Can someone please proofread my common app essay and comment on it?

Please comment and say if you’d like to read it and then I can directly message it to you

i want to read it!

@girlgoingtouni I wouldn’t send your essays to other students/new posters.

I’d like to read it!

I wouldn’t mind reading! I’m currently in the same boat, though, so I don’t know how helpful my advice (if any) would be.

Please send your essay, via PM, ONLY to adults with proven posting histories.

I’m not volunteering to read any more at this point. School is just starting, and I’m swamped.

But here’s how you can tell I’m an adult and not a kid: click on my name. Go to “Threads” and read some of the threads I’ve started. You’ll see references to my husband, my teenage kids, my students.

So it’s obvious that I’m not here trying to steal you essay.