make bad ones, and these decisions can affect their lives. People's lives are ultimately a result of the choices they make.
In the (underline)Scarlett Letter, Hester Prynn makes the life changing decision to commit adultery and gets pregnant. Hester belongs to a strict Puritan community and her husband has been missing for several years. For Puritans, adultery is a hgihly punishable rime, so when Hester becomes pregnant, they brand her with the letter "A". She is ostracized, humiliated, and alone. She spends almost a decade in this condition, raising her child as a single mother. She has no friends and everyday brings about a new form of humiliation all because of the choice she made to break a Puritan law.
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<p>You’re guaranteed a low score since your essay is “too short” for CB’s liking. At this length, the highest you could get is probably a 2, or possibly a 3 if you create a strong argument (which you do not in this essay).</p>
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Weak thesis. Re-phrased the question without adding anything to it.
Mere plot summary. So what?
You started three sentences in a row with “She.” Sentence structure is repetitive and boring. This is still just a plot summary. So what if she’s ostracized or has no friends? How does that matter to how her life was shaped?</p>
<ol>
<li>Boring; lack of various sentence structures</li>
<li>Too short. This is only one paragraph! It leaves me thinking, “What happened to the rest of the essay?” You should have 4-5 well-developed paragraphs. Start with an introduction (include the thesis statement in this part), write two supporting paragraphs, write a con paragraph to prove how your point is better, then end with a concluding paragraph. Make sure you use transitions! (However, furthermore, because, nevertheless, etc.) If you need help, get Cracking the SAT 2011 from the Princeton Review.</li>
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<p>Seriously, if you submit an essay like this you’ll get a score of 1-2.</p>