Can someone please critique my Common App essay?

Applying to College Common and Coalition Application
1

<p>I need someone to read my essay and tell me if I should fix anything. I'm not feeling that confident and I'd love some feedback. Thanks!</p>

<p>This is the topic I choose:
Describe a character in fiction, a historical figure, or a creative work (as in art, music, science, etc.) that has had an influence on you, and explain that influence.</p>

2

<p>Sure. I ll overlook the grammar stuff, and will probablly just talk about the content in general terms, i.e. the feel of it.</p>

3

<p>PM it over, I’ll have a look at it. It’ll be a more broad overview, but just send it over.</p>

4

<p>I’ll take a look. PM me :)</p>

5

<p>I can take a look at it too if you want :)</p>